In honor of disability pride month, some invasive questions/comments about my cane/the fact that I'm visibly disabled, and responses I have used over the years:
Them: What happened to your leg?
Me, making uncomfortably direct eye contact: Nothing. (I have a connective tissue disorder, not a leg injury)
Them: You're too young to need a cane.
Me: You're too old to say something that stupid.
Them: You're too young to need a cane.
Me: I'm actually a hundred and forty years old, I just have a great skin care routine. I bathe in the blood of people who say stupid shit.
Them: What's with the cane?
Me, quoting The Princess Bride: It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be using them in the future.
Them: Why do you have a cane?
Me: It's for hitting people who ask stupid questions.
Them: Why do you have a cane?
Me: This is my whacking stick.
Them: What's with the cane?
Me: What cane?
Them: I hope you get better soon!
Me: I won't, thanks.
Them: I hope you feel better soon!
Me: Wouldn't that be a miracle!
Them: Get better soon!
Me: No.