Continued from: «I’m sorry,» Castiel answers sincerely, though he cannot fathom why she would want him around at all. His brow furrows, the lines in his forehead becoming more prominent. He was the creature that had ultimately led to both of her parent’s demise. He had failed to protect her, and in no way resembled a guardian angel for her. In fact, all he resembles is her father, the shell of a man whom he took from her, «I do not think it wise, for us to see each other, Claire. I am not what you are looking for. Sam and Dean are well-equipped to help you, if you’re certain about this path.» There’s too much pain attached to her, for them both. Yes, he’s missed everything. And he intends to miss everything else, too. It’s the closest thing to safety and penance he can offer her. Her life has been filled with grief and misfortune due to his decisions, but her life is still hers. It’s all he can give her now.
@colourinthesky
It wasn’t really fair for her to be so angry with Castiel, but that was just one of the many feelings she felt around him. The words were more meant for her father, who despite knowing he was gone, she felt as though saying them to ‘his face’ was the only way to get it through to him.
Honestly, she would have loved to just be rid of all angels, demons, monsters, and hunters in her life, but that was just impossible at this point. What she wouldn’t give for just one more family dinner with both of her parents, even if meant having to pretend to believe in whatever prayer her religious father would have decided was needed before they could eat.
Spending time with Castiel was the closest she could get to that now though, until she would actually pay attention to him. The small things and the emotions were far different. Castiel was right that he wasn’t a father-figure for her, just someone that at times would make her have to look twice at times because of her father being his vessel.
Unfortunately, a part of her still blamed the Winchesters as well despite having gotten a bit more tolerable of them and she didn’t want to be like them. Destroying families like her own had been was not something she wanted to do. Nevertheless, she had made her choice to become a hunter to try and protect others from the same fate she had. A chance to grasp onto that childish innocence that she wished she could have one more time.
“No one can help me. No apologies or company can fix what happened to my family.” The words were spoken harshly in an attempt to hide the pain that she felt. “Just stay safe and don’t die.” A bit softer than her previous words, but her intentions weren’t too much for Castiel, but rather the fact that she was pretty sure she couldn’t handle the sight or news of her father’s body being gone.
