Time to check in on what's been happening on twitter lately.
Not a great deal, if I'm honest. It's all been downhill since Ian Botham unwittingly tweeted out a picture of his penis.
Still, it's great if you love manufactured moral outrage, One Direction, and speculation about which minor British celebrities are secret sex offenders.
That being said, I managed to track down some hot new food inspiration for you and your mum.
Up top and we can see how one young man spent his new years, staring at a countdown on his laptop with a bottle of Corona, a tube of Pringles, and an increasing sense of emotional numbness.
Next we have a mug full of cauliflower covered in mustard powder.
If you heard about a parent feeding that to their child you'd call social services, but when a grown adult makes that choice for themselves you just have to shrug your shoulders and make a mental note to have an excuse to hand if they ever ask you around for dinner.
Finally, it's something with tuna fish and macaroni.
Christ, I've been doing this tumblr for over a year.
You think I'd have moved on with my life, but no, it's still an endless parade of dirty hobs and murky sauce puddles.
I need some new interests.
Maybe I could take up a low impact sport, like cup stacking or sofa surfing or street style Jenga.
Maybe I could start faking children's letters to God and start a heartwarming new tumblr with a more wholesome appeal and greater potential for a spin-off televisions series.
Maybe I'll just have myself sewn into a sleeping bag full of pizza and box wine that's then set alight on a pyre like a proud Viking who's fallen in battle, and now eagerly anticipates the endless battle in Valhalla.
