Personally, I find that a psychoanalytic strategy is not the best for dealing with phobias. I prefer cognitive-behavioral therapy. Phobias are interaction between what can be controlled (thought/cognition) and what cannot be controlled (behavior/the body's automatic reaction). Therefore, if only one is changed, the other is sure to bring it back. Cognitive-behavioral therapy demands changing the way the object of the phobia is thought about and forcing physical interaction with the phobia. I would suggest changing your thinking about the phobia and slowly interacting with the object of the phobia to get the body used to it. In the case of spiders, one would start interacting with pictures. Then perhaps a plastic spider, before moving on to being in the presence of a spider in a safe environment (perhaps at a zoo?). But this is difficult alone, as it takes great courage, so there is absolutely no shame in asking for help from a friend or a therapist. If it causes too much stress, keep in mind that phobias ought to be challenged mainly when they interfere with daily life.