#comfort1

[ziracona]

Hi Ziracona! I havent asked a question in a minute so I figured I'll try to ask some questions and theories this time :)

Oh also! I finished 6 of your works for dbd, new dawn fades is my last one. On deaf ears was really interesting, especially vigos characterization (also Oliver, but he kinda makes me mad cause I just want him to be okay). Other than ILM I find myself rereading half-life so much, cause it has one of my favorite dynamics (everything with Quentin, Min and Anna is my favorite plotline in ilm I'd say :p)

So, first question: who created the refined serum? This is the event add-on for the medkit which consumes the medkit but gives the survivors larger fov and a haste boost for some time. I'd figure it would be made by the entity after Talbot fully succumbs to the serum as a cruel joke, but my other thought would be benedict could probably figure it out considering he had been there for so long and had all the know-how. Of course it could be someone unnamed, Vigo, or I could see claudette too.

Second question, or theory I guess: azarovs soul being trapped inside his spine and skull as Philips weapon. Its something the entity has done before, usually with iridescant add-ons its seen. But it'd be a little bit of emotion it could drain from azarov or Philip.

Third question: what were benedict/Alex/olivers perks? Is it anywhere in the series and I'm just forgetting? Sorry if it's been shown and I'm just being a little slow cause I've been reading so much.

Fourth question, kinda theory: the characters escaping during ILM is the “third escape” the devs referenced forever ago that no one has found out yet

Fifth question: did you use the obsession mechanic for every killer? Like Laurie is always Michaels obsession, but is it the same for other killers? Quentin/min for Anna? Claudette for Philip? Etc etc cause I can give an example for everyone other than like plague.

Sixth question: did the nurse burn down crotus prenn? Did the entity?

Seventh question, also a theory: Alright this ones the most interesting to me so if I'm completely missing the mark I'm gonna feel bad, but since all characters have four perk slots and the teachables associated with the characters are only three, its kinda implied the characters either have an empty slot or another perk. Now looking at the numbers the modern survivors end up at 15, and the general perks (or lost tapes characters) are 14, now feng uses one of bills perks during ILM so I'm going to omit her, but for everyone else do they have the general perks in that last slot? Who gets what? (I have my own guess but id prefer to hear yours if this is true)

Eight question, theory now: the modern survivor cast all got their memory affected/altered by the entity. Before joining the main cast they don't really remember anyone else from the realm, so I think they lose memories of whoever the entity doesnt want them to know of, this could be benedict or other survivors like bill because he is from a different universe. The only exception is nea and kate both remembering benedict and kate also remembering tapp, I'd say this would align with them surviving trials and joining the modern cast shortly after interacting with benedict/tapp (nea joins modern cast after ace even though she got into the realm earlier and kate was also out there for a while so I think they just spent some time out there and survived two trials In a row in comparison to everyone else). Because for the game the characters supposedly lost memories of other survivors after death, I thought it was a neat reference to the game that also gave it some story relevance.

Ninth question, another theory: the entity gave powers to Krueger and Michael. We've seen the entity bestow gifts to the killers before they join the realm such as Lisa and rin, but also these are the only killers to have a token based perk that increases in strength as the trial goes on (aside from huntress because she's the goat or something I don't know) Lisa has devour hope, rin has spirit fury, krueger has fire up and Michael has all of his perks. Now in tome lore its revealed the entity bestows power or evil to a world so that it may suffer and he can pull a character or realm from that (such as the naughty bear series) so it could be assumed the entity gave power to an unknowing Michael Myers and tries to influence him into being evil, and was a lot more transactional or upfront to krueger when it helped him become a dream demon. It's also noted (aside from huntress again because she's the best) that these four killers I believe are some of the strongest during ILM, with a top 5 off the top of my head being: Krueger, Rin, Michael, Anna, Lisa and then Talbot somewhere in there

Tenth question, another theory: Evan Macmillan was a survivor before being a killer during ILM. It just makes so much sense during ILM in comparison to the base game, with killers being able to be perceived as survivors through claudettes empathy or aces luck, but also killers like Susie being able to work on a generator or Vigo convincing Philip he was/could be a survivor (this is how they met right? I think???) aswell as survivors transitioning into killers with Talbot and potentially claudette as it seemed that was what the entity was gearing towards. Now why Evan? Well his base lore and first tome lore describe him completely differently and I think that represents how he thought of himself and his actions before and after becoming a killer in the entitys realm as Evan really did posses a lot of empathy, compassion and kindness that his father never had which was eventually taken from him and it's interesting how he's the first killer to get a direct buff in his actions (brutal strength and agitation) with no prerequisites like the entity is trying to fuel him into enjoying being a killer and becoming this obedient version of his worst self.

Eleventh question or theory: ghostface would've become the entitys favorite in due time and the clown would have/already did lose favor with the entity. Ghostface being bestowed gifts and no maiming by the entity, and the fact that Danny genuinely loves being there makes me think the entity quickly throws clown from the top spot in favor of a new toy.

Thanks so much! Been reading a ton of your works so it's nice to look back and ask a few questions or see if I got a good theory for some things!

Hey! So glad you enjoyed the stories. And yessss, Huntress dynamics are peak. I loved getting to write Vigo for ODE. Credit for Ollie goes to @speckeltail whose oc he is, but very fun writing his disasters ass too.

Ok so re: refined serum. Tragically the answer to several of these questions is going to be ‘that didn’t exist / was not part of canon when I wrote ILM, so it doesn’t have any interplay with my canon,’ including this. Given your description I would guess if I did include it, it would be Vigo, or maybe the survivor doctors (Quin, Claude, and Adam) as a team? Benedict could have too, but I’m not sure he’d have put his focus into it. I don’t have a real answer though, because it didn’t exist yet when I wrote that world, so it doesn’t exist in that world.

As for Azarov, I kind of doubt his soul was there simply because of the time and distance discrepancy between his death and Philip getting snagged, but I could definitely see the Entity lying about it. Not sure if it would have, because that probably would not have had the desired effect on Philip. The only thing the Entity works pretty hard at is manipulating, and it did a lot of leg work to look in line with what Philip expected. Not as hard as it worked on Adiris, but it sure didnt slack.

