#copingwithptsd

[nikimariafl]

#miami driving home after my heart doctor today! I love how perfect the day was. It was 100% perfect in south Florida. Love days like today. I love cities too! Anyone else have a favorite city? Mine is definitely New York because that's my home, where my heart is. Xo #copingwithptsd #panicdisorder #generalizedanxietydisorder #panic #panicattacks #anxiety #anxietyattacks #anxietyawareness #miamiflorida #beautifulweather #blueskiesahead #dysautonomia #autonomicdysfunction

[ineveroutgrewmyteenangst-blog]

Day Three.

I have recently decided to adopt a completely different approach at battling PTSD. I’m now attempting a more passive, and less aggressive attitude towards everyone and everything. Instead of fighting with people, I stay upstairs and distract myself.  Instead of lashing out, I repress until I can get to a place to meditate. The following things, however, still remain triggers, and I need to either work it out, or remove all these types of people from my life:

*Passive aggression -- I refuse to deal with people who cannot be as straight up with me as I am with them. If you have a problem with me and cannot tell me why the second I commit the act. I don’t want to be confused later. I am absent minded as hell. Tell me now, or we cannot coexist.

*Shit talkers/pretenders/liars -- If you’re saying something to my face, make sure it’s the same thing you’re saying behind my back. I don’t take kindly to those with more than one distinctive face.

*BUTTHURT/THIRSTY DUDES -- Even if I wasn't in a relationship, your nonsense is just childish. Fuck off.

*Inflated Self Worth/Self Righteous -- If you are constantly trying to put me down, you have to go. We were all created equals to begin with. Your phone bill is not more important than my cancer medication, and your answer will not help absolutely EVERYONE in the world. Please stop.

*People who play victim/master manipulators -- If you have to make everything someone else’s fault, cannot accept responsibility for your own actions, or like to twist words around to have the upper hand, get the fuck out.

*Trying to explain shit to people who give half a fuck -- Yeah, I don’t even

Everything else, I cope with fairly well. I’ve been doing relatively okay, and my panic attacks are starting to subside by themselves. This is day three in control of my own life.

[ineveroutgrewmyteenangst-blog]

Self Love.

Sometimes I have to ask myself, "Is there something wrong with me?" Everyone that promises to stay through hell Always abandon me; they just leave. Maybe it isn't me at all, I've given them all I've got. Maybe it's time to let these leeches fall; I guess it could be worth a shot.

To give my self esteem a chance And finally be able to excel. After years and years of the silent treatment, My soul has gone through hell Trying to find a place big enough To fit in someone's heart. My only need in this entire world Was love from the start.

I had never actually realized till today That it was ME I needed all along. I was looking for myself in everyone else, And of course I always felt wrong! For I had been too blind to see That loving yourself first is key And you can call me a narcissist-- But no one can love me better than me.

Now that I love myself, I see All the people who made me so small Don't actually give a fuck about me, So I can function without them all. In a world of black and white No one can ever make me cry I have finally seen the light, And no one's opinion about me is more valid than MINE.