#copper dariah

[soullessbullshit]

Razum-dar: Things to never say to someone who just came out. Go!

Khoshekh: “I’m gayer.”

Naryu: “In that outfit?”

Copper Dariah: “You still owe me 250 gold.”

[soullessbullshit]

Malek: “Go to hell” is too weak a curse to throw at people. Hit them where it hurts, like “I hope all your soups in the future have a faint bad metal taste no matter what you order or make.”

Gabrielle: “I hope your sleeves roll down while washing your hands.”

Marisette: “You should remember that embarrassing thing you said right before you go to sleep tonight.”

Cassian: “I hope your monster husband gets turned into a marketable eboy.”

Kaleen: “When you’re in the desert, I hope you find water by stepping in a puddle in your socks.”

Darien: “Your bread shall never toast correctly!”

Clarisse: “I pray every book you read ends on a cliffhanger that’s never mentioned in the following book.”

Skordo: “I hope all cats hate you.”

Copper Dariah: “I hope that every shoe you put on has a thorn in the threading inside the sole, so when you pull it out, it ruins the shoe, so you have to live with it digging into the bottom of your foot, or have a hole in the shoe for other shit to get in.”

Stibbons: “May you never find a matching pair of socks again.”

Jakarn: “May all your popsicles have exactly one splinter in the stick.”

[soullessbullshit]

Copper Dariah, reading an arrest transcript: “Girl, you’re thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.”

Jakarn, in manacles: [nods affirmatively]

[soullessbullshit]

Copper Dariah: Whore.

Razum-dar: And what about it?

Copper Dariah: Nothing. It suits you.

[soullessbullshit]

Copper Dariah: You know, you’re really going places.

Gabrielle: Thank y-

Copper Dariah: Hospital, lawsuit, or the evening news. It’s at least one of those three places.