Characters: Gender Neutral!Reader, Abed Nadir, Annie Edison, Jeff Winger, Troy Barnes, Shirley Bennett, Unnamed girl in magenta, Joey/White Abed/Wabed.
Warnings: profanity
A/N: Before we begin, I want to thank you in advance for reading. The title has nothing to do with the fic. It is just a random song title from my personal love songs playlist. Also, I know that this reader may not be just as relatable as many would like, but they are gender neutral. They say write what you know and I know emotionally overwhelmed but detached, haha. Also, if you could tell me if there is not enough space between the sections, that would be great. I am working on a chromebook, so it looks a little different on my end. In addition, I will be making edits if I find errors in this fic in the future. Onward and, as usual, constructive critique is welcomed as I am a masochist but not a human carpet. Thank you and I am sending you all love !!
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Truthfully, you’d never been one to express how you felt to others. It applied to everyone. Family, friends, and romantic interests for sure. It wasn’t as if you felt nothing for these people; Quite the opposite, actually. You’d argue you felt more than you should. It was intimidating and made you feel as if you were intruding on their peace. It wasn’t their responsibility to take on your emotions; good or bad. Besides, your poker face was absolute garbage. It gave well enough away as it was.
This led you to where you were right now. Jaw clenched as Jeff gave the beautiful brunette in magenta advice on how to approach the object of your affections, Abed Nadir.
“I know that guy’s M.O and I think it’s better if you introduce yourself.”
Your heart all but dropped through the floor. The green-eyed monster reared its ugly head and you couldn’t help the daggers that shot in the poor girl’s direction. It wasn’t her fault. You, of course, understood the appeal. The tall, adorable, stoic film nerd with the puppy-dog eyes who looked amazing in mustard yellow. Well- looked amazing in any color, really- How could one not feel some sort of attraction toward him? And why did you have to be one of these people? You felt the frustration building as she sauntered over to the pool table. This wasn’t a rare occurrence, to be honest.
As if witnessing Jeff in all his... glory... wasn’t bad enough. Now you had to watch as yet another stunning woman shoots her shot with your crush? God, ‘crush’. It sounds so stupid just hearing it. So immature.
Needless to say, you were beginning to think that pool table was cursed.
“Are you alright, Y/N? If looks could kill-,” Annie begins before being cut off by White Abed- Wabed, as you’ve personally dubbed him- as he took a seat next to you.
“Man, why couldn’t I be brown Joey?” You couldn’t help the redirection of your glare toward the sweater-clad man. “His name is Abed, Jackass.” You spat before you could stop yourself. He put his arms up in mock surrender. Annie’s gaze turns back to you, wide-eyed.
You also happened to pull Jeff’s attention at your words, also a little wide-eyed, but seemingly out of entertainment than anything else. “Woah there, tiger. Retract the claws!” he says through a chuckle.
“Seriously, YN. Are you alright? Did something happen?” Annie asks yet again. You sneak a look at Abed, the girl seemingly vanished in the time you’d looked away. A wave of guilt begins to form. Jeff, oh so observant of others all of a sudden, takes notice of your glance in his direction. His face shifts through what looks like the stages of grief before a grin breaks out on his face. He couldn’t have possibly figured it out so quick, could he?
“No way!” he starts. You try to keep a neutral expression, but the blood rushes to your cheeks uninhibited. Oh, he’s going to have a field-day with this one.
“What? What is it?” Annie inquires, still not having caught on.
“NO WAY!” Jeff says again, his eyes not once leaving your face as you give up trying to pretend. You sigh.
Annie glances between the two of you, her voice raising in pitch slightly. “What is it?! What am I missing?!”
By this point, Abed is looking in the direction of the commotion, clearly curious.
Wabed decides it’s his moment to shine. “I think your friend here likes Mr. ‘Abed’ over there.” He says, giving a short nod in the direction of the pool table. Annie gasps, looking at you excitedly. You’ve managed to make direct eye contact with Abed, however. Having noticed Wabed’s attention on him, he begins to make his way over. Panic starts to spread through you and you can’t help but feel like he's heard everything the others are saying. You jump up before making a break for the door. Fuck this.
You hear Annie call after you as you speed walk your way toward the exit. You don’t look back and, since you don’t have any other classes that day, you decide to head home before things escalate any further.
-
As much as you dreaded it, you knew you couldn’t avoid Jeff and Annie forever... Or Abed for that matter. You also couldn’t help but wonder if anyone had slipped up. Annie had as good of a poker face as you did, Jeff could go either way, and Wabed sure as hell had no loyalty to you.
You had sent Annie a myriad of texts only to be met with silence and Jeff was never one to respond to your texts immediately anyway which was strange considering he was always on his phone. All you could do was stress over the situation as the night progressed. As you approached the study room, you could see the back of Jeff’s head. Pulling open the door, you could see everyone except Troy and Abed in their seats.
“Y/N!” Annie yelped as you walked in; You stopped in your tracks. Of course. Of fucking course. “You told, didn’t you.” You deadpanned. She looked like a dear in the headlights.
Jeff craned his neck around to see you, a smirk taking over his face.
“She didn’t even last five minutes- OW!” He was cut off by Annie hitting his arm. “It wasn’t like that and you know it! You have to believe me, Y/N-” She argued- pleaded, really.
Shirley, bless her oblivious heart, interjected.
“Ooooh, told who what?” She lilted as she clutched the top of her purse, a smile on her face at the prospect of new gossip. You contemplated skipping this study session, maybe hiding near the fire exits.
