The lonely girl with one million followers...
“Connected, but alone?” the title of Sherry Turkle’s Ted Talk (TED-Ed 2013) drew me in right away, this idea that someone can be connected with thousands, even millions of people virtually, but feel completely alone in the real world is an interesting phenomenon.
I was indifferent at first, but as I listened to Turkle on the bus home from work, I looked around me and realised that at least 90% of the people on the bus had earphones in and heads buried in their mobile device. Right in front of me was a perfect example of what Turkle (TED-Ed 2013) meant when she said, “we are all alone together,” completely disconnected from the physical world, whilst simultaneously connected with the digital world. I suddenly realised how ironic it is. We shut ourselves off from developing potentially rewarding relationships with real people, to actively interact with ‘virtual’ people.
Yes, as Saipera (2012) says, digital technology has afforded a greater ability for people who have similar interests, ideas and opinions to connect and express themselves freely. However, Putnam (cited in Saipera 2012), made a contrasting viewpoint that technology is affecting our ability to build social capital thus breaking down the very constructs that hold society together. In the Ted Talk ‘How social media makes us unsocial’ (TEDx Talks 2014), Allison Graham highlights the impact of digital technology in a poll conducted in 2001, where Americans said they had ten close friends and in the same poll in 2014, they admitted to only having two close friends. The fact that digital technology allows us to customise our experience and stay within our familiar groups is as Sunstein (cited in Saipera 2012) suggests, fragmenting society into a “collection of polarised groups that share little if anything with each other”.
This ability to customise was further discussed by Wilken & McCosker (2014), who suggest that we use social networking and digital devices to construct our self-identity choosing what is made public or kept private about ourselves. Turkle (TED-Ed 2013), further supports this saying that digital mediums allow us to “present the self we want to be” and edit and delete aspects of our lives. Simon Sinek (2016) also referred to this as “adding a filter to our lives” so as to make it look like we’ve got it together, happy and successful, whilst in reality, many of us are insecure and depressed.
In looking at my interaction with digital, I realise that many of my online ‘friendships’ are surface level at best. Yes, I know what they ate for breakfast and where they went on holiday, but I don’t actually know the real people behind the highlight reel.
So, upon reflection, I began to agree with the sentiments of Turkle (TED-Ed 2013) that digital devices are “so psychologically powerful, they don’t only change what we do, they change who we are.” Yes, we are more connected than ever, but is it at the cost of society and community? Will we sacrifice deep and meaningful relationships in our quest for connectivity?
