#comix rants

[webcomixwastaken]

ayo ya girl finally got covid

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[webcomixwastaken]

So I just learned that there is a significant amount of fanfic readers who withhold comments and kudos until a WIP is completely finished because they want to "make sure" that it's worth their approval.

As a writer, this floors me. Because... this is how you kill a fic. I feel like I sound like a broken record here because this has been repeated on the internet for years, and years, and years: feedback and encouragement fuels your fanfiction. It takes hours to write what you read in minutes. Writing is a craft that involves gestating, drafting, revising, editing... and in a good chunk of cases, sending to betas, waiting for betas, absorbing beta feedback and then revising and editing all over again. You know what you get when you don’t support your fic writer? Unfinished stories. Which is ironic because some of these “I’m reluctant to kudos” readers cite WIP abandonment issues as the cause?? But writers interpret silence as “Oh, people don’t like this. People don’t want this. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing it. Maybe I suck, actually.” And with those seeds sown, they’ll give up what used to excite them.

Isn't that sad? Yes. Yes it is.

"You should be writing for yourself, for the art!" I know. I do. I have hundreds of thousands of words that have seen very few eyes other than mine -- 2 polished novels of which one has been shelved after fighting in the query trenches and the other still eking it out, 1 hot mess of a first draft awaiting cleanup before it too gets rejected by a bunch of professionals, a couple of WIPs in varying degrees of progress that I do intend to return to and finish, even more than I reached 50k+ words but have decided not to return to, dozens of short stories. All within the past decade and I consider myself slow compared to my peers. And this doesn't even count my fanfic which adds at least 400k+ more words to the pile and can’t (since I post to ao3) be monetised or published traditionally. Every paragraph is already a passion project.

Also, when I see a strong sub-to-hits ratio that doesn't match the kudos-to-hits, I know that people are interested but for some unfathomable reason, avoid actual interaction. Oh, so are we just a statistic to you? Yeah, because you choose to be. Commenting turns you into a person we get to interact with and imagine when we write the next installment. I absolutely have usernames and DPs in mind when I write and look out for them in the comments when I update. If you comment, we will quite literally be writing for you.

For free and during precious leisure time, may I add.

There has been exactly ONE time where I truly regretted my comment+kudos but a single unusual instance isn’t going to turn me into a snob. Even fics where I’ve lost interest or realised it’s going a direction I don’t really care for, I often click that kudos button because a) I know the effort it took to write this and b) ANONYMOUS KUDOS IS AN OPTION. Another bizarre reasoning I saw was “it’s still my username if I’m logged in”... so log out! Or open incognito mode! Also, the point of a username/online account is that you’re not using your actual identity, but one you’ve made up? Social media has blurred this but I don’t think your ao3 account needs to be an ultra-serious extension of yourself. Like, it’s the internet. Not real life. (god am I revealing myself as an old cringeass millennial?) 

Also, hate to break it to you -- people are paying less attention than you think. I have to tell myself this all the time. Unless you’re like, Naomi Novik, people probably aren’t clocking your handle crammed alongside chickennugget47 and superhomestuckywholockcrossing (wow I really am dating myself with this)

Anyway. I’m not going to demand you kudos or comment. But just adding to the over-exposed, oft-repeated, and old-as-fuck fandom discourse that doing so almost always benefits both reader and writer than no. So seriously consider it, please.

[webcomixwastaken]

ok so what drives me up the wall is that there is so much diaspora who will like... jump on ANYTHING that purports to be giving power to poc without realising that it actually does harm or at least pisses off the people who still live over here. and I'm not blaming them; I truly believe the hunger they have to be seen and heard but it's frustrating when we're stepped upon by the manipulative entitled to snag a piece of that capitalist status quo pie and nobody sees it because ~RePrEsEnTaTiOn~ right?

between that stupid salon piece about k-dramas finally teaching girls that Asian dudes can be hot, actually, and that obnoxious girlboss Lulu fucking Wang's godforsaken Expats set (may Nicole Kidman NEVER COME BACK to finish filming your awful show you awful person!!) I haaaaaaaaaaate it so much and I want to S C R E M

and I get scared

because I am kinda trying to break into a western-centric field here

so most of them will never fully understand my pov (like I will never fully understand theirs, anyway, but I have actually read a lot of AsAm shame/angst literature since I was a kid and doubt if there's as much literature on/from here in English... I hope we're at the stage where people can stop writing about how embarrassed they were when they opened their lunchboxes in primary school... but idk! I'm not one of you!)