Your luck, however, must have just run out as you heard the chatter of Troy. You turned around, now face to face with Abed as he opened the door to the study room. You couldn’t bring yourself to move.
“Hi,” You said, just above a whisper. A small smile tugged at the sides of his mouth as he echoed you. He turned his head to look at Troy, giving a short nod. Troy raised his eyebrows briefly, looking at you with a knowing grin before walking over to his seat. So he knows too, then. Great.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Abed asked. You looked behind you, seeing Annie and Troy watching with anticipation, Jeff with mild intrigue. You couldn’t help the shaky sigh that escaped you as you nodded. “Um, Yeah- Yeah, sure. Let’s go.” You attempted to sound somewhat confident as you both made your way out of the study room.
There was a silence between you as you walked aimlessly through the hall. Although normally comfortable, this one seemed tension filled; At least on your end as you considered denying what you know he’s already heard. You decided to throw caution to the wind. Besides, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him. “So, Annie told you then.” You uttered as you clutched the strap of your bag with both hands, finally looking in his direction. He nodded before stopping. You stopped just a few steps after before turning around to face him.
“Look,” You readied yourself for the rejection by trying to beat him to it, as analyzing his face had yet to yield any information. “, You don’t have to reciprocate, and I am sorry if it makes you uncomfortable-” You are interrupted.
“I like you too, Y/N.” He stated curtly. You don’t think you heard him correctly, asking for him to repeat himself. “I’ve liked you for a while.” He clarifies.
“And Troy knew?” You ask, your head tilting as you processed what you were hearing. Your confusion softens into a flutter in your chest. He nods before responding.
“I told him last month. And then he accidentally told Annie.” Suddenly it made sense. You sigh, “So that’s why she told you then?” You ask rhetorically, chuckling as you decided to forgive her... This time. You realize that the ball in now in your court; Your golden opportunity has presented itself and, although your nerves were still in overdrive, made your move.
“Would you maybe... want to hang out? Not just as friends, of course.” You ask, shakily as you stood awaiting his response. He smiles slightly, nodding. “How about this weekend?” He prompts. You can’t help the smile that takes over your face, a blush likely present as well, but you didn’t want to think about it.
“That sounds great!” You enthuse as you let out the breath you had been holding since you asked.
“Cool... Cool, cool, cool,” He says. It is silent for a moment before he extends his arm in the direction of the study room. “After you.” Abed adds before you both begin to make your way back to the study room.
Now you’d just have to deal with telling everyone else, though you figured you’d cross that bridge when you got to it.
Hey guys! Would you mind writing headcannons for Jeff and/or Abed dating a reader who’s a short ballet dancer who loves to show off and dance for them? Gender pronouns are she/her. Please let me know if something needs to be changed. Thank you!
sorry this took so long! hope you like it <3
Jeff & Abed x ballerina reader
Jeff
- jeff probably only cared about ballet periodically because he thinks that hot chicks do ballet. after meeting you he knows that he was right
- he's very supportive and goes to every one of your ballet shows if he can. partially because he really enjoys the variety of costumes you put on
- enjoys cuddling with you after your ballet sessions
- sometimes he lifts you up to his eye level after performances and gives you kisses
- if you both have a fight one day he may go crazy and try to learn ballet just to be like "heh this is so easy"
Abed
- he probably has never really given a second thought about ballet, but after you dance for him he's mesmerised by your moves and is able to appreciate the hard work that goes into the craft
- he'd ask a lot of questions about ballet since he doesn't know much about it. like the history of ballet or the specific movements
- abed would watch every ballerina movie there is like Black Swan and try to talk to you about them
- maybe you could be the ballerina side kick when you're in the Dreamatorium with him (and troy)
- he wouldn't try out ballet though unless maybe his favorite character in cougar town gets into it. then he'd ask you to teach him lol
Summary: Set during S2xEp6 "Epidemiology." You finally get the chance to talk to the cute boy in your anthropology class but when an infectious disease starts turning people into zombies, things go awry.
Warnings: Zombies, Mentions of roofies (nothing that's not in the episode), More "Y/N" than I usually try to include! I'm sorry!
Word Count: 4.7K
A/N: 1) This is minimally edited because I wanted to get it out before Halloween so I'll probably go back in later and edit it more. 2) This does include references to the TV show "Firefly." Hopefully, you've seen it. 3) I changed the episode a smidge so it would fit my story.
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Abba played loudly over the speakers of the multipurpose room, interrupted by the dean’s occasional voice memo. The room was decked out in Halloween decor for the holiday and you found yourself talking to one of your friends from your statistics class until she excused herself to grab some food from the snack table.
You sipped your little glass of punch to make yourself seem a little less awkwardly alone, humming along to “Mamma Mia” while you scanned the room for someone else that you knew to make conversation with. Soon, though, a tall person in a black costume and a bike helmet appeared in front of you, startling you and making you jump.
The man slid the visor up and you immediately recognized him from your anthropology class. “Oh, hi Abed!” You greeted him with a smile. You and Abed had only spoken a few times but he had always seemed nice enough. In fact, you had secretly found yourself attracted to the man since the beginning of the semester, infatuated with his ability to be unapologetically himself.
“Hi, Y/N,” he said, pointing to your body, “I like your costume. Are you Zoe Washburne?”
Your eyes widened in surprise, “Y-yeah! You watch Firefly?” You asked in amazement.
He nodded, “Yep. Anything Joss Whedon directs is worth a watch but Firefly was a masterpiece.”
