#cold dreams

[unspokenmantra]

[drrjsb]

Body & Soul: The Endgame Fix Part 2: Cold Dreams

Summary: What happened to the real Natasha Romanoff. From Natasha's point of view, starting on Friday, July 6, 2018, seven weeks after the snap and almost four weeks since the Avengers killed Thanos on Titan II, "the Garden."

The last thing she remembered was Steve forgetting his gate passcode and having to be let in. He’d just moved out of the Avengers Compound to set up his apartment down in New York City, well, Brooklyn, and he said he’d lost his cheat sheet. She’d buzzed him in and continued with her planning session as Okoye argued to form a policing consortium to function independently from the World Council. They’d discussed it for another half hour before ending the video conference call. She should have known it wasn’t Steve when she found him puttering around the kitchen, fixing her tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. She’d been impressed he’d learned how to open a can and apply heat without burning the place down. They’d sat down across from each other at the kitchen table and chatted about what he was doing with setting up the survivors’ support group and getting the apartment furnished. She’d dipped her sandwich in the soup, and he’d thought that was cute. She’d taken two more bites and realized something was wrong when her vision blurred, and she couldn’t keep her head up. Steve had eased her out of the chair and onto the floor, but when she looked up and tried to focus, Natasha had seen her own face leaning over her.

The dreams never seemed to end. They weren’t all the same, but there were certain ones that seemed to be a variation on a theme. The interrogation ones were her favorites. In the old ones, she was in a chair and some pompous general was giving her all kinds of details about his operation or she’d collared some jerk who needed to be threatened into doing the smart thing. At other times, she was the secret interrogator probing her mark for information or manipulating him to do what they wanted. There was this one guy she’d been assigned to after Fury pulled her off Coulson’s team. He was a scientist. Pleasantly easy on the eyes and incredibly smart. Not just book smart either. The guy had a knack for making it across borders undetected and disappearing for months before anyone could catch up to him. He’d given S.H.I.E.L.D. the slip twice—once in Egypt and then in Vancouver—before she caught up with him in Windsor and followed him across the border into Detroit. She’d felt a connection to him the moment she read his file. He wanted to be good and balance out the harm he felt he’d done. He scared her shitless once, but he made her happy, too. Where was he? Why couldn’t she focus? Had he left her again? Take me with you. Please take me with you!

The new dreams always involved someone asking her questions or telling her to remember details about people or places. She didn’t have to speak. All the person asked her to do was think about the answer or the memories. She imagined she was looking at herself, but upside down a few times, but man, her hair looked like shit. “Tell me what you think of him,” the other her had demanded and pointed to a monitor with a picture of someone she loved.

“I miss him. We were going to leave together, but he thought he needed to protect me, so he left by himself. Then he just came back. We worked it out. We just needed a little space to know what we meant to each other. We held hands almost the whole way to Wakanda, and neither of us could quite quit smiling. We held each other the whole way back after we failed. We both survived. We just needed a little more time together. He’s a good person. His kisses are so incredible. He loves me. He’ll be back from Virginia Monday. We were going to make plans.”

“Shit.” There was a long pause. “He meant something really important to you. I suppose that’s why I’m here.”

For some reason, it felt like her heart was in her throat, and she sobbed, “Bruce and I are leaving together. I made him Hulk out on purpose, but he said he understood. He forgave me.” The cold feeling crept up on her. “Where is he? I want to see him.”

She dreamed of waking up with him in the spare room at the Barton farm. She was nestled beside him with her head on his shoulder. They talked about finding a place of their own with a little land around it and room for a garden, maybe some roses. They didn’t need to make a lot of plans. They’d see what happened between them and go from there. There were so many kids without parents now. Maybe they could do something about that?

“What do you think of this?” A picture of Hulk appeared in front of her, but something was off.

“Hulk doesn’t wear glasses. Bruce wears glasses. The dork. My dork.” Nat almost giggled. That was weird, and she felt almost giddy. “His eyes are Bruce’s too. Do they both have his brown eyes now? Hulk’s haven’t been just green for years, not unless he’s really, really angry, and then they almost glow. This guy isn’t angry. He’s kind of familiar.”

“Would you talk to him if he wanted to talk to you?”

“Of course, but I’m not sure who he is. He looks happy though. I’d talk to him. I’d talk to Hulk if that’s who he is.” She felt so lightheaded.

“Then I’ll have to.” The other Natasha came closer and took off her glove. “I’m sorry. I’m going to have to take a little more today. I know you won’t understand this, but I have to fit in here if my people are going to survive. You isolated yourself and did most of my job in the beginning for me. That was a stroke of luck. However, I can only learn so much from the files. I have to imprint on you to know and feel enough to pass for you. Unfortunately, every time I take an imprint from you, I risk losing myself in your identity like . . . what do you call them here? A sleeper agent. Sometimes my kind does that on purpose and trusts that at the right time, the right signs will come, and they’ll remember who they are. I’m afraid I’ll forget you’re here if I go too deep. I don’t think that’s right. It’s just not ethical if it’s not necessary.” There was a long pause where her fate hung in the balance. “I’ll tell you what, Natasha, I’m going to be sporting about this. If I don’t come back every 14 days to check on you and hit the reset, I’m putting in the order for the chamber to release you. That’s fair, isn’t it?” She’d nodded groggily. “Okay, that’s our deal then. Go back to sleep now, my beautiful dreamer.” She felt a cool hand rest on her forehead and drifted off. Please, no. Please. . .

