#commando bridge

[going-astronuts]

*comms rustling* Hello, this is your Captain speaking. Due to an emergency call from a civilian passenger ship we will enter a Stargate. Entry in 30. Secure yourself and read instructions. (was that good?

*muffled response*

Yeah. Yeah got it- oh. I forgot to turn the dang thing off) *louder again* Captain out.

[going-astronuts]

Bridge Records Stardate: 12/3

Captain: I feel like I’m having a midlife crisis.

Navigation Officer: Sir you are in your twenties.

Captain: Well then this is the middle of my life.

*uneasy silence*

Communication Officer: Captain Idris, with all due respect I don’t think that’s how it works.

[going-astronuts]

Bridge Records Stardate: 11/27

Medical Officer: Howdy

Captain: Hi. Did you just say-

Medical Officer: Shuddup. Have you taken your break.

Captain: What?

Medical Officer: Your break, the break we are supposed to take every day, you are supposed to take your break. Remember?

Captain: OHHHhh the Break. Yeah I sure did. Hey did you know I can’t drive?

Medical Officer: Stop deflecting- wait what?

Captain: I drove once when I was twelve but I don’t think that counts.It was bad.

Medical Officer: Are you s***ing me? You command a starship but can’t drive? What’s wrong with you?!?

Captain: I fell down the stairs as a toddler. Twice.

Medical Officer: Ok. Okay. Fine.

Medical Officer: You’re still taking your dang break.

[going-astronuts]

*unusually calm* Hello crew, this is your Captain speaking. I have an announcement to make. I lived.

[going-astronuts]

From: Bridge, Cringle

To: Medical Dep., Bennard

Private Comms This is a private transmission.

Cringle: Beans

Bennard: Chris what in the everloving fuck do you want from me.

Cringle: Just wanted to chat :}

Bennard: I’m going to have a fucking aneurysm. Is something wrong.

Cringle: Nahhh why you so grumpy? Whahappen?

Bennard: Good because if you lied to me I’m asleep for the next 24 h. We don’t need to chat I see you and your fucking wet puppy eyes every day when I’m on duty and when you want to hang out. It’s shift’s end and I’m. Going. To. Sleep.

Cringle: Oh hi long shitty day syndrome I’ve missed you <3

Bennard: You are the main cause of my suffering.

Bennard has left the Comm.

[going-astronuts]

From: Bridge, Navigation Officer

To: Medical Dep., Medical Officer

Went to look after the Captain and he was completely out of it??? Is he ok/ do you know about this?

From: Medical Dep., Medical Officer

To: Bridge, Navigation Officer

He’s ok, only feverish and pumped with meds. But I thought we said we‘d stay away from sick people! I can’t believe you did this. At least don’t let him out, I’m worried he‘d crack his skull open somehow.

Don’t come to me wailing though when you catch it.