#confessional?

[zorlok-if]

I am a real life demon and i am after your soul. Have been for weeks. You’ve exposed our ways and now i’ve gotta track you down. 🫵👹 I’m going to sell it and move to the bahamas and buy a turkey. Don’t ask why. You think too many questions.

Hmm, well I guess you got that one right. I am thinking of many questions right now...

[alienprincesspoop]

i have a thing for repressed christian boys.

[die-lusional]

It's like I'm clinging to some nonexistent and unrealistic hope.

Did I really lose my chance? Did I ever have one? Why can't I accept that? Why have I let everything else go so far?

Happiness isn't infinite but I can't even pretend to enjoy myself with the thought of you floating around every so often.

I am at full capacity, and I'm filled to the brim with you

[brycewillyum]

i love not having anyone i'm close enough to for them to even think to invite me to hang out or do anything and all i do is sit at home aimlessly checking facebook, instagram, twitter, and here looking for something to do. even some of the people i called my closest friends have grown apart from me, not in the sense that we've gone down different roads. it's more like i'm traveling parallel to all those people, with a solid glass wall separating us, torturing me by allowing me to see their joy while lacking any of my own. i'm lonely. and it's a constant state that i'm in, always telling myself to wait for it to pass. i smoke pot when i can, because it helps me feel good. not much else can do that anymore. and i drink, because it makes the simplest things, like listening to music, more fun. but i do it all alone, and sit in self-pity. and no matter what i do, no matter how hard i reach out my hand, there's is not on the other side. and when there's is, it's to use me. i have friends i hang out with, only with them expecting sex. it's always consensual when it happens, but i often wonder, are these the only people i have? and they are. and despite the feeling of disgust i have towards myself or them for those things, i go back because it's often the only socialization i get with other people outside of school or work. i'm sad. i'm lonely. i'm tired of feeling like this. and so i wait. i wait for a day that never comes. as i write this, a friend of mine, who is drunk, wants me to hang out purely because he wants my weed and to have sex. and i say goodnight to you all, only knowing that i'll just leave this site to check the rest, then come back here. and i'll repeat that until i fall asleep. then i'll wake up in the morning and go to work, come home after and just do the same thing. again, and again, and again. i'm sad. i'm lonely. i'm tired of feeling like this.

[fuckitupbuttacup]

I'm so fucking happy and frustrated because I can't tell anyone whyyyyyyy

[spikerr]

something that’s been on my mind lately

i’ll let my readers in on a little secret; i’ve only started writing again a couple of months ago after years of not writing, and i still have a little anxiety over posting stories. ^^;

not because i was scared of writing, but mostly cause i didn’t know how i’d be able to cope with the public eye.

silly, no?

i was told in high school that my writing was the worst thing the teacher had ever seen. the piece itself was something that i had worked really hard on, cried over, and literally torn my hair out over, and it was torn apart. he didn’t spare my humiliation from the class either; in fact he called me up front and trashed it in front of every one. i remember it was completely silent too, and it was probably the worst moment of my life right there. 

that shit sticks with you. no matter what. all my life i’ve had people tell me that i had really good stories that they wanted to see published, even other teachers liked them. i know it’s silly to get all hung up on one bad experience, but it’s something that still kinda hurts to this day.

not that it’s going to stop me, tho. thanks to the encouragement of others, i’ve been able to get back in the groove of things. especially with all the writing i’ve been doing lately as well, it’s more than i’ve done since before high school, and honestly i can’t wait to share it, even if it’s a little scary to hit the post button. 

frankly, it’s thanks to the FT fandom for being super awesome about it too, even if it’s not as known. 

[banditmerciless]

ask me some questions guys! i feel like admitting stuff lmao

and not why i'm black. i already answered that.