#amigoingtohell

[fuckitupbuttacup]

I'm so fucking happy and frustrated because I can't tell anyone whyyyyyyy

[safeseduction-blog]

so torn bcuz I'm not physically attracted to him at all but we get each other on such an emotional level and I want to kiss him but I can't see myself doing it bcuz there's not attraction

[effyoulucy]

My coworker is in the hotel room reading the Bible and I'm over here wondering if it's appropriate for me to go watch porn in the bathroom

[akirafudotiddy]

my sister just found pot in my room and i tried to convince her it was mold from cheese and she looked me dead in the face and said i know it's pot loser ohmYGOODNESS 

[creamsodafantasy]

[chinchillachimichangas-blog]

Philadelphia Freedom shiner me

[dancing-with-myself]

Young Michael J. Fox, (ehh, circa. "Back to the Future") where are you? Come marry me. I don't even care if you have Parkinson's. It will just spice up the bedroom life.

MICHAEL IT'S FIIIINE BY ME, IF YOU HAVE PD. AND WE CAN LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER, IT'S FINE BY ME.

[ormacuz]

First Baconator Mushroom Melt for me...

Me: Oh my god.

Me: I thought the burger was just huge and I couldn't see it.

Me: But.

Me: Oh my god.

Me: This burger.

Me: It has no healthy stuff in it.

Me: NOT EVEN A SINGLE TOMATO.

Me: PICKLE?

Pat: NO

Me: OH MY GOD, NO.

Pat: haha

Pat: mushroom

Pat: that's it

Pat: haha