Discover Top Posts Tagged with #compartmentalizing

I know I've said this like seven times already but I do feel so much better now with my relationship in shambles then when it was in shambles and I was pretending it wasn't

#it's like the this is fine dog except the fire is in a different building from the dog #COMPARTMENTALIZING #<- that's the bitch #my ex

I am myself a myth about myself. Who I am has nothing to do with it.

Siri Hustvedt, from The Blazing World

#identity #doesn't matter #compartmentalizing #self mythologizing #distance #so far removed #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #siri hustvedt #the blazing world

We can mourn the dead later, until then don't feel

Occasion: when you need to compartmentalize to finish your job

Source: Blood and Whiskey, 2:44

#the mechanisms #weekly mechs #hnoc #compartmentalizing #high noon over camelot #queue can't erase me #only the fools use their powers for good

People don't just compartmentalize their beliefs and opinions; they do so in such a convoluted way that it would mystify Escher.

#beliefs #opinions #escher #compartmentalizing

#K.M.M #fever series #Mackayla Lane #compartmentalizing #growing up #[The Jackal and the Wolf]#]Becoming[

#coping with grief #compartmentalizing #sims3morgans #sims 3 #simblr #sims 3 pets #sims 3 story #sims story #loss #long term trauma #ts3

October 1st, 2019: Lines, and Boxes, and Circles

I store information. I compartmentalize data and store it for later use. I'm sure most people do this too, but perhaps, I'm realizing, not to the same extent. I compartmentalize into categories and groups.

It goes a little something like...

In this yellow circle, I have my D&D group. They are my D&D group and cannot be my friends.

In this blue circle, I have my friends. I can play D&D with my friends, but they cannot interact with the D&D group.

In this orange box, I have my blood relation family. My BR family can meet my friends, my D&D groups, and any other groups or vice versa. No one from the other groups can enter my BR family, or be heavily involved, save the red diamond group.

In this red diamond, I have my loved ones. There is overlap here from some sections, but the red diamond is special and supercedes all other labels. I would do anything for these people and am always seeking their love and approval, and these people are given the most trust and loyalty I have to offer of all. Red diamond group has earned my martyrdom. It is a small group.

There are more and more groups, so far in that eventually only individuals are within certain colors and shapes. The point still stands, this is how I function. I feel like a bastardization of a person. I feel fake. I feel inhuman. I feel wrong for being dependent on what feels like a programming fetch modus to determine my relationships to others. I do this categorization with food, with pets, with clothes - either they earn a category or I decide I've earned access to the category I've created.

I hate the black cube. In it, I store those who have hurt me most. It feels like a glitch; this should be my recycle bin. I should empty it. But my love for the people there sometimes override the deletion and I suffer the trauma all over again. I wish it would end. I wish I could move on wholly, as if I could feel whole. My love isn't like that, though. My brokenheartedness is tangible. My love is like a brick home, and everyone who leaves, betrays, and hurts me takes a brick away. I always feel their absence. It plagues my every movement. I wish it didn't.

#vi blogs life #real bpd #really mentally ill #compartmentalizing #real ocd #feel like a monster #feel like an impostor #feel like a fake