A satisfied laugh left your lips and you gestured largely with your hands, “Yes! I can’t believe they cancelled it!”
“Me neither. The storyline was solid, the characters had depth, and the production value was great, especially for not being a crazy high budget show,” Abed prattled off in agreement.
You nodded again, “It never got the appreciation it deserved. Honestly, I didn’t think anybody was going to get the costume reference.”
“I think your costume is spot on,” Abed complimented, looking you up and down one more time to further inspect your costume, “Especially the vest. The necklace looks accurate too.”
Your fingers went to play with the cord around your neck and you blushed, “Thank you. I put it together for a convention a few months ago and tried to make it as authentic as possible. I like your costume a lot too.” You gestured to Abed’s black costume, “Alien?”
“Mhm. My best friend Troy was supposed to be a robot but he called me a nerd and then switched his costume to a vampire,” Abed explained, pointing across the room to Troy, who you were also acquaintances with. You watched with a cringe visible on your face as Troy, clad only in pants and… was that toilet paper?, approach a group of girls with an absurd amount of swagger in his body language.
You snorted and looked back to Abed, “Is he wearing toilet paper?”
Abed’s lips twisted in thought and evaluation and he cocked his head, “I think so. I think that’s also a toilet seat cover around his neck.”
“Ew,” you were shocked that Troy thought a toilet paper and seat cover costume would work when attracting girls. Even with his impeccable abs, toilet-related items were not the preferred clothing options. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think he’s going to get far with trying to hit on girls... “
Abed shrugged, “He’s my best friend. I don’t want him to strike out. I just wonder what he meant by calling me a nerd. He’s never called me that before - but it almost sounded like he meant it like a negative thing.” You looked over to see Abed look both somehow slightly bothered by this but also unbothered?
You nudged Abed’s arm and gave him a reassuring smile, “I think you found better company than he will,” you said with a teasing tone, watching from a distance as Troy got shot down yet again, “Besides, nerds have more fun anyways.”
Abed looked off to the side, as if visually having a mental conversation with himself for a brief moment. Then he looked back up to you with a hint of a smile on his lips and a glint in his eye. His whole tone changed when he invited you, “Do you want to go get some candy from the snack bar?”
The invitation took you off guard but flirtatious butterflies erupted in your stomach nonetheless. “Yeah, sure!” You nodded excitedly with a smile, taking a step to walk beside Abed.
“Cool,” Abed said, “Cool, cool, cool.”
**
A zombie apocalypse. Of course, a zombie apocalypse would start at Greendale.
People started getting sick from the rations the dean ordered and soon the entire party was in disarray. Thankfully, you hadn’t eaten any, apparently being one of the few who didn’t find the trays of “taco meat” appetizing (which surprised you because it clearly didn’t look fresh enough for safe consumption).
At first, it didn’t seem that bad. Pierce had collapsed from a supposed drug overdose (or at least that was what Jeff speculated) and once the group assured he had made it safely to the care of a doctor, you and Abed were back on your way, dancing on the dance floor. After a few minutes though, the two of you noticed a number of people around you all looking exceptionally ill and complaining of stomach pains.
You frowned as you glanced over Abed’s shoulder to see the group of sick people in the corner growing more and more in numbers. “Do you think it’s food poisoning or something?”
Abed looked over his shoulder and back to you with a shrug, “Most likely. Probably that taco meat. I’m still not entirely convinced isn’t horse meat.”
Suddenly, someone grabbed your shoulder roughly, pulling down with sloppy force and you turned around, irritated at whoever had grabbed you so aggressively. The girl from statistics stood right next to you and just as you were about to reprimand her for grabbing you like that, you stopped yourself. Clearly, something was wrong. Her shoulders were slumped forward and her skin was pale. Her face was sunken and she was groaning. “Are you okay?” You asked, concern suddenly replacing irritation.
She reached for you slowly at first but then her hand shot out to grip your forearm and she bent over, trying to bite you. Before her teeth could make contact, you panicked and ripped your hand away from her grasp, hitting her hard in the shoulder with your free hand. “What the hell?!” You yelled, cradling your arm protectively close to your body.
She looked up at you and Abed and groaned loudly, her eyes heavy and empty. “Zombies,” Abed nearly gasped at his own realization.
“What?” You rolled your eyes, “She’s probably on drugs or something.” You watched as she hobbled away, anger returning to now balance out the concern.
Abed reached down and grabbed your arm, “Are you bit?”
“What? No? Abed, you don’t really think they’re zombies, do you? I mean I love sci-fi as much as the next person but that’s just ridiculous.” You tried your hardest to brush off the absurd suggestion but then you started hearing people scream. A quick glance around the room though told you otherwise. All around the multipurpose room, students were biting other students. Your stomach dropped and your hand came to knot in your hair. “Oh my gosh, they’re zombies…” You conceded to Abed’s theory with a panic.
Chaos ensued.
Everyone ran towards the door, you and Abed included, but just as you made it to the main exit, the doors slammed shut. Dean Pelton was on the other side, locking the doors.
“Um, um!” Jeff yelled at the dean through the glass doors. Your heart raced with panic and fear and you kept glancing behind you to make sure there were no zombies coming. If it weren’t for the ice running through your veins and the feeling of your heart beating out of your chest, you would have noticed how tightly you were gripping onto Abed’s side.
“I’m sorry!” The Dean closed the next set of doors, sealing you in.
“Open the door!” Britta demanded.
