LIRR Nightmares
It started off as a regular morning -- well, a regular morning after a four-day weekend. Your typical grogginess, difficulty waking up to an alarm, general irritation.
All normal.
I left my apartment on time and not rushing for once (give me credit for this) and saw a text from my mother around 7:50am.
“Is your train on time?”
(I believe they call this foreshadowing)
I get ready with the news on every morning and didn’t hear anything about LIRR delays, so I wondered why she was asking that. I also wasn’t at the train yet since I take the 8:03 every morning so I didn’t know. But I thought nothing of it.
I got on my train and quickly heard that they were experiencing some delays (WHAT ELSE IS NEW) and would be making local stops. Eh, I can live with that. That’s all fine.
But then, all hell broke loose. Instead of just telling you what happened in my own words, I can also show you in series of photos. Alternative title to this post: ALLISON HAS A MENTAL BREAKDOWN.
BUCKLE UP.
First, the alerts. The Long Island Railroad isn’t great at saying, “hey, there are going to be delays later; you might want to plan accordingly!” but they ARE great at saying, “uh, yeah, there are delays now. but you probably know that already.”
It wasn’t awful, though. Sure, I was late, but nothing out of the ordinary. I figured all the extra stops were causing the 20 minute delay (which I can live with! I’m easygoing and patient! Very go with the flow!)
But then... we stopped. There was no more movement. I looked at my calendar to see what meetings I had today at work, and the first call was at 10:30. Phew, I’ll probably make that, right?
(Foreshadowing again)
I email my team and tell them I’m going to be late and decided to just try and be patient (something I suck at), throw on some music and deal. I also felt like I should document the delay because I’m an over-sharer and have this weird thing where I think people care about what I’m experiencing:
I now started to get antsy. My butt hurt from sitting for so long. People were starting to lose their patience and tempers. I felt bad for those who were stuck standing in the aisles, but also was secretly glad it wasn’t me. I felt the train walls closing in on me and suddenly felt... panicky. The man next to me -- who at this point hadn’t said a peep -- decided to call every single person in his phone’s address book. LUCKY ME.
I look at my phone battery: 38%. I should probably not use my iPhone anymore, but what am I supposed to do during this stressful situation?! I HAVE TO CONTINUE TWEETING HATEFUL THINGS AT THE LONG ISLAND RAILROAD TWITTER HANDLE!
topical.
not the most mature, but... *shrugs*
I *also* needed to keep concerned friends and family posted on my whereabouts:
of course I gotta keep Sue in the loop.
It’s now 10:30. I’m hot, I’m full of rage. I’m annoyed.
I’m late for my client call.
I think about all the times the trains have been messed up in 2017 and I get annoyed. I THEN remember that I pay $300 a month for this godforsaken piss-poor service, and I start to see red. Breeeeeeeeeeathe, Allison, just breathe.
I hear the conductor make an announcement on the loudspeaker, so I take my headphone out to hear it. Only, I can’t hear it, no one can -- the volume is too low and his voice is muffled. THE SPEAKERS DON’T WORK; WHY WOULD THEY???! People on my train laugh; the kind of laugh that happens when you’ve lost your mind. Because we have.
Now, the worst happens... I lose cell phone service. No more Instagram stories, tweets and texts. This is it, I think, this is my home now. I live here. I’m never getting out.
11:00 am.
Just as I begin to accept my fate that I somehow died and am now living my personal hell, we pull into Penn Station. Three hours of commuting. Two hours longer than normal. I stand up and just see a bunch of faces: disgruntled, defeated. We’ve been through battle together. And now our (work) days were only just beginning.
I made it into work at 11:20ish; a bruised and battered commuter, and as soon as I turned the corner into my desk area, I saw about ten concerned faces look up at me. I make a VERY SERIOUS announcement.
“I need ten minutes before I can talk to anyone.”
And whatddya know, they listened.
So, not the greatest start to my day, but I survived. And to those who followed along on my little nightmare journey this morning, you’re the real MVPs. That couldn’t have been easy to witness.
So, tell me: any fellow commuters out there? Got any nightmare stories for me?








