i can't help but wonder if she'll even realize what she's lost. i can't help but wonder if losing me is anything to her. i'm bitter. certainly she'd like being with a man more; her sexuality sure has changed enough w her hiding it from me.
but why? why would she want to continue a relationship w me, hiding who she is? i just ask myself all the time why, why, why, why.
(mania grips him by the throat; run from the men in darkened coats)
bleh. i was just used & abused 😐 i feel like she used me to figure out who she is and then when that happened rather than end it with me she lied & then choked me when she was caught. it's awful, to feel like this, to know that someone never loved you at all
i hope she has fun getting drunk w her friends now. hope she realizes that's what her priority in life seems to be. lord knows she chooses that over me