“I’ve been told we need a little baby quarantine until the army gets here,” he added, not sounding at all like he had just effectively locked dozens of students in a room that would surely result in their deaths.
The entire group of you called out in unison, “The army?”
“I know, right! They said to wait for six hours! Stay strong!” He advised poorly before locking a gate over the doors. There was no getting out that way.
Growling behind you made you turn your head and you saw Starburns approaching the group fairly nimbly for a zombie. “Abed…” you pulled on his arm and pointed at the group of zombies that was only moments from having you cornered.
“Guys,” Abed started, “I hate to be the ‘we’ve got company’ guy but…” When the group turned around, Abed pointed at the obvious hoard of infected students closing in on you.
“Head to the back!” Jeff instructed and the whole group ran to the study room as quickly as they could.
A fake gun identical to the one Zoe used in the show had been strapped to your leg, a decision you were aware was questionable - bringing a fake gun to a school that is - but your desire for authenticity beat out your better judgement. In this moment, you were glad it had because it came in handy as you swung it like a baseball bat into the zombies that tried to attack you. “I’m sorry!” You shrieked to the part of them that was still human as the butt of the fake gun cracked across the face of a fellow student you’d never met.
“In here!” Abed grabbed your hand and pulled you into the study room, slamming the door shut behind you. You looked for anything to barricade the door with, your eyes settling on a bookshelf.
You ran behind it and pressed your shoulder against it with all your might, “A little help!”
Troy and Abed both ran to your aid, Troy pulling it and Abed standing beside you to help push it. Finally, it slid across the carpet and blocked the door. You panted, hands on your knees, whether from the exertion or the adrenaline, you weren’t sure but you felt like your heart was in your throat.
Jeff turned to the room after barricading the door on the opposite wall and asked if anyone had been lost on the way. While you hadn’t been close friends with the study group, everyone on campus knew who was in the study group because everything seemed to always revolve around them and from your brief headcount, everyone was still present.
It took only minutes for the squabbling to begin. It started with Shirley and Chang panicking about the end times but quickly turned into a pissing contest between Jeff and… well technically Rich was the target but he didn’t ever seem to catch onto that. You had hung back with Abed and Troy, who, despite Abed’s story about earlier, seemed like a pretty chill guy so far.
You rolled your eyes as you listened to Jeff insult Rich and murmured to Troy and Abed sarcastically, “That’s an effective way to try and survive the next six hours.”
“Y/N’s right - shouldn’t we be barricading the room?” Troy asked with equal exasperation.
“I don’t know. These guys don’t seem so-” Abed pulled down the blinds to peek outside, only to be greeted by a zombie right at the window, “I will help you.”
The three of you began moving to pile more heavy objects against the door, apparently the only three with your heads on straight. “Wait,” Rich stopped you, “Before you barricade us in, I need to ask if anyone has been bitten?”
Everyone looked at each other distrustfully. You even checked your own body to make sure you hadn’t been bit and not realized it in the rush of things but you were clean and clear. Abed and Troy were safe as well as far as you could tell. After it had been determined everyone was fine, you resumed your reinforcement efforts.
“We’re gonna be stuck here for six hours,” you groaned, plopping down heavily on the couch you just moved, dread finally setting in now that your brain had had a moment to get out of fight-or-flight and process reality.
Rich shook his head, “Those people don’t have six hours. With those high fevers, in three hours, they’ll have permanent brain damage. In six, they’ll be dead.”
“If we lower the temperature of the building, will it break the fever and kill the virus?” Annie suggested desperately.
Abed jumped off the table he had stood up on after moving it, “I know where the thermostat is, out there on the wall! Troy, we have to rise to the occasion, like Ripley and kick monster butt in our undies.”
Troy shook his head at his best friend, “I’m not Ripley, Abed. I’m a cool, sexy Dracula. I make love to ladies and I survive.”
“I’m with Troy!” Jeff agreed, arms crossed.
You scoffed at the two men. The desire to stay alive was more than understandable, you also knew you couldn’t just let all of your classmates die. “I’m with you Abed. What do we need to do?”
“The thermostat is just outside on the wall. If we get to it, we can lower the temperature and break the fevers,” Abed explained, pointing through the window to where you needed to go. You nodded silently, taking in the directions with ease.
You swallowed hard as you geared up to leave. Rich spoke up again, “Be careful out there and don’t get bit. The incubation only takes minutes and if you get bit, you might not be able to... reach... the... thermostat…” Everyone’s eyes got wide and they backed away from Rich as his voice deepened and his voice slurred.
“You’re bit!” Jeff accused with an angry shout.
Everyone screamed and ran to opposite corners of the room. As they did, Britta suddenly reached out towards Shirley, her eyes dark and her skin pale. “They got Britta too!” Shirley cried out, running away.
“I got this!” Chang announced triumphantly, throwing an ice skate in their direction but missing both Rich and Britta. Instead, it crashed through the window and before Annie could process what had happened, she was pulled through the gap by the hands of dozens of zombies, disappearing into the hoard with a scream.
“Annie!” Troy yelled, lunging for her but missing.
“Run!” Jeff screamed out, taking off out the door.
The whole group of you took off down whatever empty hall you could find. You hadn’t been looking behind you. You were only concerned with keeping up with Abed so that the two of you could find the thermostat. When he stopped all of a sudden, though, you did too. “We have to help them!” He said, pulling back. It took you a moment to realize Shirley and Chang were missing.
“We need to get to the thermostat then!” You told him with a reassuring nod, pulling him along this time. You had been connected until you were knocked off your feet by the large body of an unknown classmate.