Ok as for Benedict and Alex’s perks, I did know originally, and I can’t remember offhand if they were 100% general perk originators, or had like two and one each I made up. If it was all gens then I think Alex was Slippery Meat, This is Not Happening, and Resilience. If I had an original in mind it would have taken ‘this is not happening’s slot. Benedict I think was Déjà Vu, Premonition, and We’ll Make It. I remember going over that in my head years ago but it’s been so long I am not 100 on it, but I think it was something like that.

Ollie has his own perk set but I’ll call Speck in to answer this one: @speckeltail you’re up!

I am so out of the loop now I didn’t know they mentioned a third escape, but I mean if it was that would kick ass!

Ok obsession question: As far as like it tying directly into a perk that would benefit the killer from the obsession mechanic, no I did not intend for them all to be running an obsession perk. In a meta way though, absolutely. Just, some of the obsession was less strictly trial mechanical, and more about what the Entity got meal wise out of the trial. Even if say Evan is not running a perk to benefit himself from hunting Min, him obsessing over her absolutely was a tasty side of fries for the eldritch spider. It absolutely catered to this by sending survivors to killers who were especially interested in them, and encouraging this behavior directly and indirectly from killers. You’re definitely right that everyone had favorites and un-favorites to get in their trials, killer or survivor, and thought a whole lot about it.

Did the nurse burn down crotus prenn? Did the entity:

Sally’s rather train wreck of a time was introduced well after ILM, so actually neither of them did. Or I guess, I wrote no intent for that. If one of them had, definitely would have been Entity caused, but her origin was so different at the time that ILM Sally has a bunch of differences from her current canon.

Seventh question/perk questions. Do they have the general perks in that last slot? Who gets what? (I have my own guess but id prefer to hear yours if this is true)

Yes, definitely characters are running a fourth perk. Min has borrowed time like you mention. They definitely know general perks and some use them, but a lot of them are running a perk borrowed from another survivor, in ILM. Adam I believe is shown using balanced landing in Speak for the Dead, after learning it from Nea. Min learns Urban Evasion and sometimes uses it. (It’s meant to be implied that perks can be swapped out like in game, so survivors have more than 4 at their disposal). Laurie, Tapp, Adam, and David explicitly hold classes to teach some of their perks, and since Laurie is consistently referred to by others as one of the best medics (after the actual medic classes), it’s implied she has learned and is using a medic perk in her last slot. I am happy to go through w the whole squad, but any change I could read your guesses first? OuO

Memory question: so Nea arriving after Ace is based on release order.

I know the devs added their ridiculous ‘they forget whenever they die’ but that makes writing any piece of fiction impossible because you cannot have character development if your entire cast is routinely set to 0 with no * to give you some leeway. That addition was made well after ILM and I ignore it because I think it’s stupid haha, so it doesn’t have any bearing on my stuff.

As for if the survivors got their memories messed with at all though? Probably a little. Not like edited or deleted like Philip—way too high effort. I just think the realm is designed to make it easy to forget if you aren’t trying not to. Makes time seem less real. Most survivors had been in trials with Benedict, but since they never spoke to him, I think just how the realm works made it easy to forget his face, if not the interaction. Like a store full of people. After you leave, chances are 98% you don’t remember the face of at all, even if you passed them a few times. Realm just kind of eases one into accelerating natural human memory loss and poor retention, to make it harder to unionize and harder to meticulously record things like time and specific events.

Ninth question!

Absolutely the Entity gave powers to Michael and Krueger. It did not make either of them though.

Tomes didn’t exist at all yet when I wrote ILM, so in general they won’t have anything to do with how I wrote my world or people, and mine is not a multiverse world like canon DBD is. There’s just innately a lot of discrepancies now because of how different those world ideas are.

Michael was his own brand of bizarre in the world, and got snagged, then given slightly more specific abilities or edited abilities in-realm against his will. Freddy became a demon on his own, and was snagged against his will, but got a very upfront power edit. He resents the Entiry for being a more powerful entity than himself.

I try to stick to the canon of the media crossed over, so things like TCM or NOES or Halloween are totally in line with their existing canon, and only branch when the entity shows up. No causality. The original kind of Entity world lore was the idea it could only reach our world through weak spots created by murders and mass violence, and that’s why it appears where it does, more than like a causal ‘it made so and so do this in order to make it in.’ Though ofc there are times it absolutely does that, like Rin’s dad, or Sally. Just, I wouldn’t say it’s the Entity’s default. Does when it can, makes do when it cannot.

Very interesting lineup of top killers! Krueger, Rin, Michael, Anna, Lisa and then Talbot. I agree with the first four, but I don’t think Lisa or Talbot would take top billing, and Philip deserves a slot up there. He’s the tactical fighter niche but he’s in that top 5; he earned it.

Question 10!

Ah, Evan. His OG backstory was so different, so again this is gonna be an ‘actually this just didn’t exist at the time’ answer. He was a lot less complex and more just kind of a dick and hunting for sport in his OG lore, which is where I got the Evan I have.

Him (tome / even just original rewrite Evan) being a survivor would be super interesting, for someone writing multiverse world. I don’t personally love the ‘multiples of the same survivor exist’ thing, but young adult and teen Evan is so different from snagged-by-the-Entity-Evan in his tome version, even I have to admit you could get some good drama out of that.

(As for Vigo and Philip, sort of lol. He did not convince Philip he was a survivor, he just mistook him for one.)

Ghostface question:

That’s such an interesting point! Definitely likely. It would maybe depend on if he too could be tempted to collaborate with Freddy. Hmmmmmm. God the Entity would have been so done with Nightmare if he caused problems with /both/ its faves. Definitely a very strong possibility!

You’re welcome, and thanks for asking! Sorry so much just won’t tie in because of when I created my DBD world compared to when tomes began to be a thing. Glad you’ve had fun reading though, and always happy to hear from you.

: )

[ziracona]

Hi Ziracona! I haven’t asked a question in a week ish I think? I’ve made a ton of progress and I can show soon enough but importantly I have some questions I hope you can answer!