It really worries me if the west is interested at all in my voice all the way across the planet here when they're happily picking up stories that STILL frame my hometown as an exotic backdrop for rich foreigners to play in or when they steal our extremely recent events whose wounds are still gushing with pus and blood for a starcrossed lovers angle (forcing myself to hold out complete judgement for this one but if it even has a tiny hint of both sides-ing the issue oh you KNOW the HKers are going to bring their wrath upon this author but... they won't even know or care because they're not writing for us.)

because when I think about it

I really

don't

think

so

nobody cares about us. nobody cares about what we think as long as it sells in the west.

[webcomixwastaken]

Don't want to hear people ridiculing our wearing of masks. Only 2 people have died in HK despite our close proxmitiy to China (including a refusal by the gov to close borders), general close quarters within the city, and lack of support from authorities. Why? Because people here are going above and beyond to be careful. Maybe the people who grew up in an individual-focused culture will never comprehend this, but mask wearing is not to PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THE VIRUS, but to STOP SPREADING it if you turn out to be an asymptomatic carrier, which we here all are absolutely capable of being since we are a major thoroughfare for those moving internationally to and from mainland China, especially as the news officially broke right before Chinese New Year - the holiday where millions move around the nation! We are ready to believe and accept that maybe, just maybe, WE are already infected and even though WE will be okay, there are those in our community who WON'T.

You know when I worry about this, I'm not really worried if I will get it. If I get it, the next month will be supremely annoying and frustrating but ultimately I'm likely to "survive" and move on. I'm worried about my PARENTS who are both 60+. I'm worried about my STUDENTS who have been off school for a month and whose state of being run the gamut of “parents have effectively put me under house arrest and I can’t even walk outside” to “I don’t ever wear a mask or wash my hands because my privileged expat parents for some reason think the virus will skip my white skin”*. Whenever my nose gets just a bit watery (because we’re smack in the middle of allergy season too), my throat tickles a little bit or my head feels a bit warm, my mind kicks into overdrive not for fear of myself, but of the horror that I may have been sprinkling drips of virus as I've moved around the city. That cafe in Admiralty, the restaurant in North Point, my own apartment where a dog and roommate live too. My friends, parents and colleagues. My students who don't tell us where they go on vacation until AFTER the kids leave.**

Also, 2-ply+ masks ARE effective in containing the virus because it isn't AIRBORNE it is WATERBORNE via respiratory droplets. So the filter catches the liquid and virus, and the other layer outside protects it from touching other surfaces. Someone tell Justin McElroy please because I'd like to continue liking the man and his content but if he and other western media personalities keep pushing this smug, condescending line I am going to explode. Social media claims of concern and care is usually such utter bullshit. You don’t care about China, Hong Kong, South Korea, Japan... you just like the projection of this image that you’re ~right~ and ~smart~ (even though you are NOT).

WE WEAR THE MASK AND WASH OUR HANDS AND STAY AT HOME AND MONITOR OUR SYMPTOMS. MASK WEARING ISN’T A SIGN OF NARCISSISM; YOUR REFUSAL TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT’S A COMMUNITY MINDSET AND WE’RE TAKING IT UPON OURSELVES TO BE THE BARRIER AND NOT JUST FOR THOSE WHO CAN’T DO SO, BUT THOSE WHO ALSO JUST WON’T DO SO. God you’re so lucky.

*and what makes me privately very angry about this is yes, most likely you won’t since the society and lifestyle you keep means that you isolate yourself from regular Hong Kongers/Chinese people already, and I hate the fact that in the future you will brag how you “knew” it was “nothing to worry about” since you don’t care/consider the fact that you were protected by others taking the hits for you. Seriously, it’s exactly like anti-vaxxers. **Yep, a family conveniently didn’t tell us that they had gone on a last minute trip to Japan until their child strolled into my classroom the day after they came back... and mom insists that sending him work to do at home is “too much” WELL WHY DID YOU GO ON A RANDOM VACATION (to a country hit pretty bad by the virus too) IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, THEN?! God, the utter obtuse naivete of wealthy people...

