Feb 21, 2022
my most salient thought of the day was I think lan wangji might have had anxiety as a teenager and he managed it fairly well with meditation and music
#convenient...#another reason he saw wwx was struggling post sunshot and he went he needs music...he needs to calm the mind...#like obviously it's related to cultivation too but he was just tense all the time#and yeah I know repression and internal conflict lead to that#but he doesn't express nervousness in ways that are always immediately recognizable so if he had anxiety#maybe it would manifest differently too. like a very internal breakdown#its what I imagine he was going through in yiling when a'yuan attached himslf to his leg#he looked like he was about to faint. anxiety attack?#I recognize it's a bit of a stretch but I feel like he gets nervous in a lot of ways#that aren't readily recognized#and I think the contrast of the ~most peaceful~ character often managing nerves like that is interesting#in present day hes calmed down a lot so maybe it was only in his youth but maybe it comes back every once in a while#it just fits I mean he was a super intense perfectionist with a lot of responsibility#post inspired by valdrift saying he cant drive be he made a mistake once and now he refuses and ut makes him nervous#i was like yeah...he DOES get nervous doesnt he#cql txp
