May 22
cm text posts - part 1
seen from Singapore
seen from Singapore
seen from Russia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Russia
seen from Russia
seen from Brazil
seen from Ukraine
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Russia
seen from Spain
seen from Türkiye
cm text posts - part 1
Reasons why Sergio the black cat is the undisputed Best Boy in Criminal Minds 🐈⬛🔥
Listen, I know this fandom loves to fight over which BAU agent is the ultimate comfort character. We argue about the waist-to-hip ratios of men in bulletproof vests daily. But today, I am here to speak the absolute, objective truth. The finest gentleman to ever grace the Behavioral Analysis Unit doesn't even wear a tie. His name is Sergio. He is a small, void-colored feline. And frankly? He clears every single man on the payroll.
Here is the data, facts don't care about your feelings:
He listens: Unlike certain federal agents who just stare blankly while calculating a geographic profile, Sergio perceives you.
He’s patient: He waits for his food. He waits for Emily to come back from being "dead." A saint.
He’s a real gentleman: Impeccable posture. No toxic masculinity. Just vibes.
He has good manners: He covers his paws. He cleans himself. He doesn't leave dirty coffee mugs in the round-table room.
He doesn’t cause any drama: No secret twin brothers. No getting framed by international hitmen. Just nap time.
He’s undyingly loyal to Emily: The only male character in the entire series who never let her down.
He’s so loved by his mother: Emily Prentiss would literally burn the world down for him, and honestly, she’s right.
He’s quiet: He understands that sometimes we just need a minute of silence without hearing about micro-expressions.
He’s genuinely affectionate: Headbutts > awkward workplace side-hugs.
He doesn’t hog the blankets: He curls into a polite little cinnamon roll at the edge of the bed.
And he poops in a box: He cleans up after himself! Do you know how rare that is for a male TV character?!
Now, let us look at the competition. I am not completely sorry for what I am about to do to the poster boys.
Sorry, Hotch: Look, I respect the grind, but you frown so much your face might actually freeze like that. Sergio brings joy. You bring a dark cloud of corporate bureaucracy.
Sorry, Gideon: You are literally the archetype of a distant dad who doesn't communicate for months. No calls, no texts, no voicemails, no letters—just vibes and birdwatching. Sergio stays in the house.
Sorry, Reid: My beautiful, brilliant boy, I love you. I do. But I am going to need you to shut up when I need you to shut up. Sometimes I don't want a 20-minute lecture on the chemical composition of oatmeal at 7:00 AM.
Sorry, Morgan: "Chocolate Thunder" who? I only know Midnight Purr. Can Derek Morgan fit inside a small cardboard delivery box? No. Point to Sergio.
Sorry, Rossi: Rossi would honestly look at this post, sip his expensive espresso, and say, "Whatever, I enjoy the more simple things in life." He knows he can't compete with a cat who doesn't care about royalties.
Sorry, Kevin: You’re a nice tech whiz, but the kitty has ten times the charisma and doesn't get awkward around Garcia.
Sorry, Alvez: Look, I respect that you’re a massive animal lover. Your devotion to Roxy is beautiful! Truly! But this is a cat household, Luke. The feline rules this jurisdiction.
Sorry, Simmons: You’re a sweet family man, Matt, you really are. But you have an army of children. Having a cat is approximately 400% less stressful than your morning routine.
In conclusion: Stan Sergio for clear skin and peace of mind. He is the blueprint.
the bau (and cat) as texts i’ve sent
cme season 19 text posts
Penelope: You stayed behind cause of me didn't you? JJ: Emily and I were worried.