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daisy chains

summary: james and cordelia are not lovers, well, that’s how cordelia sees it.

word count: 5.8k

cordelia winced, she watched lucie collapse on the stairs of the institute from exhaustion. they were both covered in blood, their own and otherwise, disheveled and distraught. cordelia was tempted to follow her parabatai’s example or jump in front of her to soften her blow but she couldn’t.

the grand entrance door opened and william herondale ran down to his daughter. he took her in his arms and lifted her as he exchanged a frightened look with cordelia, he had questions, ones she didn’t know how to start answering. tessa herondale also made her way down with forced composure as she ran to the jolly group.

there was a silence as she scanned her eyes to assess the situation as she always did. “lucie will be alright my love” she told her husband as she took lucie's pulse, she began encouraging him up the stairs and they reached inside. cordelia had never seen mr herondale so fragile and vulnerable but then again one would be with their limp child in their arms.

“there aren’t any serious wounds mr and mrs herondale, she will just need some rest” cordelia only whispered this but it startled both of them. as she said this her parabatai began to stir and regain consciousness. perfect timing as always.

from there on, everything seemed to blur for cordelia, lucie got attended to and since neither has serious injuries she began to explain the evening to her family.

cordelia felt numb, she didn’t acknowledge the cloth bridget was dabbing at the slice on her collarbone to shoulder, nor the breathless animated voice of lucie as she told everything. tessa was quizzing lucie’s recollection for any signs of dark or powerful magic but they didn’t recall anything.

the arberg’s had disappeared two weeks previously, they were an acclaimed member of the clave so their vanishing had set all the shadowhunters on alert but it didn’t directly impact anyone at the institute. lucie and cordelia had been investigating a string of murders of werewolves and didn’t see the connection with the powerful warlock, theo conall until it was too late.

perhaps they were both lead into a trap or conall had simply been multitasking to the highest extreme but when lucie and cordelia visited his residence to ask about some fair folk connected to the moon children he was acquainted with, they didn’t expect to hear the shrill screams of amelia arberg.

the trained servants and friends protecting him were effective, dedicated and loyal. their blood shed as lucie and cordelia made their way towards amelia who couldn’t have been more than 5 years old. cordelia wasn’t unfamiliar to battles, they had become as natural to her as a ball dance but seeing the child amidst it all was unsettling for her nerves.

her strokes were slopier, her punches not as accurate as usual, all because her eyes kept going back to the child. once they had soaked the mansion with blue and red blood, cordelia stepped over the purple mix and grabbed the little.

conall had escaped but one problem at a time. here was a missing child trembling with terror and as cordelia followed her eyes, there they were, her parents, disembodied and on display for their child to see all.

cordelia and lucie walked a great distance to find a coach with amelia hanging from cordelia's side. amelia was here, desperately clinging to cordelia’s side on the couch. her cries aren’t as loud as they were before, they are tired, hitched dry tears of a child that can’t stop crying. some of the blood on cordelia has transferred onto her tiny hands and bright red, strained cheeks. cordelia had made no effort to comfort her, she was still a lifeless statue staring at the floor of the institute drawing room.

she began to register there were other people there, too many of them. will herondale has a cool composure about him as he called for amelia’s nearest relatives to be contacted immediately, for the enclave to assemble at conall’s manor to judge the crime scene and with a quick nod to lucie, he left.

cordelia saw lucie drop to her chair with a whine and her brother was at her side telling her to go rest or eat, bombarding her with worried statements. tessa herondale was knelt in front of her trying to stroke amelia’s hair and soothe her into releasing her grip on cordelia to no avail. matthew and james rose in unison as they declared they would go and help mr herondale. cordelia wasn’t sure with one of them spoke but they left too.

the room felt colder even though a mighty fire was blazing in the fireplace. as the night sunk in, cordelia left amelia to tessa’s gentle care. she bathed herself, and tried her best to forget the paralyzing face amelia had given her when she first noticed her in the manor. she shouldn’t be so shocked and unnerved, she was a shadowhunter and disturbing scenes like those are to be expected but how she had never thought she would experience a mission like that so soon.