I don’t know your name or pronouns and I really don’t want to come off as rude during the video! For now I’ve stuck to just referring to you as Ziracona and using they/them pronouns. Also if there’s anything you want to share that I can put in the video I’d be happy to hear it :)

Another question is: during in living memory after the characters in the realm escape; what are their ages? I know we had chapter 45 (I think) say what everyone thinks/feels they are and since the realm works off of perception and such that can be true. But what about characters like Sally, Anna and Benedict? Did I miss their ages I’m sorry if I did! If I guessed I’m pretty sure Micheal would just be the same age as when he showed up; and everyone who stated their ages during chapter 45 is their perceived age.

Aside from that I guess I can ask a question about another theory. So vigo still could perceive the characters even once they got out the realm; and the nightmare never died until the last bit of the entity left the world (the portal closing was when he suddenly burns right?). So if Vigo still had some connection through the realm to see everyone and the nightmare staying alive until the portal closes is good evidence; is it safe to say aces perk up the ante was active for longer than perceived?

Alright let me give some reasoning for up the ante specifically; so that’s aces luck perk which is stronger based on how may survivors are alive with you during the trial. Now killers during ILM can be seen similarly as “teammates” or “allies” during several points (Philip unhooks Dwight, Susie works on a generator, Claudette reads Micheal’s aura as an ally with her perk empathy). Now ace perceiving everyone in the truck as an ally is really important as up the ante is the only perk to stack higher and higher based on how many teammates you have; so hypothetically it was strongest during the end of chapter 65 and during chapter 66 when everyone was nearby.

Up the ante works on a scale of 3% more luck per ally so it could go up to a ridiculous number considering there’s what 23 people in the truck? 24 if ace counts Anna under that “ally” category.

Now the main evidence against ace keeping the perk longer than others is that everyone else either can’t or doesn’t try to use their perks they had in the realm. But I feel like if anyone could believe hard enough or bluff his was into holding onto his luck longer than anyone it’d be ace.

Also I don’t know if it’s indented but aces situation during chapter 66 would work really well with this; during chapter 20 (and how ace views his situation) he states that he’s lucky but fated poorly, and during chapter 66 he’s in the worst position out of anyone (he’s stuck under the truck having to convince pig not to murder tapp or drag anyone back to the realm while the truck is also catching on fire and others are in the radius to die) BUT he also is lucky in that his bluffing lasts long enough for everyone to end up surviving. Does that make sense? Sorry if I messed up the wording that was kinda long and thank you!

First off, never apologize for leaving an author a long message. Nothing, genuinely nothing, brings more joy.

Ok so re gender and name no worries! I usually just go by Ziracona or Zira for AO3. R is fine too. I’m omnigender, so whatever pronouns are fine. They’re all accurate at some point. They/them works.

For things to share, do you just mean like a message? I guess just a thank you to anyone who has read and gotten something out of the story, especially anyone who has left me a message or comments or posts or Art. It was a really important project to me, and it means a lot other people found value and importance in it too.

As for Ages:

Sally I think was basically the age she went in, since she did not perceive time passing much. Anna similarly would be only a few years older. She is in her late thirties. Benedict had more information than them, and knew time passed, so he aged some, but obviously not in proportion to reality. He’s older, like 56-58? He’s a lot younger when he knows Philip, but the events of Signifying Nothing break him, and he aged drastically after. Not sure of any of their exact ages, because none of them know them either.

Michael has a concrete answer. He would not have aged at all, because he did not perceive time passing, except Laurie did. Being her big brother was such a huge part of his identity and obsession, once she caught up to his age, he aged slowly with her so he remains exactly one year older than her.

Correct in the guess that everyone is the age they decide in 45, with two exceptions. Quentin and Claudette both give an answer they don’t believe in. Quentin does this because he wants to be 25, and still Nancy’s age, but knows he isn’t. He hopes 24 can become true if he tries to believe it. Claudette does this because she is looking at it as a math equation, and 24 would be her age given the years she has been gone, even if she does not feel that age. I think both actually feel and thus are 22 at the time of Many More, but age to 23 by the November the group escapes. Everyone else gives an accurate answer, although Laurie I think would turn 27 pretty damn fast after returning.

-

Omg but that read about Ace. Oh you’re cooking very top chef

So this isn’t text but fantastic read—Yeah, people’s abilities are still in plan until the gate shuts. Less so for people who would perceive reality as totally different (Jeff for example, who had been there very little time and compares it to the fake world set in The Truman Show) more for those there longer in general who began to see less difference between reality and realm (ie David, who refused to ever accept it had different rules and live by them).

It’s like, gone if you let it be, lingering if you cling to it.

Ace is the person it would apply most to of the survivors, as his view of reality even pre-realm was different than average and more tied to concepts like will and luck and fate. He’s the only stranger Vigo comments in first person over when getting their highlight chapters, because Vigo relates to his way of relating to the world. So for sure, Ace had that luck stat up by a good 69% (for accurate stats and for the meme). This is probably a big part of why there are no allied casualties in that chapter. Although I want to definitely express it’s not that his luck carried them, it’s that every single one of them fought and loved and believed and tried with everything they had, and that let the team uncle send a little luck their way to help them cross the finish line. Much like Vigo has been trying to do with the little energy or support he could offer in death, to Philip and for years then the survivors as well: Ace is a very under-appreciated pillar of the OG team. He doesn’t show up or seem to hold up as much as them, but that’s because he doesn’t—but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t contribute as much. The OG four are pillars of the team (the life, the protector, the leader, the healer), Ace steps back but supports all four of them, and others as they join. Jane is right to criticize him for not taking a more active role in some of the especially bad stuff, when he’s one of the eldest, and a paternal figure to a lot of people, but with most of his life experience there, he really carries a lot for those around him, in a lot of ways. He’s awkward at a few things and bad at organization and leadership, but he’s fantastic at almost every conceivable kind of support.

(And yes! Nightmare should have died years ago after Quentin’s dad and Nancy did 87 ghost cleansing rituals on his corpse, but since the Entity’s realm is outside common Earth’s time/is a pocket world, time did not ‘catch up to him’ until his belonging to a world outside time now was completely cut off.)

Also, Ace has the strongest perk abilities after they enter reality again, but he’s not the only one who shows signs of some lingering ability in 600 seconds. >;3

[ziracona]

Hi Ziracona. Do any of the characters or scenes in ‘in living memory’ have an associated song?

