Hey! So I donāt really have an A03 account to comment on it, so Iām just gonna put my feedback here:
(This is for the 7th chapter in āA heart he couldnāt controlā by the way)
WOO BOY THERES A LOT TO UNPACK
The platonic Logince scene is just- š„ŗ -itās really good, and just how you portray Logan overall in this story- I just love that caring nerd.
Another thing is how you handle Romanās guilt in this, I just really like how itās done and you can see his the fight to stay determined through the entire search. And he was SO CLOSE COME ON-
Speaking of being close, Remusās dreams were really interesting. And also I know how it can be difficult (at least from my experience) to write dreams in stories, because itās always the battle of explaining the scene as an out of world or abstract concept, while it still making sense for the reader. And you did a good job on it! And it was interesting to get more into some of Remusās story and perspective in all of this, as heās kinda been put to the side during the story for the sake of plot focus.
ALSO- that one dream that was a memory of Virgil and roman- I swear to god that hurt more than it should have for me. And Iām glad on how you kinda shed a bit more light on what they all were like previously, as everything kinda just got thrown in straight away in the first chapter, and it was just a really smart way to have a flashback-but-not-really to Roman and Virgil being soft and adorable. But GOSH DARN IT it just makes the recent events hurt so much more effectively now. Not to mention roman finding the books Virgil and Logan bonded over and that hurts just as well.
Oh! And the ending- I swear- for a second I thought (well more of hoped) that it would be Virgil at the door and they could all live happily ever after, but- it being??? Nobody???? honestly itās so out of context for me to really have any firm suspicions to theorise about.
But what I am wondering is if something happened to Virgil... cause he should have probably arrived back to the kingdom now, yet was noticeably absent from this chapter... hmmm...
But anyways, thank you! I really been enjoying the fic so far and I canāt wait for the next chapter! And I hoped you enjoyed this random long ask!
(Also please excuse me over analysing the story from a writing standpoint, thatās me just being a geek about story-telling and admiring the little writing choices, whenever you intended them or not)
Hi! Sorry this reply is so late. I had a busy week. But thank you so so much for this wonderful comment. Believe me when I say Iāve just been reading it over and over again. It really has made me so happy!
Platonic Logince is my jAM thank you!! And omg Logan is a character that doesnāt come easily to me, so I am so glad you liked how I wrote him! Thatās such a relief.
And omG Romanās emotions through this chapter were a rollercoaster. Just like Virgil last chapter, Romanās emotional journey through this is super important and I really wanted to put some focus on it.Ā
Remusā were probably my favorite parts throughout this chapter. Heās an important character, but a lot of his stuff is really vague and mysterious and short--so it was super cool to see more of him, and I canāt wait to write more for him too.Ā
Well, the good thing is next chapter is Virgilās, so weāll see whatās going on with him :D I already have the next chapter written out, actually, so hopefully it wonāt be too difficult to edit like this one was.Ā
This chapter was hard because it had so many important elements--from emotion to plot to background--and the editing took forever because a.) it was a long chapter and b.) there was an important thing about it that I couldnāt figure out for the longest time. So to get a comment like this on a chapter that kicked my butt so thoroughly is such a wonderful feeling. Thank you so freaking much. And gosh, go ahead and overanalyze! I love doing the same when I read fics, and I certainly love reading comments like this.Ā
Thank you so so much for reading and for leaving such a thoughtful comment. I hope you have a nice day!!!!!Ā