#conscious streaming

[69shadesofgray]

i guess right now it’s just i’m in the get home from work and hide in my room phase and i know i’ll get better and i hope i will it’s just finding the energy to push myself for the things i want is so hard right now i only have just enough to go to work so i can afford to pay my bills but i want to see more dogs and go to more happy hours and i want to start going to the gym again and i want to use bumble bff and finally start meeting people and stay up too late and i want to try going on more dates but i’m just so stuck so low energy i don’t know where my motivation to be a better person went but it’s missing and i miss it and i want to be more and i hope i can get excited about life again soon so i can do more and my life can be more than just living to work

i want to live for myself again

[lairofthejabberwock]

Untitled

He awoke with a sudden shock which shook the earth to its core. He threw the duvet off and ran and leapt for the bedroom door. He turned the doorknob and it lost its weight and started float in its own low gravity zone swinging open slowly drifting off to god knows where. The hallway tables and carpet float in mid air, a desk light and a telephone softly drifts, tugging at their umbilical cords to electric mother. He runs forward and almost as quickly as he began he loses grip and aimlessly stars to drift. His heart drops in beats becoming an almost non-existent rhythm, every breath longer till the point where it becomes an action completely unknown and unnecessary. Time is a shallow thought, almost insane, broken life an old mechanical clock. The body tingles like a dream.

[symphonicsadness]

no im so fucking mad i should've messaged you two fucking hours ago when i fucking wanted to coz now you've gone and blocked me and it's just too late it's too fucking late and you'll never know because you didn't give me a fucking change to talk about it and i know i've been a shitty girlfriend and a shittier ex but you really take the fucking cake for this in all honestly it's probably for the best but seriously you wouldn't know i got thing if it fucking bit you on the ass so you can go fuck yourself right there buddy coz if you're not gonna message me back i fucking give up i dont even know why i thought it was a good idea anyway so thank you for that coz the last thing i need is you thinking i'm leading you on coz god knows you'd sook about that i'm just so fucking sorry and i miss you so fucking much and i fucking hate you and i don't even understand anymore i'm just so fucking emotional now.

[wonderfulwhimsicality]

I will miss you, I'll say goodbye, Time's already started to fly by. I love you, Or I did. What's past and what's present, Don't seem to mix. I'm tired, But awake. I'm losing, but gaining. I'm missing you, But it's okay. I don't really miss you at all.