#cloudy apple

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Psychological Warfare.

Applejack: Dashie, did you eat the cookies I made for Cloudy's birthday party?

Dash, clearly lying: No.

Applejack: You're ugly when you lie.

Dash: I'm not lying!

Applejack: Then why are you ugly?

Richard Horvitz, who is our Random Narrator for the evening (don't question it): From that day on, Rainbow Dash swore to never tell a lie again. For she was so traumatized by the thought of Applejack thinking she was ugly, it scared her for life. 

Richard Horvitz: Of course, Applejack never actually thought Rainbow was ugly. It was all just a clever ruse to trick Rainbow into being more honest. And it worked!... For about a week. That's about how long it took for Rainbow to get so drunk that she just kind of forgot.

[askthedasturpones]

Thanks @kamenzero759 for commissioning this to help me get started on this blog! I loved doing this so much and really liked how it turned out!

Based on the quote kamen sent to my other blog!

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The Entire Dynamic

Dash, monotone: Today, I will cause problems. On purpose.

Applejack, monotone: Please don't. You causing problems on purpose gives me a great deal of stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety that drives me to drink far too much alcohol. 

Dash, monotone: Fine. I will comply. Except I won't because I just lied. Get fucked. By me. After I cause problems. On purpose.

Cloudy, visibly confused: ... Why the hell are you two talking like that?

Maud Pie, who is suddenly just here: Pinkie Pie bet them a hundred bits that they couldn't act like me for twenty four hours. But they're doing a surprisingly good job.

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And now, a musical post.

-- To the tune of "Let it Snow" --

Zap Apple: Oh, the weather outside is frightful~

Cloudy: And the fire is also frightful~

Dash: Our house just burst into flames~!

Applejack: Holy shit! What the fuck did you do?!

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-- Cloudy and Zap Apple are fighting, violently --

Applejack: What in the world are you two doing?!

Dash, with a camera: It's fine, I'm going to sell the video on the internet for money. 

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Dash: Before you say anything, just know this wasn’t my idea.

Sparky: Or mine.

Cloudy: Or mine! I even tried to put a stop to it when I found out!

Applejack: I literally caught you all red handed as you giggled and fled the scene.

Cloudy: ...They made a very compelling case.

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A Children's Card Game

Dash: GAH! THIS IS STUPID, WHY IS THAT LEGAL?!

Applejack: Oh lord, what's going on over here?

Zap Apple, age 12: Cloudy's teaching mom how to play that card game he's always playing.

Applejack: And it's going...?

Dash: Horribly! He's being a little prick about it!

Cloudy, age 15: You said I could use my stax deck.

Dash: THAT WAS BEFORE I KNEW WHAT THAT EVEN MEANT, YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD! I CAN'T EVEN PLAY THE FUCKING GAME!

Discord, watching from afar with popcorn: Heh heh, Magic: The Gathering humor. Classic.

Discord: The loser posting this submission is projecting hard this time.

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Cloudy, age 7: Hey Ma, where's Mom?

Applejack: Weren't you supposed to be watching her?

Cloudy: I'm seven. She threw a chocolate bar at me and I was distracted for an hour.

Applejack: Well shit, she could be anywhere by now!

-- The f***ing TARDIS shows up, and Dash gets out of it --

Dash: Hey biz-nitches, check out my hot new ride!

Applejack: The fuck is that thing?

Dash: Don't know, found it in our neighbor's basement. Took it for a spin, and DAMN can this thing get around.

Dash: Also, unrelated side note, I miiiiiiight be the reason why the dinosaurs went extinct.