a knock on her door presented matthew who had returned as all business with the clave had been settled and the hunt for conall had been taken over by an elite team of senior shadowhunters. “amelia's uncle has come to collect her, lucie is already receiving his thanks and she insisted that you wouldn’t want to join but i thought i’d ask just the same” he declared in his relaxed manner. “no thank you matthew, lucie was right, i don’t want to join at all” he nodded and told her that dinner will be served to her and lucie in their room and left with an encouraging and pitying smile.

cordelia was glad she could confide in lucie who understood her better than anyone else could. after finishing their meal, lucie lies her head on cordelia’s shoulder and rants of the catastrophe that is today. lucie was always so good with her words that it comforted her better than anything. lucie can word all the stress and anxieties of the day so perfectly that cordelia didn’t need to speak them aloud herself.

lucie left after her therapeutic rant with her parabatai to visit her parents to no doubt do more of the same and hug her mother and father who eagerly awaited all day for a private conversation with her. since cordelia’s parents were not there to do the same for her, she tried to escape her self pity by running to the library.

cordelia had always been fascinated by flowers. the way people use the plant to express their feelings in a way they can’t with words interests her. two of her favourite volumes of flower related books lay in front of her. she listlessly flipped through the scientific explanations and research for care of flowers, her eyes never left bright detailed illustrations of various species. she was enthralled by their mysteries and natural beauty. then the oak door swung open to filter even more light into the room.

it was james, he stood by the door for a few seconds as she slowly closed her books and lay them on the table, he was hesitant in his steps, cordelia didn’t understand why. nowadays he has become more distant and awkward around her. she hated it, she wished she could shake him and stop that uneasiness that always flashed in his eyes.

he made his way around to her side and grabbed the top book to flick through, he was trying to busy himself and she was impatient, she knew why he was here and what they had become to expect from each other. his golden eyes looked around the room, avoiding her. she wished he hadn’t come now, he seems so uncomfortable and bored of her even though he hadn’t even made the effort to greet her.

“james” she caved and his eyes snapped to hers. finally, she thought. she loved it when he looked at her, she never wanted to pay attention to his other facial expressions because when he looked at her, she felt she had free access to view his golden eyes. she loved the different shades that run through them as though he had trapped the heart of the sun itself in his eyes. they always burnt her own eyes to look at.

he reached for her as she ignored his worried frown. he gently grabbed her neck and pulled her head closer while simultaneously wrapping his arms around her waist. he closed his eyes, always did before their lips were even aligned, maybe he’s memorised where they’ll always be. cordelia’s hands shly stroked up his arms and rested on his shoulders.

his soft lips met hers and they exchanged gentle small pecks that deepened into long kisses. cordelia used all her composure to refrain from moaning and biting on his lips. her form was still and stiff, she didn’t want it to be that way but she was too afraid to move onto him, to ignite the kiss with a passion that james won’t reciprocate. this meant that she only let james lead as he pleased. it felt too fragile, if she were to move her hands up the back of his neck and tug at his hair like she craved to, he might snap away, she was certain he would.

they may have kissed countless times now but it somehow never felt intimate. cordelia never felt like they were lovers, contrary to what anyone looking from the outside would think. they would think they were young inexperienced lovers that are coy in their courtship. they are not lovers, there is no courtship, james isn’t shy. cordelia knew why he wanted this distance, the softness separated them, made it easier for him to pretend it was any other woman. cordelia was sure of this, it was the only explanation for why else would his kisses taste of grace blackthorn.

cordelia felt used, she had liked to think she had too much respect for herself to allow this to continue but she was lying to herself. her desperation for james herondale had gotten the best of her and she would still take this, however little it may be, it was still a bit of james.

5 minutes later and james pulled away. his swollen lips and darkened eyes lightened her heavy heart only for a moment. of course he looks beautiful, slightly panting for air and gazing at his arms still around her waist. he was the first to pull away and cordelia the one to leave, in keeping to this routine they had developed, cordelia rose and went straight for the door with no glance nor word to james.

cordelia laid in her bed and stared at the ceiling as lucie lightly snored. she didn’t want to cry about it, she had grown too tired of that. james had first kissed her 4 months back in the empty drawing room as the humming summer sun shone upon them. it had gone just the same as today, only matthew had barged in and they were forced to jump apart.

at the time, cordelia had not noticed the coldness of his fiery eyes. she had even entertained the idea of james confessing his love for her. the memory forced a sarcastic chuckle to leave her in the dark room. she waited and waited, thought he was drafting and redrafting a letter but that never came, the very next week cordelia saw him passionately latch at grace blackthorns lips in a quiet room at a ball in the institute.

but she still waited and pined for the kisses that followed even though james never spoke of them to her. he never addressed it but repeated it. everytime they were alone he held her and so sweetly planted the uniform kisses but they both parted and pretended it never happened. what good would come of it? for him to tell her what she already knows? there is no need to hear james confirm that she is a replacement for grace when he is not with his only love, cordelia didn’t think she was brave enough to bear those words spoken aloud by the only man she truly loved.

