Deserving | Venti x reader wanting to self harm
Summary: You’ve been feeling a bit down lately something finally sets you off but instead of harming yourself you wait for sweet lover come back.
(PS Venti gets home later then you do I couldn’t find anywhere to write that down)
Warnings: Mentions of self harm
The days are long, too long.
These past few days you’ve been feeling progressively worse. You felt undeserving of the things you have been given, undeserving of your boyfriend Venti and your friends. For some reason you can’t seem to get out of this mindset no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to shake the feeling. Then to top it off on your way to your last commission two “nice” women said that they would help you with your last commission. They looked capable enough you weren’t gonna tell them no outta spite but in the end before you could even get there they pushed you to the ground and stole your bag you didn’t even care enough to get it back.
You now walked up to your shared house in your teapot upset stressed, why can’t the world just be nice? Your chest felt heavy you dropped your sword in the to the ground in the door way tears falling from your eyes. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat but it wouldn’t go down. Why won’t it go down? ‘You don't deserve to be happy.’ That’s not true.
You know you deserve to be happy. “Its gonna be ok.” You whisper to yourself thinking about some way to feel better and calm down. Of course your thoughts brought you to harming yourself sense nothing else seemed to bring you comfort besides being near someone, being held. Especially by Venti and his calming atmosphere but he isn’t here right now so you will stay strong till he comes back.
You picked yourself up off the floor and sat on the couch humming one of Venti’s songs that he sang to you when you were upset. Just like that you heard his cheery voice in your ears.
“I’m here! And I brought back some Sticky Honey Roast and Fragrant Mashed Potato's!” You stood up walking to the door tears falling. Just as his eyes met your eager ones he knew.
“Venti..” Your voice broke as he put the bag down that he was holding and pulled you into his arms rubbing your back slowly. “ Hush now.” Venti said softly pulling you over to the couch. “ It’s ok. Thank you for waiting.”
You gripped his white button-up tightly your emotions seem to calm down enough for you to speak. “It’s been hard this w-week but I’m trying. I feel like I don’t desvere anything- ” Venti pulled you away from his shirt cupped your face his eyebrows furrowed.
“My Windblume, you deserve to be happy if anything I don’t deserve you! I’m so appreciative of you no matter what happens you always push through no matter how cruel people are to you, you still show them respect. And don’t let it change the way you see others.” Venti smiled sweetly at you bringing his forehead down to yours the sweet aroma of alcohol on his breath, “You bewitch my heart everyday with your beauty and pull and my pull my lyre stings with a simple breath.”
Just like that, you felt content. Enough to carry on.
...
“Now let’s eat this food before it gets cold!”
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A/N: Sorry I feel like this might be poorly written but it was originally meant just for my own comfort but I decided to put it out there in the hopes it could comfort anyone else who might need it <3