“Y/N!” Abed called out for you, the feeling of your hand slipping out of his own shocking him.
When he turned back, he saw your head disappear around the corner of the hallway and your voice called out, “Get to the thermostat!” Abed stared after you with wide eyes, reaching out for you but you were already gone. He knew what he had to do to save you.
In that moment, you had fully expected to get bit. How you managed to avoid their teeth was beyond you (not that you were complaining of course). When your hand slipped from Abed’s you expected his to be the last face you ever saw and, for a split moment, you were grateful - there definitely could have been worse people to spend your last night alive with.
You tripped over your own feet as the large man-zombie crashed into you and shoved you down the hall. Your butt hit the ground with a thud but thankfully your clumsiness triggered the zombie’s own discoordination as well. He tripped over your knees, falling flat onto his face without an attempt at catching his weight. You took the opportunity and scrambled to your feet, running further down the hallway before more zombies funnelled in after you.
You needed to find a way to loop back around to the main room to reach the thermostat. There was no guarantee that Abed was going to make it there without being bit first either. As you ran as fast as you could, you glanced behind you to see the hoard of zombies close behind you. How the heck were you going to do this?
An open door to your left drew your attention and you ducked into what quickly revealed itself to be a chemistry lab. You turned and slammed the door shut behind you, sliding down the door to sit on the floor with your head in your hair. Think, think, think. Only one idea came to you - and it was insane.
Your feet dragged, your arms hung uneven, your head lolled to one side. A groan left your lips and you struggled to keep your face emotionless as zombies bumped into you from every angle. So far, trying to blend in was working well for you. None of the zombies seemed to notice the difference as you bobbed and weaved your way through the mass of your infected classmates. Still, your anxiety made sure you remembered that, at any second, that could change.
As you finally made your way into the main room, a now-infected Starburns bumped into you head on. The impact made you gasp but you covered it quickly with a zombie-like groan. Even in his state, an analytical look crossed his face, as if she was trying to discern your infection status. At first, you mentally cringed. And I thought he was creepy normally. With your heart in your throat, you shuffled past him to put as much space between the two of you as possible.
Then you saw it - the thermostat. On the wall just ahead of you, the little control panel was perched like a beacon of hope. You were so close.
You shuffled forward, closing the gap. Fifteen feet became ten, ten became five, five became -
The sound of feet on wood was undeniable and, this time, you knew it wasn’t a zombie. It was too consistent and rapid. There was also the distinct sound of plastic or metal scraping against the ground. Looking to your right, you saw him. “Abed!” You sighed in relief, seeing the tall man race towards you across the desktops. He jumped off with both feet, his body landing oddly stiffly as his feet hit the ground.
His long arms reached out for you as he noted with remark, “You’re not a zombie!”
You shook your head as you held his biceps, “Neither are you!” You glanced behind him, expecting to see Jeff and Troy, who had also taken off in your direction, but saw no one. “Jeff and Troy?” You asked worriedly.
Abed nodded solemnly and gestured over to a now zombified Jeff, still tapping away on his phone in the corner. “We did it, though. Hopefully this’ll save them all.” He reached over and pressed the down arrow on the thermostat to drop the temperature.
A smile spread across your face. “We did it!” You exclaimed happily. Your celebration was short lived though when you noticed the group of zombies closing in you and Abed. The temperature just wasn’t dropping fast enough.
“We’re screwed,” you breathed out heavily, panicked and disheartened. A glance over at the thermostat showed it was now at 62 degrees and dropping but that was just the temperature it was being set to and who knew how long it would take for the air conditioning to actually cool down the whole building to that new low.
Abed noticed the same fact and he glanced at the ground before looking back up at you. “We’re not gonna make it out of here,” he added in that voice that was used by every character in movies in situations like this. The one that was confident but accepting, the one reserved for the captain going down with the ship or the military commander accepting they were outnumbered. Both felt true in this situation.
You stared up at him with wide starry eyes, still holding him tightly. “Do you think it’ll work?” Your voice shook with fear as you saw Annie and Leonard within a few feet of you.
Abed’s grip on your arm tightened, holding your body closer to his. He looked at you like you were all that was left in this world because, in a way, you were. “I hope so. But in case it doesn’t, I’m sure glad that yours is one of the last faces I see.” It was as if his tone deepened and his speech pattern changed. It didn’t feel like you were talking to Abed anymore but a character that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
It didn’t matter though because you were holding each other tightly, staring into each others’ eyes and clinging to the possibility that they would be the last thing either of you saw. Then, suddenly, Abed leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. You craned your neck for comfortable access but snaked a hand around his neck, pulling him lips further into your own.
Abed’s soft lips were the last things you felt before two different sets of teeth sunk into your skin, one of your neck, the other on your bicep. Abed also called out in pain as he was bitten as well.
Then it all went black.
**
When you finally came to, you were lying face down. Your head pounded and you felt groggier than you ever had before. “Ugh,” you groaned, surrendering the weight of your head to the surface below you entirely. That is, until you felt the surface rise and fall and you finally heard the rhythmic beating beneath your ear.
You darted up to a seat to see Abed Nadir beneath you. His eyes were slowly blinking open and he looked around, just as confused as you felt. Still, you apologized immediately, “I’m so sorry!” You crawled off of him and sat on the ground next to where you woke up.
Abed glanced at you and then at himself, his mind racing to put pieces of the evening together. “Do you know what happened?” He asked you with a level voice, as if he hadn’t just woken up with a random classmate on top of him.