****

james sat on his writing desk. glaring at the paper as through it had deeply offended him. he had become confused and decided that he would write all his thoughts, however tangled and distorted, hoping that when he looked back at it with fresh eyes, they would make sense. how wrong he was. the drawer under the desk is littered with past attempts.

james had sworn his love for grace blackthorn to the world. he loves her deeper than any ocean his poets wrote about. he adored her, her clear eyes that had inspired him to become a poet himself, grace had made him try, and fail, to express his love for her in grand words and exuberant phrases. but he couldn’t find any, his sister was the one who was gifted with the pen to write her emotions in a way james could only read and enthusiastically agree with.

again, grace. he had committed himself to her. he has given her his heart to do with as she pleases. anyone who knew him was aware of her mark on him and he wore it proud, prouder than if it were a medal. so why would he so much as dare question his own loyalty to his grace. there is no other and all these letters have grace’s name for it was her he was destined to love.

deception was no use. he cannot lie to himself as convincingly as he has been lying to others recently. he had kissed cordelia. it was no accident. no heat of the moment bout of lust. he had noticed cordelia in a different way. his sister’s parabatai was not one whose beauty lashed onto you. it was gradual, first he noticed her laugh, how sweet and warm it made him feel. then her touch, something as innocent and (previously) meaningless as exchanging books made his fingers tingle. at night he would trace where she had stroked with his other hand and stare in confusion but he sure did find many other excuses to make sure it was repeated. “here take my pen daisy” “pass those to me, i will carry them for you” etc. and so gradually, the daisies sprouted in the garden of his mind, erratically and turned into a field.

they had been too much, cordelia’s pull, her soft hair, dewy skin and plump lips consumed him. how reckless, insolent, unacceptable for him to act on it. he owed her an explanation or better still an apology. he thought a love letter would suffice, so he did try, the very time he first kissed her. but it sounded pathetic, she would laugh at his face, demand the truth, how could someone so publicly dedicated to grace blackthorn write her a letter like this.

he had meant everything he said in the first one, the one under all it’s other 20 or so more revised, though less honest copies. but a letter won’t do, he has left it too late. james herondale has somehow managed to procrastinate on a love letter. but maybe the word “love” is too strong for these letters, they are confessions from a sinner unsure of his sin. he recognises the carnage he has caused but cordelia doesn’t seem to react to it, she seems indifferent, uninterested in his feelings. she leaves every time they kiss, with james confused and frustrated behind her. he never has the courage to tell her to stay.

and so the latest extract of his knotted mind he pulled onto ink. he cannot help but compare. does his adoration for cordelia touch graces? no surely not. he thinks of cordelia’s bright eyes when she talks of flowers in her garden, the beaming smile when asked about a weapon she had clearly been waiting for someone to address. james always envied the one who asked before him, he had made a note to try and beat them to it whenever he next sensed an excitement in her waiting to be unleashed. but he had not acted on it, in his own stupidity, he had kissed her instead.

grace however giggled after they kissed. he is not ashamed to say it makes him proud to see the slightest blush crawl up her pearl white cheeks. but cordelia never giggled, never so much as smiled. this weighed on him, he should kiss her better, hold her more freely, embrace her more, show her all these words he can’t say. he shrinks when the time comes, a coward again. she strips him of his courage, his bravery and senses.

