#control feelings

[under-the-screen]

Flaw

[“The story of Adele H.”, F. Truffaut, 1975]

[to-the-journey]

You are responsible for your feelings and only your feelings (not anyone else’s) Take responsibility for your feelings without pushing them off onto others. Know your feelings and express them without blaming others. You are not a victim to your feelings. You are in control of how you feel.

[beingbrillianteveryday-blog]

How To Control Your Feelings

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Summary

Learning how to control feelings is perhaps the most important skill you can ever develop in your life. If you learn to regulate your own emotional state it means no one or thing can ever make you feel a way you don't want to feel. Imagine if worry was optional. Joy was something you put on in the morning like your favourite t-shirt.

This ability is possible for us all, but it takes practice. Developing this skill will be the biggest leap forward in your personal development journey.

In order to do it. First you must become aware of your current emotional state. Then you must develop a repertoire of positive emotional states that are familiar to you. There is no point trying to shift your state if you have nothing good to shift into.

Once you can do this you have complete control over how you experience life, no matter what comes your way.

Transcript

Should you control your feelings?

It was a question that came up at a conference we were speaking at recently, of isn't it a bit manipulative to actually control your feelings?

Well, actually it is just yourself that is having these feelings.  You are not really manipulating or trying to change anything.  It is not about trying to be deceitful or anything like this.

It is really just about giving yourself choices.  Just as the Dalai Lama says, like does he ever get angry?  He says, “Yes, I do of course.  I am human”.  It is not normal for a human being not to get angry.  The point is he doesn't stay there.  It might be useful to get angry for awhile.  It might must happen.  Then he can shift himself to a different feeling.

Really, it is absolutely critical to be able to control feelings, because life is not about things.  Like is about experiences.  Now, so many people get caught up in a bigger house, the faster car, or the yacht, or the sailboat.  What ever it is.

Those things are all just trying to move towards getting a feeling.  You know a feeling a sense of security.  Because I have got this house, which means I am safe.  My mortgage is paid off, or it could be a sense of excitement, or whatever it is that feeling is trying to do.  Life is really about not the things.  It is about the experiences and then it is about the feelings that are created from those experiences.  

The control really is not about manipulation.  It is just about giving yourself more choices to have a deeper more fulfilling, happy, joyful, or whatever emotion you want, LIFE.  

Because once you get control over that then you can choose how you show up.  How you interact with other people.  

How do you start?  How do you really get control?

First thing is, you have got to become aware.  You have to start noticing the feelings

Now, one thing we have done to help you with this is we have created an App called the Universe of Emotions.  Which can really help you start to explore what is it that you are feeling.  Then beyond just what it is that you are feeling is how do you then actually go from a point of okay I am on this emotional planet when there is a strong gravity.  How do I start shifting myself off it?  

The first thing is you have to decide that okay I want to move myself.  It is not good to be on this planet.  If you are on a very negative emotion.  Negative emotions are really the highway to disease.  They start breaking down the body.  They start effecting your immune system.  Not being able to fight back.  That should always be number one.

How is it helping in terms of health?  Also, how effective are you on this negative planet?  I mean to solving the problem.  I mean if you are in a state of annoyed or frustrated.  How much is that helping you overcome the problem?  Whereas if you shifted yourself to a determined or passionate or energized.  You could probably overcome that problem much easier. How do you do that?  Well, you have to start building a repertoire of positive emotions that you are familiar with.  One way you can do that is just to start to think back to times where you felt these positive emotions and start to notice what the sensations were I your body.

Even better than that.  In the moment try and notice when you are feeling a certain emotion.  If it is a positive one start noticing.  Start writing things down.  Then you will have almost these emotional jackets or emotional planets that you know what they look and feel like.  That is when you are on another emotional time that you want to shift.  You will know what to step into.

If you don't have any of those things already prepared it is very hard to move yourself.  If you want to just stop and start inducing that positive emotion.  Just like you might do other things.  Like going for a walk or phoning a friend.  You know having something to eat to change your emotional state.  Just see if you can do it just by you trying to trigger it out of choice.  If you can learn to do that then you will get control over what is driving you.  What is driving your feelings, your thinking, and therefore your behaviours and the results you are getting.  

If you do that, you truly can be brilliant everyday.

Please like and share with your friends. 

[findingpositiveperspective]

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