#comicbookfilms

[kara-luthors]

[dailydcvillains]

“The really touching thing about this plan is you helped me devise it. When I escaped from prison, I had one thing on my mind: the end of Superman. So there I was, the first time in my life that I didn’t have a long-range, truly devious criminal scheme. And then I came up with it. With [Nuclear Man], and you gone, I’ll make a fortune rearming the world. Nobody wants war. I just want to keep the threat alive. Good night, sweet prince. Parting is... inevitable.” GENE HACKMAN AS LEX LUTHOR IN SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE (1987)

[blackwidowhub]

My fiancé was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations. Right... we’re getting married...

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014)

[eobard-thawne]

You want me to just suck it up and do this for you? You have no idea what you're really asking. You have no idea what I've been through. Every single word that I say up here, I'm reading from a script. I didn't write any of these words. I don't even know if I believe in them. I mean, I believe in God, I love God so much, but... honestly, it's... it's just how goddamn certain everyone is around here. I mean, tickets start at, what, 170 bucks, so that these people can tell you how to get to heaven? How do they know? How does anybody know? When the Bible was written, life expectancy was 30 years old. I mean, I'm not so sure you're supposed to take it literally. It also says that it's a sin to eat shrimp. What, if you're gay or if you're Gandhi, you're going to hell? I mean... And if you have sex before marriage, that's, that's not immoral. That's human. What's immoral is the guy who shoved his dick in my face. Here's the truth. Anyone who tells you they know the answers is lying. And I know, I know, I'm supposed to be this hero-idol-symbol-whatever, but I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm just as scared and confused as the rest of you. I'm done pretending, and I'm done taking any more shit. | ANNIE JANUARY/STARLIGHT IN THE BOYS (SEASON ONE)

[mcu4]

Five years ago, Thanos erased half of the population of the universe. But the people of this planet brought everyone back with the snap of a finger. The sudden return of the population provided the necessary energy for the Emergence to begin. How long do we have? Seven days.

ETERNALS (2021) dir. Chloé Zhao

[fyeahmovies]

From your secret friend. Who? I haven’t a clue. Let’s play a game, just me and you. 

The Batman (2022) dir Matt Reeves

[nodded]

ZACK SNYDER’S Justice League (2021)

[adamwatchesmovies]

Superman: Brainiac Attacks (2006)

Released in 2006, you might initially confuse Superman: Brainiac Attacks for an early installment in DC's long-running series of Direct-to-Video Animated Movies. It isn't. Not even close. The villains are not interesting, there are gaping plot holes, the story is not original. After it's over, you'll wonder “Was that it?” and yet, I didn't dislike it.

Rocketed from the dying planet of Krypton, baby Kal-El was raised by a kind, elderly couple and as an adult adopted the identity of Superman, Earth’s greatest hero (voiced by Tim Daly). When danger isn’t present, he masquerades as Clark Kent and works as a reporter alongside Lois Lane (Dana Delany). When his greatest enemies, Brainiac (Lance Henriksen) and Lex Luthor (Powers Boothe) conspire together to take down the Man of Steel, can Superman overcome the odds?

This movie tricks you. It uses the same animation style as the DC Animated Universe (prominently featured in Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series and Justice League Unlimited) so you think it's connected, and therefore has value. It isn't in continuity. You can tell from the characters' behavior. Instead of a cool, calculating villain, Lex Luthor is a buffoon. A coward and fan of bad jokes, no one would ever describe him as a threat. Brainiac? Little more than a generic alien invader who wants to destroy stuff. Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen (David Kaufman(, and Superman fare a bit better because they have moments here and there where their personalities shine through but all have forehead-slappingly bad moments.

“Hey! Come on now.” Lex Luthor’s been kind of a bumbling supervillain before. Even the darkest comic book characters have had their shares of lighter storylines. Can’t you let that go?” Fine. I’ll humor you. Maybe this is destined for small children instead of teens and young adults. It's still a bad story with big plot holes. When Brainiac and Luthor ally themselves, the alien takes control of a satellite orbiting earth and reconfigures it into a new body. Do satellites normally contain kilometer-long metal tentacles, rocket boosters to allow them to fly around, mechanical hands, and an outer shell made to survive Superman's punches? I can't discuss in detail the portals to other dimensions that can open up anytime, anywhere or the dozens of buildings that are either always empty or contributed to a monstrous body count during the film's climax - that would give away the ending - but you see what I'm getting at.

There are a few moments here and there fans of the character will find cool. There's an interesting twist halfway through that deals with Superman and Lois Lane. The initial battle between Brainiac and Superman is exciting. If you look hard, you'll find some neat bits of dialogue. I'm trying, guys. Ultimately, Superman: Brainiac Attacks does not feel like a movie. Not even a direct-to-video movie. It's a bad episode of the Superman Animated Series, made worse by the fact that it isn't actually part of the series. (On DVD, April 12, 2015)