****

the carriage halts outside the institute, lit with lights and melodic music. cordelia was fidgeting with her gloves, which her mother didn’t fail to point out. cordelia waited for alastair to exit before following herself after her mother. she hadn’t been to the institute for a week now, she hadn’t read the invitation either and wasn’t sure what or whom welcomed such a celebration which she didn’t speak aloud to save herself the embarrassment.

she saw the institute full of life and walked the steps that now had such a horrid memory ingrained into her steps. cordelia was still reeling, she felt uneasy and couldn’t process her experience in a way she knew she was expected to. as a shadowhunter, no one would assume it was the results of a mission that set her mouth in a frown or produced the paled expression masking her face from the sleepless nights. She found comfort in her parabatai’s letters and now, warm welcome and hug. through it all, she still has her lucie.

the institute decor was spectacular, she expected nothing less from the herondale couple and their restless desire to make others feel welcomed. these gatherings however, have become an inconvenience to cordelia. she had been overjoyed at first, of course, but as each event became repetitive — being asked about her father, her “unique” characteristics and “unconventional” charm have become exhausting. there’s only so many backhanded compliments she could take. “what a pretty dress, it works so well despite your complexion”. if the whole building was emptied save the musicians and lucie, she would never feel this way.

it was later in the evening when she noticed james herondale. he looked breathtaking. black hair framing his structured face and glowing eyes. his lips were sliding into a grin as he listened intently to someone she didn’t recognise. she was starting, and instantly made her way to the refreshment table in hopes no one around her saw the blush she felt burning her cheeks.

she sighed to herself and felt tired. of james. she was tired of being captivated by him, of being addicted to him. she didn’t want to feel this way anymore, she knew she had repeated this argument with herself so many times before with no definitive answers. but this time, something had changed, she looked into the garden of the london institute and saw a bunch of lilies she once saw james give to grace and knew it would never be otherwise.

****

cordelia was waiting for lucie in the small drawing room of the london institute on a rainy winter day. she and her parabatai were due in a boutique south for their final fittings, cordelia’s mother was to meet them there in two hours. cordelia never bought any item of clothing without her mother’s approval. this unquestioned arrangement made her feel like a child and suffocated by the control her mother demonstrated in every aspect of her life, but she knew if she were to challenge it, the consequences would be dire.

cordelia was caught up on the pitter-patter of rain and her thoughts so she didn’t notice james enter. she gave a stiff but polite greeting and resumed into her silence. she hadn’t talked to james for a month and she could physically feel the distance the time had created.

james seemed very agitated and uncomfortable. his brows were knotted and his lips lined in a frown. although she must admit the effect was appealing, she did not like being the cause of this expression. cordelia had admittedly been avoiding him and the atmosphere in the room made it evident she was within reason. but this was for the best, she told herself, it gave her room to find someone else, someone who will love her.

they didn’t speak for some time, then suddenly in a cautionary whisper, james spoke.”cordelia” she met his eyes and was startled to see him watery eyed. “what’s the matter james? are you well? goodness what has happened?” she felt panicked. this display of emotions was rare for james.

“calm daisy, i apologise, there is nothing the matter” james said as he wiped at his tears and straightened himself. cordelia felt bewildered and knew james could see it on her face because he gave a soft cuckle. “don’t stress on my accord, i'm quite well” he offered but cordelia wasn’t convinced but at the same time she didn’t want to press any further. she didn’t know if she was any longer in his confidence.

after a prolonged and painful silence, james abruptly stood and strode to stand in front of cordelia with an air of purpose. he proclaimed “cordelia. I believe I have made a catastrophic mistake and i don’t know how to fix it but i will try” he met her wide and perplexed eyes. her head tilt made it obvious, he needed to specify. “it is regarding my behaviour towards you these past months..” he whispered.

cordelia’s face snap to the floor and rigid composure in her posture as if physically shouting at him to stop without saying a word. he resumed. “I have behaved in a disgraceful manner that is disrespectful towards you… I apologise, i know i should have done so earlier but daisy.. I'm pathetically afraid of you” he saw cordelia’s brows knit and she began to glare at him. she felt herself get angry at him but unlike those other time, she didn’t try to be kind to him, she will be fair to herself.

james started fumbling with his jacket pockets and pulled neverending letters and notes. he gathered them all in a pile in one hand and gestured for cordelia to receive them. she hesitantly reached for them and let them rest on her lap, looking between the letters and james with suspicious eyes. “I've tried.. time and time again but they never turned out right so i thought that if you saw them all, maybe you could decipher my meaning” james desperately explained. “i am not lucie, daisy i don’t know how to explain these feelings i don’t understand myself and i’ve been frantically searching but finding a poem or prose by the perfect poet or artist more talented than me to encapsulate how you make my heart tremble has been impossible. i can’t find the combination of words and i have failed time and time again to physically show you yet-” he was breathlessly ranting and stopped himself when he noticed the horrified look on cordelia’s usually calm face.

he stood unsure and walked back to his seat. cordelia saw his eyes shut as he tried to control his breathing, he opened his golden eyes and set them on her. she felt her cheeks reddening and held her breath. “I do not expect you to reciprocate my…” he started again. “read them daisy, then and only then tell me what you think of me, command me as you please and I will comply without question, only… give my muddled words a chance” he bowed his head and left her.

