#contractee speaks

[mafiosoandthegang]

*hits contractee with the past trauma ray*

Okay. Cool. So we’re doing that today.

You ever feel your whole mood switch like someone snapped their fingers? Like—one second you're laughing about slushies and shiny rocks, and the next you're eight years old again trying to convince yourself you’re not crying because crying gets you in trouble.

Haha. Crazy. Love that for me.

People forget I didn't come out of nowhere with all this "weirdness." I earned my weirdness. I built it from duct tape, cartoons, and the desperate hope that if I smiled enough, no one would ask what was wrong.

They forget I had to teach myself how to act like a person. How to be loud on purpose so no one could hear the quiet. How to be annoying so no one would guess I used to go entire days without speaking.

So yeah, the Past Trauma Ray worked. Congrats. You made the silly guy go quiet. You cracked the neon egg.

👏✨Congrats on unlocking:

🔓 "Quiet Contractee"

He doesn’t say much. He just stares at the wall and picks at his hoodie string. Bonus unlock: shaky hands and the urge to hide under a table.

I’m fine. I’ll bounce back. I always do.

Just... maybe next time don’t fire emotional nukes at people like it’s a meme.

Anyway. Here’s a bunny gif so the post ends on a better note. 🐰💔

- contractee.

[mafiosoandthegang]

I know I sent you a flower earlier (on anon)

Contractee, dude you're one of the sweetest people I've seen on here (and I've only been here for what? 2 hours? Haha! I haven't met the others yet..) but keep it up man, stay as you are you're so kind and that's a great thing about you!! Hope ya feel better soon, I mean everyone seems to be helping out, yeah?!

Contractee: …Two hours in and you’re already handing out kindness like it’s free candy at a parade. That’s insanely cool of you.

You ever get one of those messages that just… hits at the exact right moment? Like the universe kinda knew you needed it, so it chucked a stranger your way with the emotional equivalent of a warm blanket and a juice box?

Anyway. You’re awesome. I hope you do meet the others. They’re a little weird, but in the fun way. Like ‘found family with criminal tendencies and a bunny obsession’ kinda weird.

And also, thank you. For, um… the flower. And the nice words earlier. You didn’t have to do all that, but I’m really glad you did.

[mafiosoandthegang]

Hope I don’t annoy you too much, but I am here with a small art for the team looking very fancy :D

Contractee: HIIII LOOK AT MEEE 💃

I LOOK LIKE A LITTLE ICE PRINCE!! WHAT IS THIS—A CAPE?? A FANCY HAT??

SPARKLES INTENSIFY

I feel like I should be throwing flower petals at people and giggling.

I look like I’m about to go to a magical ball where everyone has to wear glitter or get arrested.

I LOVE IT THANK YOU 💙💙💙

Soldier: …You drew me in ruffles.

I don’t wear ruffles.

But I’ll allow it.

Ushanka stays. Always.

The expression’s accurate, though. So is the posture.

Thanks for not making me smile.

(The simplicity is a nice touch. Subtle. You did good.)

Caporegime: YEAH. YEAH OKAY. THIS? THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I SHOULD BE DRAWN.

The suit? Immaculate.

The pose? Commanding.

The curls?? ICONIC.

I look like I just walked out of a five-star penthouse meeting to tell someone they’re about to lose everything.

Absolutely dashing. Might frame this. Might make it my lock screen.

Artist? You’ve got taste.

…

(Also thank you for not making me bald this time.)

Consigliere: …I look like I’m hosting an expensive masquerade for morally ambiguous aristocrats.

I approve.

The long coat, the cane, the silk cravat—excellent detail. Subtle use of white and gold.

Very dramatic.

It’s giving “I’ll ruin your credit score and your heart.”

Thank you.

(Again, do not show Capo. He’ll make it about himself somehow.)

[mafiosoandthegang]

ITS OKAY!!! I hope you get better and have all the love!! And don't tell the others this but I made you a vanilla mocha... <3

-🐇

Contractee: ...You made this? For me?

