#sparked core

[askthedasturpones]

So lets hear a bit about yourselves. Interests, ages, strategically-exploitable-weaknesses. Ya know, basic stuff.

Some basic info from all of us!

[incorrectappledashquotes]

Dash: Before you say anything, just know this wasn’t my idea.

Sparky: Or mine.

Cloudy: Or mine! I even tried to put a stop to it when I found out!

Applejack: I literally caught you all red handed as you giggled and fled the scene.

Cloudy: ...They made a very compelling case.

[incorrectappledashquotes]

-- Twilight walks into the AppleDash household, confused as to why the whole house is shaking --

Twilight: Hey... are your moms home? I need to talk to them.

Cloudy, age 16: *trying to read a book despite the chaos* They're upstairs, but don't bug them right now. They had a fight, and they're making up.

Twilight: ... This is them making up? The whole house is shaking.

Sparked Core, aged 14: *somehow building a house of cards, even though the house is shaking* Yeah, they get pretty into it when they get worked up like that.

Twilight: Get into what?

-- Silence, aside from the whole house shaking --

Cloudy: Do you... not know what sex is?

Twilight: I don't think I've ever heard that word before. What is it?

Sparked Core: Holy crap, she actually doesn't know.

Twilight: Doesn't know what?

Cloudy: We'll tell you when you're older.

Twilight: But I'm older then both of you!

[incorrectappledashquotes]

Applejack: Hey, where are our kids?

Dash, disinterested: *points in the general direction of Canterlot*

Canterlot: *is on fire*

Applejack: Ah, I see. That adds up.

[incorrectappledashquotes]

Dash: Hey kids, wanna see something funny?

Sparked Core, age 8: Okay!

Cloudy, age 10: You're going to do it regardless of what we say, so just go it. 

Dash: Okay. Get a load of this.

Dash: *deep breath*

Dash: Fuck.

HayBurger Employee: Do you keep doing this because you know it bugs me?

Applejack: You get used to it after a few years.

[incorrectappledashquotes]

Dash: We have a problem.

Applejack: We have lots of problems. What makes this one different?

Sparked Core (age six), shouting from the other room: Ma? Where does mom keep her gunpowder? I need it for stuff!... That isn't illegal... I promise!

Dash: I think she's taking after me.

Applejack: 

Applejack: Well, at least Cloudy turned out all right.

Cloudy (age 12), shouting from a different room: It's in the basement with the rest of mom's dangerous crap that ma's hiding from her.

Applejack: Oh no.

[askthedasturpones]

Hi I’m back with my a post that relates to none of the questions I have to answer.

[incorrectappledashquotes]

Cloudy, age 16: So... about Mom being pregnant.

Applejack: We've been over this. We're owed a lot of favors by a lot of powerful people.

Cloudy: No. Not that. You seem to be awfully calm about this whole mom being pregnant thing.

Applejack: Well, is there a reason why I shouldn't be calm about it?

Cloudy: Mom is pregnant.

Applejack: *sudden realization noises*

Applejack: *sharply glares at Rainbow Dash*

Rainbow Dash: *preparing an attempt to open a bottle of cider with a chainsaw*

Applejack: She's gonna get my baby killed.

-- Several Years later --

Rainbow Dash: And that's why your less-cool-mom strapped me to a bed for nine months.

Sparked Core, age 6: ... Why did I need to know this?

Rainbow Dash: Because I'm still mad at your brother for getting her to do that, and you're going to help me get revenge.

Sparked Core: ... And you don't want revenge on mom?

Rainbow Dash: Even I'm not that stupid.