#conversation 3

[sindylc]

Conversation #3

Relax and be myself. It’s natural to think about what I am going to say before I say it. Don’t “over-check” though. I’ve probably heard of the saying “analysis, paralysis” When I think too hard about what I am going to say before I make a comment, I’ll end of literally talking myself out of it. I’ll also get distracted and struggle to listen because I am concentrating on myself too much.

> My MON…

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[je-ne-sais-french]

[je-ne-sais-french]

[reallifeconversations-blog]

Conversation 3

Girl: Can I ask you something?

Boy: *Excitedly* Yes

Girl: Did you do your math homework so you can give it to me cuz I didn't do it.

Boy: (In his mind): Dammit

Boy: (In real life): Ok fine here ya go. HAPPY?

[take--tw0-blog]

Aradia and Sollux (Conversation #3)

ollux: Sollux quietly let himself be led to Aradia's room, staying quiet as they walked, his ears twitching nervously. He had no idea what was going to happen, but he was fairly certain it was nothing he could look forward to.

Aradia: Aradia wasn’t sure if she could do this, actually face her fears or explain them, so far she had been doing a good job of avoiding any confrontation. But now, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to even try and confront this quadrent issue. She just needed to talk, maybe about Dave, that was a good place to start right? When they arrived in her room she closes the door and leads sollux onto her bed plopping down on the cushiony surface. “You never answered my question earlier, If you were okay after the fusion thing, you sounded pretty panicked..”

Sollux: He pursed his lips slightly, hesitantely settling down on her bed with her, but keeping his distance. "Does it matter? I'm fine, anyway. It was just weird. I couldn't see what was going on, so..." he trailed off a little, shrugging a bit. Trying very hard not to be too bitter about this entire situation.

Aradia: She noticed how he was keeping his distance and how that meant distrust, her mind fills up with foggy memories of Dave training on earth. She shakes her head trying to stay focus, She curls up hugging her knees quietly mumbling “I just wanted to make sure that’s all, It was weird for everyone I think, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to face Dave for a while… ” She trails off before going quite again debating weither to mention the memmoiries.

Sollux: He frowned a little, just shrugging. "I dunno." he said slowly, narrowing his eyes. What exactly was going on here right now? "Just. Talk to him, I guess? Might as well." he mumbled, shrugging a bit and turning to the side slightly. What was she expecting him to say here?

Aradia: This really wasn’t going anywhere, just meaningless words filling space she knew this too, but still it was sort of helping. She figured Sollux was probably right, she would have to talk to him eventually. As hard as it was facing him again and facing the mistakes she made with him, She still trusted him, She still felt something for him. The least she could do was show that, she speaks in a distracted tone “I have his memories, Earth, his friends, the session all of it.” She just constantly gets stuck in these bad situations.

Sollux: He shifted uncomfortably, biting the inside of his cheek. "That's... weird. I watched most of his life, on the screen, with Terezi. But, I'm guessing that's not anywhere near the same as actually having the memories..." he said, trailing off slightly.

Aradia: “I wouldn’t know, I was paying attention to other things on the meteor. I wasn’t really there..” She wasn’t there for him either, She just caused bad situations and quadrent complications. She was probably making Sollux uncomfortable with this anyways, bring up her meaningless problems. This was starting to hurt again feeling her blood pumper sink deeper and deeper into her chest. She hugs her knees tighter and looks ahead mumbling, “It is very weird, I guess, sorry for bringing it up”

Sollux: He grits his teeth slightly in frustration, huffing a little. "Then why am I here? What are we supposed to be doing?" he asked, fighting to keep his voice level. What, did she just want to drag him up here because she thought she could just use him for some no-strings-attached jam or something? It didn't work like that! If she didn't want to be with him, FINE, but then she couldn't USE him for her own benefit, either!

Aradia: She flinches freezing up, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go, and talking was supposed to help but instead. She was making things worse again, like before all of this, like history was still doomed to repeat itself. She wished it was easier and she wasn’t so ashamed to face him or her fears, but no if she learned anything from growing up and their session is that things are never easy. She looks down and speaks in a quiet voice “Sorry, I just wanted to talk to someone if..” Her throat feels dry, her stomach gets twisted in knots again. She has to stubbornly reminded herself that its better this way, that he deserved better than her. “If you want to go you can I still need to figure some things out..”

Sollux: He sighed loudly, getting to his feet and running his fingers through his hair. "Look, AA. I'm pretty sure you know how I feel about you. Like, jesus, it was painful sometimes how not-subtle and awkward I was." he mumbled, rolling his eyes. "And if you don't want that or whatever, fine. That's fine. It sucks but I can't. I can't really be angry if you're not pale for me or don't wanna be around me or anything. I get it. But don't fucking shut me down in front of a bunch of other people or avoid me or act like you don't wanna be around me, and then pull me aside for a fucking. One night stand or whatever the hell this is when you're having a rough time. I want you to be okay but I'm not your fucking friend with benefits or whatever, I'm not gonna sit here and jam with you just so you can use me and then turn around and go back to avoiding this all over again and leave me feeling like shit and having no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. If you want something, SAY SO. I'm tired of mixed signals and dancing around the topic and having to flounder through everything. It sucks. A lot. And I hate it. So if you need to figure shit out just. Stop stringing me along while you do it. Alright? I'll be around if you want to ACTUALLY talk, like, about US, and not just spew your feelings about Dave to me. Okay?" he said, taking a deep breath when he was finally done rambling and tripping over his words before turning and making as quick an exit as he could, slipping off to the safety of his own room again.