[webcomixwastaken]

just fyi, if you find a mild joke that lasts for about 3 sentences within my 90k+ word fanfic that’s been finished for over a year now unfunny, you are welcome to just stop reading. leaving a comment telling me that it has ruined the entire fic for you isn’t going to do anything but make me annoyed enough to write a short tumblr post about it then go back to my life.

[webcomixwastaken]

Yesterday was my “STUDENTS, AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH” post (since hidden because I realise that it had way too many specific details that might get pinpointed to the exact school), and today is my “PARENTS, AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH” post.

PARENTS, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHH

[webcomixwastaken]

I’m getting some real emotional fatigue from the protests. Because China’s now doubled down on an attrition strategy, revealing their not-so-hidden hand of not caring at all about the state of the city. I’ve always suspected this; I’ll bet Beijing has wanted to “put HK in its place” for while. They’ll gladly gun the kids down. They don’t have much to lose from it anymore. And they know, just like the protesters also know, that in the long run they will win and we will die.

It sounds like hyperbole but meaning that our way of life will die, our ideals and what formed HK identity that was shaped so much by both pre and post-WWII, but mostly post because of the flood of refugees from Big 6 in the 50s and 60s seeking safety and food under the shade of Lion Rock. If China has its way, and it probably will, history will be pushed aside and rewritten to forget these things. They’re already nitpicking at weird details like our use of English -- you’ve been back to China for 20 years now, why haven’t you renounced the 150+ you spent under British rule?! Not saying anything how 80% of my current primary students speak Mandarin over Canto. Go watch Ten Years, it’s on Netflix now. 

We don’t remember our colonisers as fondly as you think we do -- in fact, the young age of protesters out in the streets means that most of them barely have any memories of the Brits. A friend I sheltered on Aug 5th after he was teargassed a few blocks away from my apartment was born AFTER the handover, for example. They have no nostalgia goggles to speak of at all. They are fighting for THEMSELVES.

And they’re exhausted. Some crossed a line the other day but when I peer into my heart I find something more akin to compassionate pity and apologies that they have been stretched so thin and so desperately that it’s come to this. But they are literally being beaten up week after week after week, their patience, grief and fear has turned into rage. There’s a girl permanently blinded and a guy whose teeth broke. Three suicides if not more? How you gonna say that they’re being PAID for this shit?!

Oh yeah, those “leftist” Twits who point at the American flags (which make up like 3% of the crowd of thousands and is NOT a leading tactic of the protest whatsoever. they’re often just kind of ignored) and whining foreign influence are just as tiring because a) you ain’t never been here ya numbnuts, your opinions are baseless and demonstrate nothing but an acute misunderstanding of actual HK mindset and b) we don’t want them here either and the half-handful of folk waving them about don’t know shit about America other than “hey, they’re a powerful country let’s pander to them”. Seriously, do you think that if they had even a smidgen of clarity about the current US government that they would even bother? A choice moment is our Great Field Commander (of french fries and loud shirts) Hong Kong Hermit telling the literal TWO Proud Boys trying to ingratiate themselves into our affairs to fuck right off. More than anything, these stupid hot takes are free fuel for wumao to retweet and sow more discord and confusion. I fuckin hate it. 

Why is Nationalism a thing at all. It’s the dumbest ideology in the world with zero evidence ever to back it up EVER. You see it happening here. You see it happening there. And over there, too. UGH.

And on a non-political note, the two books I’ve tried to start reading this month are just boring/hint at a pedophilic subplot that if depicted romantically I will immediately NOPE right out of (I bought it only because it was incredibly cheap at book fair and the title amused me). Maybe I just need to mark as DNF and reserve another Peter Mayle from the library because I’d rather be gorging on cheese in the French countryside than dealing with all this

[webcomixwastaken]

I’ve followed Lindsay Ellis's videos on YouTube for 10+ years. Even back in the dark NC days I was always struck at how she deftly combined thoughtfulness with humour and cleverness. Even with the bits that didn't age well -- not because of who she was as a person but because 2010 was SUCH a different time, genuinely, I can recall "jokes" and "facts" that my friends and I would say that none of us would even consider now -- she definitely stood out amongst her colleagues as someone with great talent and perceptiveness.

