But failure brings you freedom
Seattle, WA 22 June 2026 :: iPhone 17 Pro Max :: f/2.2 1/9s :: ISO-1250
Dear Stranger;
I don't know how to express it, but I know I can't thank the city, the organisers, the spectators, fellow marathoners, and most importantly, my dearest friends enough for the experience that was this past weekend. After starting the 50th running of Grandma's Marathon full of hope and enthusiasm, my race imploded and it became a matter of surviving 20 miles and a long journey of managing legs on the verge of cramping, and accepting all that goes with that.
Before parting ways with my running buddy, we enjoyed the energy and encouragement of the volunteers working the water and aid stations, the residents along the route far, far from the finish, that cheered us on (there was a bluegrass band that serenaded us?!), and I think my inexperience go the best of me, because I was clearly pushing harder and faster but unconsciously. It was hard to slow back down, and in no time, my body let me know all resources were spent.
After parting ways with my running buddy to let her chase her own proper finish, some of the things I had to accept was crossing the finish line likely after all the celebratory structures were taken down, which was actually the easy part, because perhaps the most challenging thing was to allow myself to accept help. It started with a water bottle from a St. Louis County Sheriff as they were sweeping the course ahead. Then it came from Jerry, offering a spray of Biofreeze to help with the cramping, to exchanging words of encouragement with a bunch of fellow marathoners, to a woman working at a water station that had just shut down by the time I arrived (whom I forgot her name) that offered me a drink from her own Nalgene bottle, to Suzie, who offered not just one, but two bottles of water, and the woman that passed me and offered her own bottle of water as well.
It wasn't until the last few miles (strangers were still encouraging me after asking if I was already celebrating or if I was still making my way) and a bunch of determined text messages that my dear friends intercepted me and walked the final miles to cross the finish line. I can't thank them enough for all of the encouragement, all the support, and the thoughtfulness to ask the folks actively taking down the finish line structures if I could walk across the finish line and even those folks cheered.
When I had already accepted the possibility of not receiving a ribbon or shirt, they had already thought ahead about that as well. Well after the race, sore and stiffer than I've ever felt, these same friends helped me get home.
I've learned so much from this attempt, this trip, not just about running, but what it's like to deal ("deal") with the most amazing and supportive friends. I have a lot to carry forward, but I do so happily. I like to think that failure really does seem to bring you freedom.
I can't thank everyone enough.
Magically, -j