“When I was told that you said you couldn’t do commitment, the first thing I thought was: irony. The last flings I’ve had since my ex, haven’t lasted long due to me being afraid of commitment and simply me, just running away. And I’m going to put my cards on the table, I thought about it with you. I thought about running, I thought about not wanting to be hurt again, I thought about not wanting to hurt you, I thought about stepping back and saving us both from pain. But I realised that I’m getting ahead of myself, I’m assuming a future that isn’t preordained. So I decided to just let it be? I decided that I would just try and take it in strides, because it is when I overthink, that I run and “can’t commit.” So sure, I can’t turn off my thoughts but I can, not act on it. And I like you. A lot. There’s a lot you don’t know about me, a lot of not very nice things, so for me to want to go out, and leave the house and not see it as a challenge of great difficulty but just seeing you- that’s a big change. And that’s why I saw such irony when I got told, what was on your mind. The one time I feel like I may be ready, or atleast try to? The other person isn’t. Because it appears we are a lot more alike than I thought. And I don’t know if you think this way, but when I do run and the other person doesn’t say anything. It gives me validation that I did the right thing, like oh okay good, they didn’t care so my over active mind was right. But this message is doing the opposite. It sucks to get hurt, I know. You never thought that person would hurt you, and then when they do, how can you expect better from anyone else? But life is short and sometimes you’re hurting yourself more by not trying and depriving yourself of a chance to be happy. So I just wanted to send this to say I get you and I am with you. And if you not wanting to commit is due to me as a person? Then that’s completely fine, but if it’s due to you being scared to commit, and scared to be happy? Then be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to take things one step at a time instead of running away due to fear. I am here for you and we can do this.”