A quick scan of the room told you that you had no clue what had happened. All of the party-goers were on the floor or standing up from the floor. Paramedics were all over, helping people onto gurneys. And oh my gosh, it was freezing. You shook your head, “I-I can’t remember anything.”
He frowned, “Hmm, that’s strange. Me neither.”
“I’m sorry for lying on you. I don’t know what happened…” You repeated, feeling so embarrassed for the compromising position you woke up in. You had had a crush on Abed Nadir since the first week of anthropology, finding his intelligence and quirkiness charming, not to mention that fact that he was insanely physically attractive as well.
And although you had no idea what had happened, you felt like something had happened with him. Something good.
Abed only shrugged and sat up beside you, “Neither do I…”
Garrett shuffled up to the two of you, his hamster onesie torn in various places, rubbing his head. “Did you guys hear?” He asked in his impossibly squeaky voice, “The cops said that someone roofied the punch. Who does that?!” He threw his arms up and continued his way around the room, telling everyone he passed what he had heard from the cops.
You frowned and sighed exasperatedly, “Who would do that? And how did everyone pass out?”
Abed shared your expression, “I don’t even remember drinking any punch.”
That was when it had occurred to you that you were talking to Abed but you couldn’t remember having ever actually officially met him. “Um, I’m-”
“Y/N, right? You sit in the second row in anthropology,” he interrupted robotically but it made you flattered nonetheless. It was easy to feel like you were just another face in the crowd at school. You never would have imagined that someone noticed you.
A surprised breathy laugh left your lips, “Yeah. How did you know?”
Abed stared at you matter-of-factly, “You’re really pretty and I noticed that you always sit in the same seat. I’m Abed, by the way.”
The blunt compliment took you off guard but made your cheeks burn. You had been secretly harboring a crush on Abed since the beginning of the semester and had never expected for him to even know your name, let alone think you were pretty. “O-oh, thank you. And yeah, I know,” you confessed, slightly embarrassed “I remember that one film you made for the lecture we did on native tribes in the Amazon. It was pretty creative.”
Abed smiled, “You know, I get the feeling that we met earlier tonight.” He stood up and offered a hand to you. You reached it, surprised by how soft his hands were, and allowed him to help you to your feet.
“Me too. I mean, there must have been a reason I woke up on you,” you chuckled, shifting your weight from foot to foot.
“Y’know, if you’re up for it, I’d like to get to know you… again,” he added the last bit with a quirk of his lips.
Your heart quickened, “Like, like a date?”
Abed looked at the ground and then back at you confidently, nodding, “Like a date.”
A dumbfounded giggle broke your attempt at playing it cool so you chewed your lip to try and hide it. “I’d like that.”
“Great. Here, I’ll give you my number,” he said, reaching for you imagined was his backpack but then quickly realizing he was still in costume.
“Um, how about I get it in class tomorrow?” You offered, amused.
Abed nodded with a smile, “That sounds good.”
You sighed reluctantly, “Well, as much as I’m enjoying hanging out with you, I think we must be residually roofied or something because I’m super tired. I think I’m gonna head home but it was really nice finally meeting you… again.”
Abed loved the way you bit your lip nervously when you talked to him and as much as he didn’t want to stop talking to you, he knew he needed to make sure his friends were okay too. “It was nice to meet you too. Have a good night,” he bid you farewell and watched as you walked away, occasionally glancing behind you to get a last look at him.
“What. The. Hell.” Jeff’s voice came to Abed as a surprise but when he looked up, he saw the study group approaching him, “How the hell did you manage to snag her?”
Troy’s eyes were wide and he wore a proud grin for his best friend. “Nice, dude!” He extended his hand and Abed and Troy did their handshake.
Annie squealed and grabbed Abed’s arm excitedly, “Oh my gosh, Abed! Who was that?”
“Her name is Y/N. She’s in our anthropology class. We’re going on a date soon,” Abed explained simply but the group was proud of him.
Pierce scoffed, “On a scale of one to ten, she’s an eleven. Why would she go out with a weirdo like you? Better watch your back, Abed, because I’ve been known to steal women.”
Everyone cringed at Pierce as they so often did. “I’m not worried,” Abed told Pierce before Shirly piped up.
“Oh, she looks nice! She better treat you right, Abed. And remember, the Lord is watching,” her voice suddenly changed from sweet and sing-songy to serious and stern, “So you guys better keep your pants on on that date.”
Abed didn’t know how to respond so he just turned and the group followed as they walked out of the school, each member taking their turn to tease or congratulate him. All he could think about, though, was his eagerness to see you tomorrow.
pairing: abed nadir/m! reader
word count: 1.3k
rating: T
requested: yes
im really sorry this took so long but i had no idea what to write and idk bc i love abed so much but here it is
Abed is aware of the natural progressions in a relationship ( he’s seen cookie cutter romances blasted through a projector ). It’s always meeting with witty banter or shy smiles which doesn’t correlate with anything he’s experienced. Anxious hands inching towards each other underneath a gingham table cloth and when he attempted it, it only resulted with scraping past wet gum. And casual kisses that appear to be monoliths within relationships.
Films make it seem so easy but those are characters who have people be paid to bring humanity to them. Lacking a certain complexity about the human psyche and varying reactions to unprompted actions. How do you kiss someone without needing to ask? Does asking enhance the experience? When is the right time to kiss someone? It’s a series of questions with no real answer and he’s uncertain if he’s willing to hear the truth.