I've been looking for some and for an example I think ‘not a lot, just forever’ fits Vigo so well. And I went to explain and record it in a 15 minute video, and by minute 7 I start crying and I think I cry again at minute 14ish??? Anyways what I'm getting at, there's a lot of comparisons to him and his relationship with the whole cast and especially Philip in that song. Is there anything similar for you?

Oh yeah, god I had huge playlists. I can dig them up and share them sometime if you want, but I’ll give the ones that still immediately come to mind.

If a song was mentioned in a scene (like Midnight Train’s many numbers, or the songs Susie plays, or Escape in the episode where Philip and Meg dance), it was part of that playlist.

For other ones, I listened to Sunflower, Dark Night & Kara’s theme exclusively in Dawn, and the first and last are common Claudette songs to me. (Dark Night was for Benedict)

For the Frank part of 600 Seconds, it was just MCR’s I Don’t Love You the entire several hours of writing.

Philip got his own instrumental theme I listened to a lot—actually, he and Vigo both got a theme, and a fight theme. Philip’s were Second Son from Infamous Second Son (I must have heard it about 8million times now) and Martial Law from the same game. Vigo’s were both from Furi, with ‘Danger’ being his main, and ‘What We Fight For’ his fight theme. I really enjoyed that both games have heavy traditional/indigenous writing, with extremely modern equipment, so you get this great mix of tradition and techno. Also, those are all just amazing songs, and incredible sound tracks in general.

For The Tower I think I mentioned in the chapter notes that I listened to the instrumental for Heather’s song ‘Dead Girl Walking’ (which I ironically did not listen to at all in the chapter I named after it). For Laurie, I also listened to this unsettling and sad track from H20 called ‘Decapitated’ that plays during that one really sweet and sad moment between Laurie and Michael at the end. Made my own extended for it.

I listened to Burn Bright by MCR for several gay makeout/sex scenes, and Twin Shadow’s Eclipse for the Dwight/Jake scene in the hatch tunnels.

I listened to Mystery Skulls’ Paralyzed for the Meg-Frank fight in Ormond. Lyrically it makes absolutely no sense but man the beat and vibe was great for the energy.

I listened to Last Stardust while writing all of Going Home and Season’s End (although I did also listen to Going Home and Season’s End during that chapter so I guess it only felt like the whole time because I cried to it so much…)

There is a Lindsey Sterling song called ‘Moon Trance’ that I listened to for the end of VS.

I think of Set It Off’s “Dancing with the Devil” as the theme song for that story in general, because if it had been a TV show I could have created the most god-tier opening (that changed as the story evolves) to it. I now every mental frame by heart.

I listened to I’m Still Here during quite a few Meg chapters.

Then I also had a lot of music for brainstorming, but that’s a lot more like character playlists than actively during-story writing. Like, It Takes Two from Into the Woods is perfect for Parkfield, and Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil gives great VigOjomo. Some of my playlist stuff got used though, because I definitely listened to like 3 Wombats songs writing MiNea chapters, especially Give Me A Try, and I listened to Greek Tragedy by them for some of the real pining Susie chapters.

I could give you a lot, but this is already a lot, so I’ll cut it here. Except to say that I do this any time I write, and if you’re looking for music, Speck (who I wrote On Deaf Ears for) send me a song called Awake at Night by Half Alive for it, and that’s a great tragedy with a lot of emotion and struggle to it song.

But yeah I totally do and I love that you do! And I’ll check out that song now 👀 for sure

[ziracona]

For the story in living memory, what characters or events held the most importance to you? Who was a main character, or who held a lot of value in the world of ‘in living memory’?

From what I can see, Quentin, Laurie, the original 4 survivors and Philip are the main characters, with feng maybe being a main character and then the other survivors as secondary characters alongside, you could also include Anna, Susie and joey within this group, with Michael and sally a little below them in screentime/importance until the end

And for antagonists the main two are the entity and Freddy, with clown and Frank/Julie being secondary antagonists, the other killers are more side characters/less important in the overall narrative

Also did you put a lot of importance on the previous groups? The characters in the lost tapes and the group with Vigo, how important are they in your world?

Lastly I want to figure how much I should hold the importance of the void and the entitys realm in general, I place the void/the realm alongside the main characters in term of development and importance to the themes and importance.

Okay! This answer glitched out and deleted when I tried to answer from my phone, so let's try laptop and hope it works. I'm gonna try to answer one at a time.

1: Who was the main character in ILM, or who held a lot of value?

In Living Memory is an ensemble cast, because I adore ensemble casts and write them probably 2/3rd of the time. It's unusual to do an ensemble cast for this genre, because it's generally impossible since your cast will drop like flies in horror, but it can be done (The Blackening is an excellent horror-comedy that has an ensemble cast, for example). So, all the survivors + a handful of killers (Michael, Joey, Susie, Anna, Sally, Philip, Frank & Julie) are all the protagonists. There are definitely a few who get more screen time than others, but they all get center stage passed around to them pretty solidly.

As for who held value, I mean, they all do, but if you mean who holds up the most backbone for the story, it would be Philip and Claudette. My sister has said 'ILM is an ensemble with no main character, but if it had one, they would be Philip & Claudette," and I think that's pretty accurate. They, and Vigo, are the most load-bearing, with Dwight, Meg, Quentin, Min, and Laurie (and maybe Jeff?) being the second most load-bearing tier, not for screen time, but as driving forces behind plot points.

2. Who is the antagonist(s)?

I'd definitely say right on the money with The Entity being The Bigger Bad, and Freddy in second as The Big Bad. I'd say after him, in descending order of importance, goes The Clown, The Trapper, The Cannibal, The Ghostface, The Doctor, and then Billy and Adiris barely rating as threats. Technically, other killers like Sally, Anna, Michael, Legion, and Lisa all take the roll of adversary at times, but I wouldn't label any of them, except maybe Michael exclusively in Act 1, as an antagonist. Legion is specifically positioned, as the only people who are a group of friends trying to protect each other and cope with hell, as a narrative foil to the survivors. They are much more foil or antihero, than antagonist in the role they fulfill. Even at his worst, when Frank is beating the shit out of Meg, he's breaking her bones like a bully, and not like a serial killer. They never really cross the line into inhuman--all the killers I'd not call antagonist (aside from Michael), never hit inhumanity. Michael is unique in that he is very inhuman when introduced, but that's actually a big part of what's sympathetic about him: he hasn't had a choice to be anything else since he was six. Michael I would call a tragic figure, rather than antagonist. Anna, Sally, and Lisa, while all blocking figures at times, I would just call complex allies, as almost none of their on-screen time is spent as an antagonizing figure.

