#compulsory romance

[snakebites-and-ink]

Hate how people treat friendship like it's nothing more than the training wheels version of romantic love.

[the-irken-pony]

Plays the trope straight; aware of problematic implications but is not interested in exploring them (Example: character A has hanahaki disease (throwing up flowers or flower petals or however that usually goes) & will die of suffocation if character B does not reciprocate their love, B confesses their love and cures A; no exploration of what happens if B doesn't reciprocate) -> "Dead dove do not eat"

Remix of the trope; aware of problematic implications and wishes to avoid them (Example: character A has hanahaki disease & will die if they do not confess to character B, A confesses their love and is cured; B has no obligation to reciprocate A's affections and thus is not at fault if they don't for whatever reason) -> trope subversion (not exclusive to problematic tropes)

Dark side of the trope; aware of problematic implications and makes them the central focus (Example: character A has hanahaki disease & will die if character B does not reciprocate their love, B does not or cannot reciprocate for one reason or another resulting in A's death, rest of the story revolves around the personal/social ramifications and the mental toll of B being the sole carrier of an outright impossible task) -> needs a name

[joelfrom08]

when i was like 12–15 i used to joke about how i wasn't out dating or having sex. like "instead of being at the club i'm coding at 2am lol" (coding was interchangeable with gaming, scrolling unicode code charts [what do you mean there's a character that looks like 𰻞], literally ANYTHING slightly nerdy)

i joked about this with friends, family, and to myself. like how ridiculous am i?? a teenage boy NOT out with girls on a saturday night? lmao. imagine that.

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anyway i'm asexual

[aros-in-fandoms]

There's one show called Warehouse 13 that.... like, the main characters were SUCH GOOD FRIENDS and honestly friendship goals then the show got canceled and they ended up together as a couple in the last season and I just..... why???? It was completely unnecessary and I just accepted it at the time, but honestly it makes me furious thinking about it now. Great show, other than the compulsory romance at the very end.

Oh no D: my guess is it had something to do with allos going “oh shit the show is ending gotta shove some romance in there somewhere” but yeah, that sucks that it had to end on that kind of note

[harosy--archive-blog]

p1 hey, so I'm grayromantic, and I identify on the aro spectrum, and I just wanted to say that I'm not identifying as such so that I can "feel oppressed" (I am queer, trans, disabled, and low income - I'm all set). My whole life, I thought I was broken. I never got a crush, never understood "that feeling," and never even began to want anything romantic. It never even crossed my mind. But I had romantic feelings for one person in my life. We were in a two and a half year relationship, and I would

p2 constantly ask her "how is this different for you then a really close friendship where we have sex?" I hadn't even heard the term aro yet. I did feel romantically towards her, but I never understood it. I became obsessed with what defines romance, constantly asking all of my friends. We aren't together anymore, but since that time, I have never felt romantic attraction for anyone else, idk if I ever will. People like me exist, and going out of your way to say that we haven't experienced

p3 feelings of aromanticism can be really damaging. When I found the label, it just fit. I have valuable contributions to discussions, valuable lived experiences, and a place in this community. Finding this community was incredible for me because it made me realize that I'm not broken. I understand where you're coming from, but I would like you to reevaluate it. I'd be happy to come off anon and talk to you more about my experiences. You are hurting real people, please consider this. That's it.

I'm sorry if i came off that way.  Grey-romantic experiences are certainly real.  Compulsory romance/marriage is a terrible thing, and all of us should be able to talk about it together in safe, feminist spaces.  I'm really glad you found people like you, and have come to the wonderful realization that its okay to not have crushes all the time, or to be not romantically connected to most people you like, or even anyone at all.

But aromanticism is not a feeling.  Romance could maybe be described as such, but aromanticism is not.  It's a lack of romantic attraction, a desire to not date ever.  Like, im serious when i say ever.  Never ever.

You, personally, may never date again, and you may never have romantic feelings again, but you are certainly capable, which makes your life experiences much different from mine.  We may have some similar experiences, but we're still fundamentally different, and i want to be able to talk about that stuff without being interrupted by "but what about [romantic spectrum identity]".  I want to be able to connect with other aromantic people and not have to worry about romantic ppl in disguise.  Im sure you understand what its like to have romance shoved into everything.  Please lend me some compassion.

Your hurt is real, as is mine, but yours doesnt trump mine, and it doesnt need to.  We can all connect, aros and greyros, on this site, without stepping on other people's toes.  And i ask that you, and everyone else here, help me do that by keeping romance out of aromanticism.  It doesnt belong and never will.

You have your huge greyro community here.  Please appreciate that and leave my tiny, dying community alone.