He thinks that now is better than never but he would never purposely cross boundaries that have not been set. ( He didn’t meet you in a scripted manner, he would not want that. ) Yet, Jeff and Britta have already given him tips; Pierce has starting saying nonsensical things he tunes out; and Troy, Annie, and Shirley are the only ones who seem to understand the natural progression of dating.
Now is better than never. He’s never certain as to when now is.
He sits on the floor of his apartment, slowly watching you shift through his DVD collection. Pondering what you might pick before jumping into his arms again. It’s a domestic scene, one he might’ve missed if he waited. Now is better than never but a kiss is different than a date. It’s different wanting to see what his lips feel like pressed against yours.
“Are you fine with Corpse Bride again?” he doesn’t answer, instead watching as you sit back on the couch and adjust to fit in his arms. He was made to mold around your form. “Abed?”
He blinks. Once then twice.
Nodding even though the question has fallen deaf against his ears. “Totally,”
“Awesome, cause I was worried you were gonna get bored watching this movie again and I was thinking of Kauffman but that just gets you tired. So maybe comfort was a nice go to, y’know?”
Abed doesn’t know, he just watches you ramble about things and enjoys the haven he finds within the action. Knowing what makes him tick and reminding him of it. A saccharine feeling settling within the scene. He loves it, he loves what you do, he loves you.
He rushes in as he catches your wide eyed stare. A yelp leaving you as his forehead bumps against yours and his nose pokes your cheek. “Ack!” The sound leaves you both as you nurse surface level wounds that will wear off within minutes. He’s quick to cover his face, find solace in the darkness so he does not have to spare another thought to this onslaught of embarrassment.
“Abed?” you softly ask but he does not move his shield of fingers until your gently pull them down.
He watched you, he could watch you forever and never be bored by the prospect. Yet, it is not the time for romantic idles that will only keep him stalling from the truth. He tried his hand at unprompted gestures that only failed. Abed Nadir is swearing off from impulsivity ( an unlikely promise ).
“Did you want to kiss me?” you inquire and the soft grin that tugs on your lips only furthers the small pot of humiliation harboring at his stomach. You are a complex being, one he did not imagine and plays along with his endless ideas ( so many that are questionable but you still stay ).
“You could’ve just asked.”
You say as if its the most obvious thing in the world. It is, but he does not want to accept it.
“I—” Abed wants to protest but his lips fail to form any retort that could be reasonable. “I thought this would be more romantic like Pretty Woman.”
He thought romance was chronological. That there’s a right timing as to when moves can be brought out and what would make his boyfriend less upset. However, divine timing seems fictional at the moment.
“Wasn’t Julia Roberts a prostitute in that?” you question, smile only seeming to grow by the second. Ignoring his plight, instead trying a joke to help seal his hurt. You know him like the stars do the moon.
He retorts, “Do prostitutes not deserve romance?”
Your lips purse in thought, only pretending. A small huff leaving him as you do. He wouldn’t trade moments like these for some so formulaic and scripted. ( You’re real and all he’s ever wanted. ) The smile soon returns your lips with a firm nod.
“Very astute observation, Mister Nadir. I think that deserves a real kiss.”
Slowly, you lean in. Unleashing any prior tension as your fingers brush past his face and your mouth finds his. He doesn’t know what you taste like, a bit like toothpaste and chocolate that sit right upon his tongue as it glides along your bottom lip. Everything about this is new and untimed.
It’s the best kiss he’s ever had, he realizes after you lean back. His fingers loosely pressing into your waist as you still caress his face. ( His whole life in his hands. )
“We should do that again sometime,” he adds after and presses another peck to the corner of your mouth.
Summary: In which you kiss Abed or Han Solo during paintball.
Word Count: 631 words. I’m sorry about how short these are!!!
Warnings: none that I know of.
You walked home with Abed, doused in orange paint. He noticed how cold you were before so he handed his jacket to you. You blushed a deep crimson at the gesture, but that wasn't the only thing that left you flustered.
You fire another paintball bullet at the City College people in the white hazmat suits, but you missed and hit one of the books, which dropped to the floor. You huffed and tried to shoot another bullet, but the paint didn't come out. Confused, you hit the gun a couple times and pulled the trigger, only o realized it was empty.
You look at Abed with an expression of defeat. "I'm out of ammo." You say, dismayed that Greendale would be the losing team of this war.
Abed has the same problem as you, hitting his handgun multiple times before realizing his ammo is gone too. “I’m out too.” He looks at you with an expression you can’t place.
You hear one of the guys in the hazmats signal to close in on you both, causing to drop your gun and sigh. “So...this is it.”
“Yeah...” Abed says, still in his Han Solo phase, “I guess it is, doll.” You internally roll your eyes at the gesture.
“Are you still going to be Han Solo when this is all over? Because no offense, but I’d like the old Abed back when we’re done.” Don’t get me wrong, Han Solo Abed was nice, but it wasn’t Abed.
“What do you even like about this ‘Abed’ guy anyways?” HS Abed asks, and you furrow you’re eyebrows, thinking.
“Well,” you start, “He’s sweet, cute, he makes me laugh, when I’m feeling down he finds ways to make me feel better even though it could be difficult for him. When he talks about shows or movies, it makes me feel some sort of way- I don’t know what it is but I-“
You were interrupted when Abed pulled you by your waist and passionately slammed his lips onto yours. Your eyes widened in shock, but soon you melted into him, your hands running through his curly hair and his hands wrapping around your waist. You felt something splatter on you but you didn’t care. You were occupied here.