****

james practically ran upstairs to his room, alarming his mother and beryl in the hallway. he began pacing around his room, trying to level his breathing and cool the heat that was burning his face.

just when he thought he had finally found composure, he felt regret claw it’s way at him. what if she never spoke to again? that would be torturous, not to even get a reaction, if this silenced her, oh by the angel, he felt panicked. what if she was disgusted in him and she distanced herself from the institute. he sunk deep into his armchair and brooded until dinner.

****

james felt nauseous and his pale skin and tight lips had not gone unnoticed. “what’s the matter with you jamie? is it your repulsive suit, if so, you shouldn’t worry, nobody expects anything more from you” matthew gave a very backhanded compliment as a form of reassurance. james frowned his eyebrows “what’s wrong with it” he began self consciously running his down his jacket. that wasn’t a source of distress for him but it sure was now.

matthew chuckled and slapped james’ back. “only a joke jamie… would you like to leave, i know a better place we could go” james considered this. the lightwoods had an evening garden party that his aunt cecily and uncle gabriel had been planning for weeks. it would be rude to leave. it was beautifully decorated. the garden had been decorated by witchlights that trailed around the perimeter, creating a soft source of light that made their humble gardan look enchanted, as though you had been drawn to it by mischievous pixies.

he will stay, he needed to be here tonight. he hadn’t seen cordelia in 2 weeks and it was eating away at him every waking and sleeping moment. he had become restless. this must be how mundane purgatory was. he awaited cordelia’s sentence. will she send him to a hell without her or a paradise where they were forever side by side? he was biting at his lips and mindlessly mingled through society. he felt like he was watching himself move through a smudged mirror. he knew his friends were joking and laughed in unison with them when he didn’t hear the joke. he’s vaguely aware of grace’s presence on his left, her eyes on him but he doesn’t respond. he had ended their agreement weeks back and although this earned him quizzical looks from his family and friends, he didn’t regret it. grace would not have a problem finding suitors, she attracted eligible young men like moths to a flame.

then he sees cordelia and everything starts to clear and she glows, shining her light on everyone around her. she is laughing at some private joke with lucie. he felt his stomach flip and instant jealousy towards lucie. his feets had already carried him towards her. james somehow kept the panic at bay. cordelia was looking at him with expectant eyes. he should say hello, yes, let’s start with that. he gave a slight bow and made his greeting, a bit less casual than usual and lucie must have noticed for her eyebrows rose.

“cordelia” he spoke her name and a weight felt lifted from him as though he had said a prayer. “may i please have a moment of your time” he spoke low and quietly so that only she would hear. “of course” she said with a polite smile as they silently moved to a quieter area where you could hear the chirping of crickets.

when he turned to face her, he was speechless for a second. she was breathtaking, her soft curly and fiery hair made her seem ethereal. it made him feel like he was seeing an angel no mortal had any right to see. she turned her face to the floor and james realised the second had lasted longer than he thought. he opened his lips to speak but none of his speeches came forth.

she evidently had more courage and spoke. she raised her head and whispered in a way a queen announces a command. “james my mama will notice if i am gone for too long” that was not what james had expected but he understood. mrs carstairs was very particular about cordelia’s whereabouts and he didn’t want to get her in any type of trouble.

“have you read my letters?” james fiddled with the rings on his fingers and couldn’t look at her. she answered shortly that she had but didn’t elaborate. “and what are.. what do you make of them?” cordelia took a few steps away from him and turned back to him. james was terrified now, more than he ever remembered being. he saw the blade that was executing him but it was cordelia’s words.

“i think it cruel you would let me read them and i wish for us to return to the way we were before” james’ eyes widened. “cruel?.. no you must have misunderstood my letters” he tried reaching towards her but she backed away. “then what was I supposed to understand from them?” james gave a slight scoff. surely she hadn’t read them thoroughly but it’s alright, he will explain himself.

