#concerning school

[annasylvie]

So we’re watching that one Romeo and Juliet movie for English and I can’t help but call the dad Rotti Largo and I’m just waiting for him to start fucking singing some opera shit

[annasylvie]

So, a school in my area burnt down last night which means there might be new people in my school, which means i might have to learn more peoples names - which isn’t practical like I only learn a third of my classmates names by the end of the first term and I honestly can't not to mention this means there are going to be more people in assemblies and its so crowed already and I don't want more people to be there like holy crap and don't forget there are kids who have to do their GCSE’s this year and have to get used to our fucking shit teachers like they’re all going to die (i honestly feel really bad for them- especially if they’re like me and take  a long time to make friends like who knows their friends might leave them like what happens when you transition from primary to secondary)and wish that MY school burned down but then again everyone in the school wishes it would 

so yeah i don't want these people in my school

[annasylvie]

I have to spend 4 hrs of science in the library doing my controlled assessment

then I get to finish the day with bloody art.

1 more day and a half before I’m free for like 5 weeks

[reallyhardy]

ok i have several homeworks or this week

my art piece with possible animated sections a performing arts essay and maybe the modifying of 2 english essays

ok, that doesn't look so bad written down but i will have to get started soon-ish. lets see how long i can put it off.

[mothmanphobia]

i really do care about some of the people in my class.. i don't have a really big problem with any of them. . . but they have a problem with me

and i admit i've been annoying and stupid and loud and annoying so i don't blame them, i just wish.. they didn't still hate me. i wish they could be my friends and i wouldn't have to dread chemistry and then lunch because of my friends or lack thereof. 

im 10x more aware of their hate during chemistry class because we can pick lab partners and i always end up alone.. i just want a friend to be there and not make me feel like shit

and you know i like the subject of chemistry it's just the people that make it unbearable. i don't mind them, a lot of them are cool. they just can't stand me and it really bugs me. it would be better if i hadn't lost the illusion that i didnt need more than 2 friends at school

i guess i just miss not having to worry about my social standard. 

if the object of the game here was to strip me of every bit of self esteem i pretended i had, well you've succeeded. you've all succeeded. whenever im around school, i hate myself, and my appearance, and my habits, my personality 

everything

i just hate myself

i just wish i didn't suck

by the way

i'm not a mess because a person who will not be named decided to be with different friends this year and not be my friend. in my eyes, if i wanted i could cry about that 24/7 but honestly im not sad about it

i'm sad because i guess my friendship with her actually masked the fact that everyone hated me. deep down i knew it, but i just didn't really pay attention to it, because it didn't matter. i knew she was starting to like me less and less, and again it didn't matter, as long as I had my other friend , I was good. I had (and still have) friends that I could count on that i talked to outside of school. but now,the one friend i almost have is always there for other person and suddenly I don't have any people i can be with at school and that tiny part of me that knew that everyone hated me is coming to light and is causing this overwhelming sense of depression and anxiety that gives me enough sadness to write a fuckton of Adele songs. 

i don't want to die

yet

but 

i've never felt so depressed and sad. it's literally eating me from the inside out. 

[ask-baker-arthurkirkland]

(( Starting tomorrow I will be back at school again. I don't know how much homework I'll have right away, but I will definitely be getting on here less. Just a heads up in case I'm not on at all some days, or only for very little. Please don't hesitate to still send in asks  or other things. I'll get to them on the weekends or on light-homework days. I hope you all have a good week and wish me luck at school! c: ))