It wasn’t until you heard the alarm going off that broke you two apart. You gasped for air and looked at your outfit, seeing orange paint covering you and Abed, who ran outside to see what the racket was all about. You nod to yourself and touched your lips, a smile on your face.
Your thoughts came to a close when you reached your house. Remembering you had Abed’s Han Solo jacket, you removed it from your shoulders and handed it to him.
“Here,” you held it in front of Abed, who hesitantly takes it. You walk up the stairs, but then a thought flew in your head. You stopped and looked at Abed, who was just about to cross the street to head to his shared apartment with Troy and Annie.
“Abed?” He stopped and turned at your call. “When we were, you know...” you laughed nervously, “was I kissing Han Solo or Abed?”
Abed tilted his head and his eyebrows were furrowed. He then spoke, “Well, you were kissing Han Solo, but you were also kissing me.”
“So...?” You ask, confused.
“Who would you have wanted to kiss? Me or Han?”
“You, obviously,” you said immediately, and then covered your mouth in embarrassment. “I mean, I do want to kiss you, because I like you, and I like to hang out with you. And I want to be with you.”
Abed nods. “I want to be with you too.” Now you were bit smiling like idiots.
“I can’t believe you’re dragging me to this!” My friend (F/N) said, eating a box of Thin Mints as we walked down the halls of Greendale Community College. I grabbed the box from her hands and shoved it back in my book bag.
“Would you stop eating all my snacks?” I asked hurriedly. “I bought these for the movie! Does it look like we’re watching The Breakfast Club? No, so don’t start eating yet.” She rolled her eyes, and continued walking.
“You know, you remind me of this kid in my Spanish class. Abed? He’s a real film buff.!You know him?” She took out her phone, as started texting someone.
“Do you think all film buffs know each other?” I asked, trying to look over her shoulder, to see who she was chatting with.
“I don’t know, maybe.” She responded, smiling.
“Who are you texting?” I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“No one.” We walked across the lawn, through the quad, and ended up at the “cinema”. And old class room with a projector, and clear, white wall. I pulled on the handle of the door, when (F/N) stopped me. “Whats your damage, Heather?” I asked, cocking my head to the side a bit.
“So, you know how I was texting someone?” She asked while fiddling with the phone in her hands.
“You mean a few minutes ago? Yes, I believe I recall that.” I said, sarcastically. She glared at me, and continued.
“Well, I was texting a guy-“ I glared at her. “No! You don’t understand! He’s reaaally hot! Jeff Winger? You’ve met him before, right?” I shook my head.
“Why do you assume I’ve met everyone on campus?!”
“Well anyway, he asked if I wanted to meet him in five, for dinner. And I said yes.”
“You’re kidding!” I gasped.
“No, I’m not.” She started walking across the lawn to the parking lot.
“You suck!” I yelled, as I walked into the building. I weaved through the halls until I found the room I was looking for. Inside the room, was a projector, a few rows of chairs, and one boy sitting in the very back. He had black hair, dark skin, and a slim body. He gave a little wave, which I returned, before sitting in the front row, putting my bag on the floor next to me. I grabbed a bag of Sour Patch Kids, and a bottle of doctor pepper, before sitting up and enjoying the movie.
“Hey.” The guy from the back. He sat down next to me, and held out his box of Milk Duds. I grabbed one from the box, and popped it into my mouth. I offered him a Sour Patch, and he did the same.
“Thanks.” I whispered, giving him a smile. “I’m (Y/N).” He returned the smile, and stuck out his hand.
“Abed.” He responded.
Ah... so this is the guy (F/N) was telling me about. I nodded my head, as we both continued to watch the movie. At the end of the screening, I picked up my trash, shoved it in my bag, and turned to Abed.
“I was going to tell you this earlier, but I didn’t want to get in the way of the movie. I really like your shirt.” I said, motioning to his Inspector Spacetime t-shirt. He glanced down, and nodded.
“You watch the show?” He asked, his head tilted to the side, ever so slightly. Gosh, he’s cute
“Yeah! It’s one of my favorites!” I said, getting excited that someone was as geeky as I was.
“Thanks. I like you too.” I fiddled with the hem of my When Harry Met Sally shirt. “Your shirt, I like your shirt.”
“Why thank you.” I smiled. “Well, I better get home.” I stood up, and walked to the door, before pausing, and turning around. Abed sat, in the same spot as before. He stared blankly at the wall, as is started back to the seat by him. I sat back down, and pulled out my phone. “Can I get your number? There’s a showing of Casablanca on Thursday. Would you be interested?” He took my phone, and put in his number, with a smirk. He handed it back, and smiled.
“Cool. Cool, cool, cool.” I chuckled, and smiled back.
“Cool.” I stood once again, and walked to the door. “See you Thursday.”
1 YEAR LATER
Abed and I walked down the halls of Greendale, hand in hand, and looking at all the posters, and updates on the wall. I gasped, and ran over to a poster, on the spanish room door.
“Abed! They’re playing the Breakfast Club on Saturday! We should go!” I looked into his eyes, and smiled. “It is our movie!”He tilted his head, and nodded.
“Sounds fun.” He looked down at me, and smiled. I chucked, and pecked his lips, which he gladly returned.
“Cool.” I said, before we continued walking down the hall again.
“Cool, cool, cool.”
Sorry about the crappy ending... and crappy overall story. If you have any requests, (any fandom! Sorry if I don’t know it.) let me know!