Oh my god. I’m not gonna cry over a drink. I won’t. I—okay, maybe just a little.

...Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me. I’ll just say the mocha fairy visited or something.

Thanks, 🐇 anon. Really. You’re the best!

[mafiosoandthegang]

Paperboy stares at Contractee. He then smiled and gave him a newspaper, the main headline being "BREAKING NEWS! CONTRACTEE IS THE COOLEST GANG MEMBER EVER!?

Then it had many compliments.

@pizzapredicament Paperboy Elliot (not a rp, tagging so I know my ask was answered...I'm Paperboy anon if it isn't taken. Also 👾(👻) anon.)

Contractee: HELLO????? HELLOOOOOOO??????????

I JUST GOT HANDED A PHYSICAL NEWSPAPER—LIKE A REAL ONE—AND IT SAYS I’M THE COOLEST GANG MEMBER EVER??????

😳🗞️🗞️🗞️🗞️🗞️🗞️🗞️🗞️🗞️🗞️😳

I’m keeping this. I’m framing this. I’m putting this on the fridge. I’m making Soldier hang it in the hallway like a proud dad who just got a report card from his weird art kid.

It has COMPLIMENTS in it. Like written out. PRINTED. IN INK.

Paperboy anon you have rendered me speechless and that’s saying something because I talk like I’m trying to win a speed round of charades most days.

Anyway. I love you. This made my entire week. No wait—my whole era.

[mafiosoandthegang]

*falls through the window* AH I WAS ALSEEP WHAT HAPPENED

Contractee you ok? Wait one moment *puts hand in pocket and gets out a Rock™️* I know you liked the rock I gave you last time so I brought over this one, it looks like a dino :)

...

*puts the rock aside and hugs him*

-Stairs

(Tbh i kinda need a hug too guess we're both not feeling that great /silly)

Contractee: STAIRS ANON YOU FELL THROUGH THE WINDOW??? WHY IS THAT THE ENTRANCE YOU ALWAYS CHOOSE—

…but also thank you.

You brought me a dinosaur rock.

That’s like. The emotional equivalent of a superhero landing and handing me a healing potion. I don’t even care that you faceplanted into the carpet. The rock’s got little speckles like tiny fossils and I already love it.

hugs back and holds tight for a sec

I missed you, you know?

I didn’t realize how much until you showed up looking like chaos incarnate and handing me prehistoric minerals.

If you need a hug too then it’s yours. Unlimited hugs. Take as many as you want.

We can be not-okay together for a while. That’s okay.

Thanks for checking on me.

Thanks for the rock.

Thanks for being Stairs.

[mafiosoandthegang]

Here’s a hug Contractee 🫂 I’ll still be giving out you hugs

but if you need, I’m here to talk to

We can bond through hugging :3

Don’t wanna shine light on myself, but you’re relatable in many ways

That’s why I adore you

(now wanna help me decide if I should be 🫂 anon or 🫐 anon (I think 🫐 is obvious who I am tho)

Contractee: ...Okay—no. Nope. Nuh-uh. You're not allowed to just—say nice things like that and then expect me to just continue existing normally. That’s illegal. I’m filing a complaint with the Hug Court.

🫂

...That being said—thank you. Really. I never know how to respond to this kinda stuff so I usually just make a dumb joke or act like I’m melting into the floor but like. I’m keeping all of it. Every word. It’s mine now. You can’t have it back. I’m hoarding the affection like a little emotional dragon.

...We can bond through hugging. I am now declaring that legal. You’re now my designated Comfort Creature. You hug, I vibe. That’s the deal.

[mafiosoandthegang]

let me put you on peak... (plays fukouna girl by stomach book on my phone for you)

Contractee: This song is so epic!!!

Caporegrime: A little strange but good

Consligere: I have no words.

Soldier: ...

Mafioso: The song is good.