So discovering that she's no longer going to update her channel makes me say: GOOD! FOR!! HER!!! She deserves to walk away from this black hole of awfulness! She doesn't need to be screamed at all the time anymore!! Good for her!! She is free!!

I watched the Raya Twitter meltdown happen in real time and it was the most ridiculous shit I've ever witnessed. So much bad faith reading, so much blood in the water for the sharks to chase after. Even my own Twitter moots (from writing and book twt because that’s where I hang out on that site) were furious about The Tweet, but as I went down my feed I realised that a ridiculous game of telephone was going on. They were upset about a very legitimate issue but it wasn’t... at ALL what she was talking about. I know it’s unhelpful to say “if you watch her videos...” to get people to understand that she was talking from a craft/structure perspective or that her tone is always very snarky and dry since that’s not what Twitter is interested in. Twitter is where nuance goes to die.

From the moment it was announced, I thought that Raya and the Last Dragon looked mediocre at best and yes, derivative. But that's not bad, necessarily? People are always comparing things, and that's even how a lot of marketing works! In pitching or querying agents, you're often asked, nay, expected to provide comparative titles to show that you understand your audience. So when she compared a well known western-helmed Asian-influenced fantasy TV show to a new big name western-helmed Asian-influenced fantasy film why... are we... so shocked and angry? Personally, I feel like any racism involved in The Tweet is symptomatic of the system, how the west perceives and judges eastern stories, not Lindsay’s character.

And honestly? Since I’m not diaspora I do not give much of a shit for representation the same way overseas kids do. Like Lindsay pointed out, we are not monolith so I don’t like being told that something is an ~Asian~ universal theme. We are the biggest continent in the world and even my tiny ass city of Hong Kong has an ENORMOUS gulf of opinions of what defines us?? So as an Asian in Asia, my opinion of “wow, Asian rep in western culture” is mostly indifference with a side helping of annoying. Because it’s often reductive and token and I don’t see myself in them at all. And in these big budget animated films... I’m usually not very excited with how we’re depicted either. Do you really have to draw our eyes like that? I remember looking in the mirror as a kid and thinking, “What the heck are white people on about? My eyes are big and round. Most of my friends don't have tiny eyes either.”

Also, DISNEY DON’T NEED MY MONEY! It’s such a laugh that they made this movie claiming to uplift SE Asian narratives and culture and it wasn't even available in many of those countries. However, I can't say anything else because I'm not SE Asian. But that’s it exactly, I don’t have a dog in this fight. So I didn’t say anything!!

Sometimes I really think that people need to realise that you don't need to put out every single opinion you have on the internet. In fact, I remember thinking “oh no, Lindsay, please, just stop tweeting” but it was a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation. If she tried to apologise, she was a whinging backpedalling phony. If she stayed silent, she is rotten to the core and doubling down on racism! If she explained herself, which she tried to do, it would just be more fuel to the bonfire of dogpiling and threats and tearing apart every shred of nuance that could possibly still exist on Twitter. And she KEPT on getting dogpiled and threatened and even under today's goddamn post announcing that there will be no more videos, she's STILL being pelted with petty, stupid attacks by the faceless keyboard warriors. Oh my god, stop and SHUT UP, you won.

So good for her that she's left, and good for her that she refuses to apologise because she doesn’t have to. It would not have been sincere, and she really didn’t do anything wrong. I really hope she continues to host Musicalsplaining with Kaveh because I dearly love the podcast, and maybe she's still got a contract with PBS Storied, but if she doesn't do either of those, it's absolutely in her rights to do so. She doesn't owe us anything. Perhaps she'll be able to devote her time to writing more books, or perhaps she'll just disappear from the internet forever and again... deserved! Whatever she wants! Good for her!!

Godspeed Lindsay Ellis, you are a genuine human being deserving of peace and I earnestly hope you get some after putting so much of yourself on the chopping block for nothing else but our entertainment. I'll always support you.