“that i love you” he said definitely. she looked hurt and recoiled. james felt sick. this was a mistake. he was hurting her and he should never have said that. she looked disgusted in him, she could never love him, he had been delusional. “love?” cordelia asked him but he didn’t know how to answer, of course it was love.

“you don’t love me james. you said so yourself in every letter. you wrote again and again how you couldn’t, how grace is your true love. we both know that is the truth. you feel nothing for me that isn’t shame at your attraction to me and you evidently have no respect for my person if you find it appropriate to send me letters with your lustful thoughts. how could you james? i have done nothing to deserve such cruelty” cordelia’s voice broke and james felt tears prick at his eyes. she was wrong, this is all wrong. he wanted to scream. wanted to tear the stupid letters until his fingers bled. how can she misunderstand him so severely.

“no daisy” he grabbed her wrist as through it was the only thing keeping him from being dragged to sea. “i love you, the only shame i feel is my behaviour towards you. i love you, i love you.. please forgive me daisy please, let us forget about them and start anew i beg you” he pleaded with her and didn’t bother to conceal the desperation in them.

“mama had always told me to never trust what a man says but what he does.. jamie all you’ve done is conceal your feelings for me as though im a dirty secret and you have never shown any intention of courtship” cordelia had her face lowered but james could see the stream of tears on her cheek dripping to her neck.

james dug his nails into fist as he gently entwined his fingers with cordelia’s with his other hand. she was mistaken but there was no denying it was rational how she had come to that conclusion. “i.. i know that it may seem like i don’t but i need you to give me a chance, let us start our courtship tomorrow, i have so many places i want to take you daisy. let us start fresh and i will show you and do anything you need me to do to prove my love” she was still silently crying and james felt his heart break.

he had caused this, his cowardice and selfishness had created a rift between them. he pulled her towards him and felt her struggled breath against his collarbone. he held her tightly and stroked the small of her back.

“promise m-“ “anything” james interjected. “promise me you won’t do this again. promise me i will always know what you feel for me and will never be a replacement” cordelia’s voice was slightly hoarse from crying “i promise, i promise my angel, you have never been a replacement, i will bare all of me to you and use ‘i love you’ to greet you and punctuate all my sentences” james vowed as he kisses her palms.

cordelia’s teary eyes were looking at him as though she had never seen him before. she lifted her hands to his neck and drew him to her. cordelia was kissing him in a way they’d never kissed before. it was hot and frantic. their bodies were pressed together and he could feel her soft and warm body all over him. she tugged at his hair and james felt a moan escape from his lips and was caught by cordelia as she gently bit at his lips.

they heard a roar of laughter in the distance and they broke the kiss to turn back to the party. the party. they should head back. but james found it hard to move. he wanted to stay here and hold daisy all night, his daisy whose lips were wet and plump, looking up at him with dark brown eyes. “we should..” she began but didn’t continue. they were both panting and james didn’t want to be apart. but he remembered that he had a future with cordelia and he wanted it to start tonight.

he stroked her cheek and gently pushed a stray strand of curly hair back to its place. he saw her pat down her clothes and followed her lead. put his arm out, which she took. james felt a jolt at her closeness but privately smiled to himself. this is how it will be from now on. he had cordelia by his side and he will do everything in his power to make her happy.

he led her back and when cordelia turned to him to say her farewell he said “thank you for your time miss carstairs, i was wondering if you would like to join me to visit the chelsea physic garden tomorrow afternoon” he said this in an overly formal tone and he was rewarded with a grin on cordelia’s face that made her eyes shine. “i would be delighted mr herondale” she gave a pretty courtesy and went to her friends, james watched her for some time before turning to look for sona carstairs who was luckily speaking to his father. he joined them and enthusiastically talked with mrs carstairs for the rest of the night. it wouldn’t hurt to be on friendly term with cordelia’s mother who, as it turns out, was fascinating, he was sure they would be good friends.

james’ mind was restless with anticipation that night. he must have matthew over first thing in the morning to help him dress and beryl is always good at planning picnic baskets but he must tell her that cordelia prefers raspberry jam to strawberry. he loves her, and he will show her. in time, he hoped, she may love him too.

the end.

note: thank you to @sadtrains @tsctrashh @cordeliajamies @salchik and @fairytalejordelia for encouraging me to post this

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