For the story in living memory, what characters or events held the most importance to you?

3. Did you put a lot of importance on previous groups? (IE the Lost Tapes group, Vigo, etc).

Everyone who is a previous survivor definitely matters to some degree, because they're part of the motivation in fighting the entity and escaping, and protecting others from this fate. They also let the survivors escape, and choose to spare Philip when he offers up his life in Memento Mori. So, despite being largely off-screen, they hold up several major narrative beats. The Lost Tapes group in particular I would say has importance (and Alex). Sujan affected Laurie greatly. If I was able to adapt this as a tv show, I would have a break between season to give the entire story of the Lost Tapes squad as a like limited series mini-season of 4-6 episodes. I know what happened to them, and a lot about each of them, and wrote that arc mentally. It just didn't fit into ILM, so it was never put on paper. There is an allusion to it right before Oak, where Philip has a nightmare about a lot of past survivors, that ends with one looking up at him and saying "Did you know? Did you know the entire time?" -- That was Sujan, at the end of that arc, as the last man of his group standing. It's got a pretty great story but it's devastating. --So anyway, yes. The past is load-bearing, but it's not a core focus. It's secondary.

Vigo must be answered for separately than anyone else though, because he definitely was important to the entire story. Vigo is the writer/narrator of In Living Memory, so he is as important to the entire thing as Philip and Claudette. The prequel he also writes, right after his death, while losing himself in the void. He calls that Signifying Nothing, after the quote from Macbeth, but also as a reflection of his despair at his failure. But it's still specifically written out of stubborn refusal to give up and accept loss by the Entity's terms. In Living Memory is also a play on words, but it's also called that because he is literally writing down how much people matter and he loves them, to force significance on them cosmically. It's an act of defiance that starts as him refusing to leave Philip alone by at least watching him from death in the void, even if Philip will never know, and caring what happens to him, and, as Philip interacts with the survivors, extends to a record of all these people he grows to care about. ILM ends two years after the survivors escape, with the final chapters getting increasingly nonlinear and shuffled, because Vigo's connection to the world outside the realm is fading as the tear Philip created to escape heals. He runs out of the ability to see them after two years, but only lets go and accepts that after seeing the last moment with Philip, where he is sure he will be okay. The reason the story starts and ends with Philip, is because the story is Vigo making sure Philip, and then the others he grows to care for, are okay. It's a record that they made it and they suffered and lived and loved and mattered. So, Vigo is extremely core. All the timelines I write for DBD are about a specific value, with ILM being about Hope. Vigo holds that up the entire story. (It's never explicitly state the Narrator is Vigo, but if you look for it you can see a lot of it. There are even a [very] few places the Narrator switches tense from third person.)

4. How important are the void and the realm?

As for the void and the realm, I'd say you've got a good answer already. They matter for sure, because they're the setting that makes the story possible, and the story definitely has elements of mystery where the worldbuilding and exploring the how-to rules of the world are a big part of how they are able to achieve goals and face threats, but they're definitely less important than the characters and their journeys.

5. What characters or events held the most importance to you?

I would give different answers to this as a writer and as a person. I'll answer as a person, because I think I've said more about how I feel about them as a writer in the past.

This is a harder question than the others, but it's also fun. I guess to me personally, Philip meant a lot to me as a person, because I have memory issues and got to relate to a lot of what I wrote for him. I projected the most intentionally onto Claudette, although somehow Kate is the one with the closest to my personality (which actually made her my least favorite--I'm so sorry Kate. I still love her, but she triggers 'I'm in this photo and I don't like it' --Claudette just let me talk about my sexuality and anxiety). I don't think I actually have favorite characters, but those two were comforting.

Events wise, The Bottle is important to me, especially Quentin and Dwight picking up their friendship where it left off, and Philip talking to Claudette about how he feels like he's not the same person as the 'dead' Philips who he can't remember and came before him. Quentin and Dwight, because everyone has relationships that fall apart, but the potential that even when it was intentional, and ugly, and wounded you both, you could still chose the love as even more real, it's comforting. Similarly, I have dissociative amnesia from almost killing myself with anorexia as a teenager. Even though my body is find, my brain will never really be the same. Memory loss is scary. I constantly am terrified by time, and the idea I could wake up and realize it's been four years, but I don't have four years of memories. It feels like you just skipped it, looking back, but everyone is older and opportunities gone. There's a lot of anxiety about relationships, and what does it mean if someone loves you because of all these things you don't remember doing with them or being like. What are you to them, what are you to you? But handling memory loss is about being okay with accepting you never will get all your memories back, and learning to love yourself and find peace in you anyway, and people who understand that it doesn't change that it happened, just because you can't remember it. (Characters like Kinger in The Amazing Digital Circus matter a lot to me for the same reason.) And then Michael Myers. Despite having such a small pool of readers, at least one person who read it also had psychosis, and talked to me about how it was really good to get to see Michael and how he was written and got to heal and be loved. Any time someone said a character or moment was significant to them or helped them, it meant a lot to me.

Other events that meant a lot to me were Quentin's (near) death at the end of The End of the Line, Dwight's conversations in Group Therapy about his sexuality, the scene where Jeff finds Joey on the highway in Out of Darkness, and Kate and Joey's conversation in Rainbow Connection. Quentin's death scene was extremely unpleasant to write, but it was also comforting to be able to realistically think and feel through someone dying in such an awful way, to such an awful man, and knowing they were still okay. Like, even the worst thing someone could imaginably do to you, could still be beaten, even while dying. It could be okay to die, you could find a way to be okay in that moment.

