Trauma and grief were a large part of my adolescent life. I spent my teenage years surviving many losses and learning to cope with the darkness that filled my developing mind. Everyone has a different sensitivity level to trauma. Trauma for me was haunting. I had flashbacks, I experienced unforgiving depressive episodes where even the colors of the world were muted tones that drifted passed me. I felt that life was calling for my participation and I wanted so badly to pause it like a movie and to buy time to choose to live. During that time, I was so broken, I felt that I was the definition of unloveable, marred, roadkill, and lacking and resemblance of beauty. Today, I reflect on those moments and I realize, the brokenness I survived was the most beautiful thing about me. It created the strong, kind, compassionate woman I am today. The friend, mother, daughter, niece, cousin, etc. that loves with healthy boundaries and a new understanding of myself that helps me to survive and thrive. . If today feels like the last day of your life, if today you want to give up so you don’t have to fight anymore. If today you are facing down the choice to give up or face the pain; I ask you to let the darkness out in writing, music, poetry, dance, painting, coloring, sports, sculpting. If you choose life for today, it is a moment for you to fight back, bringing you closer to yourself. You are beautiful no matter how broken, lost, or empty you feel. You are worthy, no matter how insignificant you feel. You are valuable, no matter how insufficient you feel. You are breathing, despite how dead you might feel inside. I would rather sit with you then any person who has never felt this way before, because you are more beautiful and precious to me than anything else in the world. You are the key to saving the lives that will end too early, please let these words be the force of your strength when you can’t see the light. 7 Cups is a free place to talk to someone anonymously, and free, the link is in my bio. You aren’t alone! https://www.instagram.com/p/CXgO2SWLOor/?utm_medium=tumblr