#closetedness

[gayofthefae]

Closetedness is a muscle, you need to understand.

You tense it.

You keep it tensed and it grows stronger

But muscles aren't supposed to be tensed that long. And it will start to spasm.

It will start to hurt.

And over time, it will weaken. No matter how hard you try, you just can't really hold it anymore.

And eventually, you will not be able to hold on. Whether it completely lets go or the pain is just too much, it will let go.

It will relax.

But now it is sore. You need recovery.

And if you don't - if you can't - take it.....

It will just hurt that much more.

[miedemarsenal]

mum (yesterday): gay couples shouldn't be allowed to have kids or adopt them. It's not because they won't love them, they just can't raise a child in a balanced way and the child will be bullied in school because of their parentage. It's not fair on the child.

mum (today): nobody should be able to say who can and can't have children.

me: *slowly backing into the closet further while simultaneously grumbling at my hypocrite of a mother who I can't argue against because I'm semi closeted and I know she suspects and she still casually acts homophobic like what the hell?*

[nohbdyisperfect]

Just a Rant

Anyways, the conversation had started with said member telling me she saw/read something weird on fb and was wondering if I wanted to see or not. Curious and thinking "what have I not seen on fb", I agreed. Sure enough, she messaged a pic of the couple to me. 

I guess this is just a minor thing but it happens often and I'm getting tired of playing the cousin who has no opinion whatsoever every time this topic comes up whether in "why are there so many LGBT's out there these days" or "LGBT is weird", cause I do have an opinion. But coming from the family that I come from, that opinion isn't exactly appreciated and I'd prefer to keep the tentative peace the family currently has. It's been like a week without any drama. That's some amazing shit right there.

And to be fair, she's probably one of the more open-minded ones. I guess being raised in America and having told to be tolerant of everyone no matter who they are rather than growing up around adults who believes in all the stereotypes and preach all the prejudices separates me from her.

But yea, just a rant out of frustration. This is just a little things compared to the other bigotries I've seen in this family.