For Dwight, any time a reader tells me something was meaningful to them, that means a lot to me. I had a reader comment on that one saying they'd had similar thoughts and worries about their own sexuality, and it helped to see this in Dwight. It made me glad I wrote it.

Then, with Joey, I'd gone through a very traumatic betrayal a few weeks before writing that. I put a lot of my own experience into Joey and how devastated and paranoid and lost he was, because of being left to the cops by Frank and Julie. But, I got to give Joey a happy ending I did not get. It felt kind. Somewhat similarly, the things Kate says to Joey about feeling like her art is meaningless and she's proud and stupid for thinking her art had meaning, when faced with such an awful world and such unfathomably evil people, are things I felt when my life changed that year. Kate, because of bearing the weight of being most like me, is tragically the protagonist who ends the story the least okay. But, she helped me, even if it meant she had to carry some wounds. It helped to grapple with myself that way.

Oh, and then Nea, I guess. I originally wrote In Living Memory largely for my adopted sister, Lauren, and that character was like her. A lot of her issues, and her stuff with her parents, were influenced by her life. I was trying to help the only way I knew how, writing it. And I didn't finish the book in time for her, but, Nea still marks that I loved her and I tried, for over a million words. So, she'll always be dear to me.

[ziracona]

While doing more notes and rewrites through the 20s I remember Chapter 64-66 through David’s perspective is essentially:

My friends get married

we get drunk and I’m told the big spider wants to hurt me specifically really bad

My friend dies???

Everyone’s in auto haven

Attack the spirit (she’s top 3 killers in the verse btw)

Watch the spirit fly and evicerate another killers weapon, then she leaves

Quentin’s mom hits me with a hatchet and goes to kill me for a second

Go off and kill the clown with my bestie

Run back to my 2 crushes and now fighting Freddy Krueger (another top 3 killer in the verse)

A lot of crazy stuff happens

Knocked out

Wake up to Michael Myers (also top 3) being here

Nea doesn’t have a leg, the nurse is with us now and Philip is alive

I gotta save Susie and three of her friends who want to kill me and have tried to kill me before

somehow pull them into a moving truck

YAY we got out of hell ❤️

Truck crashes

Wake up in snow

Quentin’s sad and kind of dying but Kruegers dead?

Now I have to disarm Quentin’s mom while she tries to kill me (huntress is top 4 killers in verse)

A cop almost shoots me.

If I got something wrong I will be very sad

Oh and since this is a question I’ll ask: did Vigo create the golden toolbox in your verse? (In game the golden toolbox is an Easter egg on most maps and a quote from Vigo talks about missing his better tools so it’s assumed)

Anyways I always have a ton of questions I can ask and thank you very much!

Hadfksksks David does have a top 5 experience of that night doesnt he. He’s doing everything. Man doesn’t get as much credit because he’s running tank for 8 different parties instead of running his own arc but he is such a team carry. That’s pretty much his arc. I’d add having the impulse to kiss Adam for the 2nd time and then his girl crush being unwilling to kiss him in the same 10 minutes as one he remembers too.

As for the Golden Toolbox, in my version of the world all toolboxes stem from Alex, who brought hers and made the toolbox items exist for everyone because of her skills and personality. Vigo definitely used her best toolboxes, and got a lot of use out of them, but she was the point of origin.

[ziracona]

Going to make this a whole question post because as a comment it would be a bit too small and hard with the word limit:

The seventh question! Wow this is such a lore reveal to me! Your interpretations of the trials was a lot more realistic and for me lost the perks being taught to one another because it doesn't make much sense for most of the survivors to be able to teach others, especially the aura perks, aces luck, chest perks, totem perks, endgame stuff, it's all based on perception and emotion, I could understand the exhaustion perks through training and self care, decisive strike, saboteur, diversion and other perks like that which could be an item or skill learned. You brought up Laurie being good at healing because of a perk but I honestly thought that was just because of her experience, like how I assume benedict is just crazy good at everything by this point. You asked for my interpretation so it's going to be my perception of the characters teachables and only one general perk for that final slot.

Starting with Dwight for general he'd have this is not happening as his perk, its an objective/healing based perk that rewards the user only while injured, which Dwight is injured for most of the story and he's the most objective focused of the Og 4 so that fit his style the most, likely the perk being learned once he adjusted to his head injury.

For megs general perk its definitely hope, it's the only haste perk that's a general perk and fits with adrenaline activating at the end, also the fact that she's canonically the fastest in general. It's also a chase perk which would fit meg being one of the best at chases during ILM. She could've learned this after that rough trial with frank where she really pushed herself and never gave up on Susie even while being tormented by franks bullying.

For claudette her general perk would be we’ll make it it's the biggest buff healing perk (aside from no one left behind but I'll get to that) and there's so many instances of claudette during ILM running in and pulling of healing stunts that basically no one else can do. Also highlights her empathy and nature during trials to usually go for heals and unhooks in comparison to gens, she could've learned this during chapter one while trying to heal Dwight, her trying to save tapp (I think??? It's a bit hard to remember all of this) or somewhere near the memory Jeff recalls in his drawing he makes for her.

Jakes perk would be lightweight it's a stealth/chase perk that really works well with his teachables iron will and calm spirit filling into that role of stealth but also applicable during line of sight blockers or to get away during chases. Jakes line of stuff in comparison to the other Og 4 is more efficiency and stealth so I think he fits with this perk more than anyone else, it was really going into my head he would have this when I thought it's a counter to info killers like doctor (which he already is) and also how easy it was for claudette to lose him in the woods when they walk, how quiet she says he is (also if he's quiet while running and nea is quiet while running it highlights their similarities/bond). As for when he got this I'd guess when he gives Dwight his coat cause he loses some weight :p, either that or he got it super early on.

Neas general perk would've been slippery meat she's one of two highlighted using it previously AND it's one of the few perks affected by luck (aka her goofy dad ace). The perks known for being unconventional but incredibly strong during its lifetime in the game, so having a competitive character like nea have something “toxic” and something the tryhards use just sits right in my head. She would've gotten it again after ace comforts her and they start getting really close.

