Im looking to form a Vee. Have you ever met any successful Vee relationships? Or have any advice about starting one?
Hey! I had to look up that term ngl. And for the audience that didn’t know either:
“A 'Vee' (or V) relation is a polyamorous dynamic where one person (the "hinge") is in a romantic relationship with two other people (the "arms" or "legs"), while those two partners are not romantically involved with each other.”
Now for your question. Yes, I have been in somewhat a Vee relationship. During my first polyamorous relationship I was the one dating/in a dynamic with two people, who ocasionaly played together or spend time together. But specifically both romantically/dynamic-y dated me and not really with each other. (Kinda a fellow subs-vibe). And albeit not in the romantic sense, but more-so in a dynamic/casual play sense I have been in similar situations as well. (Obviously the context is a bit different because there was no romantic aspect)
Regardless, be extremely aware of how much spoons and energy this will cost you and how much clear planning is needed to make such a relationship structure even possible. Clear communication and having all cards open on the table is also super important. Make sure everyone continues to express their expectations. You (all) need te decide what sort of metamour interaction is comfortable for everyone. What everyones boundaries and needs are. And its crucial that you stay aware and considerate of those needs at all time. Each relationship or dynamic will be unique. And will require a different amount of energy, time and approach. So don’t go in there thinking to treat everyone in the exact same way. Managing individual expectations, and also sharing yours, is thus crucial to keeping everyone happy, seen and loved.
Oh yeah, never went to Partner A about partner B or vice versa. That will only cause resentments and make people feel unsafe. Keep that in or vent with friends or other people that you are close with or super casually explore with. Or with family perhaps.
Discuss what forms these relationships will take. For example:
Kitchen Table: Everyone is comfortable hanging out together socially.
Parallel Polyamory: Partners prefer to keep their lives and relationships completely separate.
Flexibility: Allow this dynamic to change naturally over time without forcing it.
There is no wrong awnser, just make sure everyone is comfy with the outcome.
All with all, clear communication and good planning are crucial to the survival of this Vee relationship. Goodluck!