Natasha drifted for a while. She wandered the marble and mahogany halls of the mansion she’d been raised in during one of her lifetimes. The former spy walked the corridors for days without meeting anyone. Then, she was late for the ballet class, and she had no toe shoes with her. Madame would beat her! She was looking everywhere for them. There was a roar behind her and she ran for her life. She’d made him a promise: she would get him off the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, and he would live his life. She would watch over him from a distance as she had for years in British Columbia, in Detroit, in Virginia, in Kolkata. He would walk away and be free. No one would put him in a cage. Not Ross. Not AIM. Not Hydra. Not even S.H.I.E.L.D. She swore on her life. “YOUR LIFE!” Bruce!  His name was Bruce, and they were going to leave together as soon as the world quit burning and blowing away like dust in a whirlwind.

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[eddycurrents]

[rockattitudegr]

Οι Evergrey παρουσίασαν το νέο τους single “Cold Dreams” με τη συμμετοχή του Jonas Renkse (Katatonia) και την Salina Englund.

EVERGREY: Video και νέο single “Cold Dreams” με τη συμμετοχή του Jonas Renkse (Katatonia)

Οι Evergrey παρουσίασαν το νέο τους single "Cold Dreams" με τη συμμετοχή του Jonas Renkse (Katatonia) και την Salina Englund.

[foxgirlchorix]

*fate fails the drive*

OOPS! GUESS I'LL NEVER ARRIVE

[whiskeyworen]

Strange dreams

Had a dream the other night. Part of it was inspired by the fact I’d spent most of a day playing Destiny 2, but the rest of it... Basically, it started out with me in my apartment, only I was in my D2 gear, minus helmet. I go outside, and the parking lot is...well, it’s no longer a parking lot. Let’s just say that some considerable TIME had passed between when it was a parking lot and when I saw it there. Time, and probably some HEAT rounds. Not a single chunk of asphalt left intact; it was all hilly and wrecked up like it’d been at the center of a strafe-bombing. For whatever reason, I decide to go on foot to the nearest convenience store, which is about 2 or 3Km down the road. It’s pretty well a straight line, but again, ‘considerable time and bad events’ have passed since the last time I saw it. It too, was hilly with wrecked road, and there were all these gross tendril things, each one about the width of my body, either coming up out of old sewer manholes or crossing from one side of the street to the other. Much as I had the desire to get rid of these things, the whitish barrier around them told me that, in video-game-logic, they were invulnerable. So I tried to spend as little time around them as possible while on my trek. All of the above is just establishing environment. The reason this dream stuck with me is because it was so COLD. Like, colder than I’ve ever FELT in life. It was so cold that, while I was running, I could feel not just my face numbing and fingers and legs getting icier with each step, but even the tip of my tongue while I was breathing was going painfully cold and numb. I realized about a third of the way to my goal that, despite what I was wearing, and how insulated it was supposed to be, I was not going to survive the journey for much longer. It was critically cold. If I had to put an estimate temperature, I’d say somewhere between -60C and lower. Instant freezer-burn on all exposed flesh. It was around the time I realized this, that I woke up. I had to actually check myself for frostbite, because for a moment, the cold had followed me into the waking world. But no, I wasn’t cold. In fact, I was nicely bundled up and very warm in bed, in a warm room. But for just a few seconds after I woke up, I still felt that to-the-bone-and-further icy freeze. The frozen tongue tip was the most disturbing part to me.

[bratofinfondo]

france 1986

[chromaluma]

Holy shitballs

Making a proper short film is more challenging and stressful than I ever thought. For the first time I'll be directing a short with proper crewing, budget, etc, all that technical stuff. Never in my life have I directed something and I feel that I am waaaaaaay over my head right now. But damn, its a lot of fun. We are just working on pre-production and auditioning at the moment and there is so much on my hands right now I cant even fathom how much I'm still gonna have to do. But damn, its a lot of fun. I'll possibly start posting a journal of the process here, along with a few pics of production. It would be nice to document me walking on this thin line between success and failure. Luckily I have some amazing people working with me helping me make this film come true. I couldn't be happier and more excited about how this is going. 

See ya soon followers. And obviously, I'll put the video up here as soon as its is finished for all of you to see.

Also if any of you live in the Brighton, UK area and are interested in acting in a noir/psychological thriller let me know, we'll be taking applications until the 15th of November.

See ya!