Lauries was a tossup between premonition and spine chill but I'll explain why it's spine chill, number one it's a general bonus to basically every action and she'd be the naturally best at trials by this point Imo so she's got a little bonus in comparison to everyone else. Also it's a perk highlighted on mistrust and paranoia instead of perception akin to premonition, which fits Laurie a lot more in my mind. It's a heal bonus, a chase bonus, one of very few perks to bonus exit gate progression (Quentin reference?), and an info bonus which she wouldn't really use because of object of obsession one of her teachables that basically threw stealth out the window. She'd learn or get this perk after losing sujan and really being alone for a while, her abandonment and mental state being at its worst until joining the modern group.

Ace was pretty easy for me to figure out, small game makes the most sense, it's an information perk focused on totems and finding them which everyone would be good at on their own but to me ace was the kind of person in trials to get everything but gens, either focusing on chase, helping others, getting things from chests and naturally this led to him just happening to find totems a lot more than anyone else and getting a sixth sense for where the things are. He's also really perceptive and would probably be able to learn more than anyone from tapp trying to teach his perks to the modern group, he does have a pretty good friendship with tapp as the two most senior members.

Fengs perk is borrowed time, she has a whole arc on it and you explicitly show a chapter on it! So that was super easy for me to just think that was her natural fourth perk, for console during the start of ILM bill wasn't a character they had the rights to yet so his perks were under the general category and since every general perk is only one per character (as in you'll never see two general perks belonging to any one name from the lost tapes) it fits with only borrowed time making it into the story. Also don't know if you know, Laurie lost her license in the game so if she hasn't been acquired her perks are also general, so she's the first character from your story in the game to burn out in a sense, pretty odd turn of events that you were right on that one too.

David and Quentin are in an odd spot as the two perks they could have are so interchangeable, if I had to give an answer Quentin gets no one left behind until chapter 41 where he then gets resilience and vice versa for David. So starting with no one left behind and why it works for them both, its an endgame info/unhook/heal perk, Quentin uses it in chapter 31 and it's also a massive healing perk in endgame, so it works with his perk wake up! and it's kind of like a reverse fire up from krueger (krueger gets slowly stronger over the course of the match whereas Quentin gets a huge jump in ability once he sees he can help everyone get out, its like his form of adrenaline). Now why no one left behind fits David, his teachable were gonna live forever is really similar to it, giving a huge healing speed boost to helping downed survivors and giving them endurance when they get up, this really fits Davids competitive altruism, pushing his teammates that last little bit to get out and being attentive to who needs help where. Now this is only because Davids perk was updated but even during ILM wglf and nolb are two perks that boost survivor points which was pretty rare for any perks to do (I think only Dwights prove thyself also did). Along with that it's an unhook perk so it's directly similar to what feng min got, and since Quentin is so close to her I could see it going to him. For resilience its because it'd be a direct similarity to what Laurie has (which David and Quentin are the closest to her) aswell as resilience opens gates faster, and it was the kinda similar to fire up, being a small shotgun buff to everything while injured, whereas fire up is a buff to everything that gets stronger over time. Also makes a lot of sense for Quentin to get it after 41 because that's when he starts getting accustomed to being so heavily injured and he really pushes himself. It could go either way for who has what, but considering either way Quentin has a connection to min and Laurie I don't mind what he has, and Quentin, David and Laurie are a trio it makes sense they all have similar perks.

Tapp has to have premonition, he's the most perceptive of the group, the oldest from outside the realm so he'd have the knowledge of how things might go,he's cautious and wary, he's one of the fastest adjusting to the realm because of his life before, it just fits him so well to me. He would have gotten this perk almost instantly or right after joining the group and seeing them bringing Philip back.

Kate has plunderers instinct, she got so lucky on getting one of the lost tapes and it's one of the rare perks that increases odds of anything, which makes sense to me as she got to remember benedict. Kate is near several important lore things from chests the earliest one in my head being chapter 19 when claudette finds benedict bakers notes. Kate wouldve gained this perk from Vigo getting her the lost tape, similar to on deaf ears where he affects ollie getting Philips notes.

Adam was a real cross between plunderers instinct and deja vu, but kates reasoning is a bit more sound to me so I'll give him deja vu. He wouldve gotten plunderers because it links him to ace which would've really proven aces luck rubs off on people, notably ace is closest to nea and Adam so I could see it. But also ace and Adams relationship is from how strikingly different they are and having an info gen perk that gives a little bonus to one of the most objective, logical and smart members of the cast makes a lot of sense to me.

Jeff gets dark sense, mostly from the legion but I pictured it as he's seeing the killer clearly because he's one of the kindest members of the cast and sees most of the killers around him as people and is just so forgiving, it'd make sense he see straight through them and get a direct read. Either that or his mounting fear of the killers he's trying to show care for which would mean he gets this perk in the late 50s when frank beats him to death, otherwise he gets it late 30s/early 40s when he tries to sympathize with Susie and especially joey.

Lastly Jane, she gets kindred. The last person would always get kindred in my mind as sujan was the last of the lost tapes members standing. He was the last one to give up and Jane was the final piece that really kicked off into gear the characters getting out of the realm. I think I saw Jane getting kindred during chapter 45, when she agrees to become the group therapist and really step into sujans role as this empathetic figure that people feel they could talk to.

This was stupid long so sorry if it dragged at points but that was my thoughts of the characters perks from ILM! Uhhh I guess my question is: does this make sense?

Almost 100% of this is correct. Older Adult Squad needs some hot-potato on who has what, but you got it for the teens. Let me read again and make sure. I’m not totally sure, and I’d need to boot up my game to see (tended to run their in-game load outs) and in fairness, people sometimes run more than one perk during the fic, but you’re at least mostly right just from memory at the gen perks I started them with. Because (like you mentioned for Laurie) survivors are in a more realistic world. I could see how like, using a channeling skill like Dark Sense and Kindred could max out by saying like ‘four is all you physically have energy for at a time.’ I buy that. But like, once Adam shows you how to throw a rock, you know how to throw a damn rock forever. lol.

Laurie (and she alone) is consistently running 5 perks bc she earned it, but you’re correct she is 100% running Spine Chill. It’s so hard to use her perks without it. She’s just also running a 5th slot healing perk bc after 40 years she earned it.

