SIMPLIFY. Looking at this word, at this artwork made by my classmate (what a way of giving credit lol), soothes me. Yes, sometimes I’m that shallow of a person. Or maybe I’m just this extremely desperate of having a simple life.
But what exactly is a simple life? Is simplicity? How do you live a simple life?
I don’t know.. As much as I want to call it, I know my life isn’t that much complicated. There are more and more complicated problems in the whole universe than my own. I do this every time, whenever I encounter a hardship in life, I tell myself to calm down, move on, and you’ll get through it - the world got far more complicated problems than you do. That helps me, knowing that I am not alone in this world and there are worse situations. But sometimes I’m thinking if that’s right - comparing my problems to others’ - because whenever the situation is the other way around, this time I feel so blessed and Earth is suddenly such a very bright and positive place, I do not think and tell myself that, calm down, move on, don’t be too happy, there are more blessed persons in this world than you are. See my point? Okay I am not making any sense.
When you belong in a financially-average family, does that mean you live a simple life? If you would ask me, the answer is, NO. When I was younger and less matured, I thought yes. It’s because all I was considering at that time was the material things and all the other financial aspects -
But now I realize, whether you’ve got a wealthy, poor, or in-between living, life is life. Sometimes you’re lucky, other times you are fucked.
And in these times of my life, I don’t know really when it all started, I feel more fucked-up than blessed. Or I am just starting to be more unappreciative and less positive in life.
I tried. I tried to overlook the things I don’t want to see. I tried to be inattentive to the things that are being told to me. I tried living a simple life, as simple-looking as my family, as our home. I tried multiple times to simplify things by being grateful, happy, positive, cheerful, noisy and whatever. But sometimes life really TRIES me.
Is it really how it is? Do having more bad days than pleasurable days normal?
My mindset is getting weaker. I know I must not be this way for too long. I have to be strong for myself, for my family. I’ve been a firm believer of “mind over matter”. I just don’t know how I will be. But again, I have to be.
I cannot wait for MY time.
I just want a happy, stable, and a simple life.
