pt. 1
When the hero awoke for the second time that day, they found themselves in a hospital bed.
At first, their surroundings were unfamiliar enough to make them believe they had entered heaven, with those blinding lights above them. But, no. The hero's mind caught up quickly, but for some reason, they weren't quite relieved that they had survived.
They were tired.
Their eyes widened. The villain.
They wanted to get up, but they couldn't. Their entire body felt numb and although they suspected it to be the work of some kind of painkiller, they couldn't help but feel even more helpless than under the concrete.
"Hey, easy." The hero's head followed the voice and for a split second, they thought, they hoped it was the villain right beside them. "Please, have some self-respect."
It was the hero's friend. They were still dressed in their uniform, looking like they were at work, helping some injured kid. The hero cursed internally. How could they have been this weak? They were a hero, they should have been able to do more. To prevent the building from collapsing, to rescue the villain instead. They should have been the one on top of the villain, shielding them from the pain and danger.
They gritted their teeth, feeling the tears rise again.
"Hey," their friend repeated, softer this time. "Hey, do you realise how lucky you are?"
They took the hero's hand and got out of their chair, only to drop to their knees next to the hero's bed. The hero could feel the gentle grip around their bandaged hand. Their friend rested their forehead against the hero's hand they were holding onto so desperately, almost as if they were praying.
"You could have died right there. Do you know how insane that is? What on earth are we supposed to do without you?" Their friend's voice was quieter now and the hero stared. Stared at the person who had saved them countless times, the person they had rescued just as much. The person they had grown up with, studied with, worked with.
And yet, and yet, the hero didn't care about their own survival. They weren't lucky or happy or grateful that they were here. They truly loved their friend, but they feared they didn't deserve to live. Not after their incompetency.
"My nemesis," the hero croaked. "Where...?"
Their friend looked up at them and the hero's heart sank.
"I'm sorry, they are still undergoing surgery. I've been told they are probably not going to make it."
The hero's eyes were wide open, staring at their friend as if they had been told their exact time of execution.
"They saved me," the hero said. Their voice was trembling.
"I know." Their friend's voice was soft. "They seemed to have been protecting your head and vital organs on purpose."
"They saved me," the hero repeated. The tears already ran down their face again and the hero couldn't help but loathe themselves to the utmost degree.
Because of them the villain was going to die, because of them someone was fighting for their life right now. The hero swallowed the tears, but the upcoming headache didn't vanish.
It was them who was incapable. They were the problem. A lousy excuse for a hero. Someone who needed to be saved, someone who destroyed everything. They should have died right there.
"Hey, hey, hey --" Their friend stood up and brushed the tears out of the hero's face gently. "I don't know a lot about your relationship with them, but I do know that that villain in particular is always making their own choices. Them saving you says more about them than about you."
Their friend's fingertips were warm, they were soft. Oh, they were so soft. The hero could feel their heart break. They didn't deserve this. They didn't deserve any of this. Their own fingers were shaking.
They wished the building had buried them, swallowed them whole.
God, the villain had basically confessed their love back then. How on earth was the hero supposed to move on from something like this?
They couldn't. They couldn't do this alone. Their heart started racing.
There was blood under their fingernails. There had been blood everywhere. The villain had bled onto them. Because of them, because of the hero.
The panic attack crept up from behind quickly. Their heart was beating in their throat, the edges of their vision started blurring.
"Listen, you've been through a lot and-" Their friend stared at the heart rate monitor. They didn't hesitate for a second. "Quick, what's my favourite food?"
The hero closed their eyes, took in deep breaths.
"Chicken. Any recipe." Name of my first dog?
"Name of my first dog?"
"You have never had a dog," the hero said. They were out of breath already. They grabbed their friend's hand, even though it hurt. My first job?
"My first friend?" The hero opened their eyes.
"...me," they said. They took in even deeper breaths.
"That's right." Their friend smiled. "We have known each other for a long time now. I know you are blaming yourself. I know you wish it was you instead of them. But they have made a decision that you have to accept. What they did was of their own volition."
They looked at each other and for a second, the hero was convinced that their friend was right. But just as quick, their mind spiralled right back through the thick layers of blame.
"This will take time," their friend said. "And right now, it is unclear what will happen in the future. But no matter what, I am right beside you."
The hero took their time to think about their wording.
"They...they told me..." Their eyes didn't stop burning. "They told me they did everything because of me."
"I think they adore you greatly," their friend said. "When someone loves you that much, when someone gives that much of themselves to you, it is your duty to take care of yourself. That includes healing."
Their friend sat down on their chair.
"I am right here," their friend said. "I am not going anywhere."
pt. 3