There are several who like you suggest with Quentin, are running different perks at different times (Min definitely had Deja Vu early fic, but traded for Borrowed Time, which she has for more of the fic, for example)

For the adults I def remember offhand that don’t line up: Ace is almost always running Plunderer’s. Adam uses Small Game a lot. Kate is also very often running Plunderer’s. There’s a lot of swapping and tag-team with adult squad. IE Small Game has synergy with detective’s hunch, but it suits both Adam and Ace more. I gave it to Adam because he’s more stealth based than Ace, which you desperately need to break totems, and the tactician approach suits him. Since they frequently get trials together, Tapp can pass info to Adam with Detective’s Hunch, and then still draw agro while Adam handles this. Plunderer just synergizes too well for Ace not to use it, but to your deep credit he totally does also use Small Game.

Now the real question is why the hell is Kate running an Ace perk that has nothing to do with her own stat loadout or friend group. You’re right that she obviously is, but the real question is why?

[ziracona]

Are there any YouTube or any kind of videos at all of In living memory?

I’ve read ILM for over 5 uears and this is my 5th read, all my friends have been sick of me talking about it so much and I even have a notebook detailing the events of the first 30 chapters and how I feel about the story and characters.

TLDR; are there any ILM videos out there and if not should I make one?

That’s so sweet! It makes me very happy you’ve enjoyed it so much for so long. I’d love to see that notebook someday TuT💙 the worst part of writing fanfic vs published work is that you get percentage wise so much less information on what readers think and feel.

I got an impressive and touching amount of fan art for ILM, but for videos specifically I think other than this one I made for myself to commemorate the ending of part 1 , the only others are the deeply incredible and beloved vine compilations by the wonderful @unironically-tired one, two.1, two.2, two.3, and three. I rewatch these periodically because of how much I adore them.

I could be wrong, because less people than you might think share their work directly with the author even if they do make it, but that’s the only video content I remember. That said, I think it’s pretty wonderful that vines were the chosen format for what does exist. Meg Thomas, through a fan, vicariously finally got her wish: the ILM cast did iconic vines. All is right in the world.

And of course you’re welcome to! It would make my week. If you do, please drop me a link. : ) and thanks again for reading and for loving my fictional kids.

[ziracona]

Hello! Quick questions while I'm thinking about a chapter, is there a religious symbolism in ILM? The idea of faith being presented as this ‘angel on your shoulder’ type narrative. Where the characters ultimately are assisted by a force almost none of them know but helps them anyway. To me I caught this when I was reading Adam creating his story, it reminded me of religious texts where the god of the religion saw its followers making a story/book in honor of them. I mean Adams story is evocative of vigos role in the narrative so it holds some similarities.

Aside from that! Is there anything different from the start of ILM to the start of the game? Because from my eyes the only difference before the story starts !spoilers! Is that Vigo (and Alex) die to Philip, In comparison to the game where Vigo is the only known character to escape the realm. It reminded me of the show arcane, where a character is sent to another reality where two characters have passed away and the entire world is seemingly in a better place. I mean comparing the game where Vigo is the only known person to escape, and the story where Vigo is happy to have taken this role to assist the person he loves most, while also being one of the few to not get a happy ending. I don't want it to come off as Vigo being gone makes the world better! He helps the characters throughout the story and the more important piece is his death to Philip separates him from characters like Rin and Lisa who sacrifice their humanity for strength, because for Vigo in your story I think what mattered most to him by that point was his relationships to others and not the power he could achieve.

Uhm if I'm crazy then I've been looking into stuff too much, but if I'm not then I'm very happy I found a new and interesting set of interpretations for your work even after like 8 reads. Thank you for always answering!

Of course! Thanks as always for asking!

Okay so for part one, the religious symbolism question. Is there religious symbolism? Probably, intentionally or not. If I look at it now, I’d say the world has some strong parallels to Mik’maq religious views. Really though, there is meant to be what you want to take from it. Faith can be a beautiful or terrible thing, as can atheism, depending on how the person takes their belief and turns it towards their behavior, or even internalizes it. I don’t want to ever push a specific religious pov, but I also don’t want to ever act like I think a specific faith is incorrect. I don’t know the truth, as no one does; that’s why faith is called faith. If I write a religious character (IE Quentin, Philip, Adiris) I try to write from their pov as if what they believe is probably true, but this goes for every time I switch characters so there is no overarching faith line. I think that ILM very much supports Quentin’s ‘I just hope you believe there is something that lasts and matters in this world, even if it’s just your love for other people’ sentiment in Nearly Departed. Same for Philip’s prayer in Memento Mori. That’s how it’s meant to read. Things matter; maybe there is a big something out there and maybe not, but no matter what else is true, we matter because we happened, and we are real. Even death and memory loss, even if in another time no one remembers us, we lived, and even god cannot take that away. And we loved, and nothing can take that away either, whatever comes next, even if what comes next is nothing. It was real, and it mattered, and it cannot be undone.

Okay as for Vigo! When ILM was written, it was totally canon-compliant. But of course updates occur and rewrites happen with BHVR, and they created the tomes. There was not an intentional deviation from canon (IE even Alex had no confirmed gender when I began writing), but there is now of course a large deviation in several areas. But I like my world. Uhhh things that are different. I got a lot of lore right, but I think I was off on Lisa’s time by about 20 years. And I wrote before DBD became a multiverse, so that is different. Those are the things that immediately come to mind.

You’re very right about my Vigo. He did care more about those around him than his power. ILM-verse Vigo was a very interesting man. I have mentioned before that his goal was to beat the entity (kill it ideally, or escape the realm), and he fails, and Philip’s originally was just to stay a good person, and he sort of fails (for a while, at least from an outside perspective as he is a killer), but Philip finishes Vigo’s arc for him, and Vigo, by keeping a record of Philip and his motives and heart and the helping him find the truth again, completed Philip’s arc for him. Love those men.

Vigo and Philip have a very complex narrative setup and relationships and I would absolutely love to talk more but I’m about to be helping vend a booth so gtg for the moment! All this to say yes. It’s not Vigo being dead that makes the world better, but Vigo choosing other people and the risk that carries, over himself, does make the world much, much better. It usually does. ^u^