#coronascuriosities

[chemicallycurious]

A very happy first Father’s Day to the very best dad in the world. With love from Cas and Nathan xxx

[doctoraliceburnett]

I've got you. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay.

Alice didn’t sleep well, for reasons long and predictable. As a general rule, she slept fitfully and lightly. Catnaps during the day, curled awkwardly onto her well-worn sofa, pressed somewhere in between fretful midnight dozing, ear ceaselessly attuned to the sound of the front doorknob turning. There were blankets and quilts all around her flat – on the sofa, the chair, piled messily onto her bed where she’d kicked them restlessly around – in a vague, subconscious hope that she might tempt herself into sleeping properly. 

Mostly it just meant there was always something around for when someone like Sebastian Moran decided to fall asleep on her couch, boots kicked off, stretched out like he lived there.

But sometimes – rarely – Alice fell into the sort of sleep that kept her unconscious for hours, undisturbed. Varying doses and lengths of reaction times meant that she never drew the connection between proper sleep and Ulysses’ visits, but that didn’t stop the connection from being there. Drugged, Alice’s sleep was deep and unbroken, tiny little interlinking ingredients keeping her sedated and still, undisturbed until the chemicals wore off and allowed her to blink back to consciousness again. There was nothing but blackness, nothing but nothing itself.

Or, rather, nothing that she remembered.

“…to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Alice blinked slowly, head foggy. The light was different than when she’d fallen asleep, curled up on the couch with the television muted – sunset, maybe. Or sunrise. There was no way to tell. Where had she put her watch?

“I’ve g-got you, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Normally, she’d have startled. As it was, she merely turned her head to the sound of the voice, finding herself little more than vaguely surprised to find Nathan there, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looked down at her.

“Hey.” Her voice came out raspier than she’d have wanted, and she cleared her throat before trying again. “Sorry, I fell asleep. Let yourself in?”

“You were um…shaking. In your sleep.” He looked like a schoolboy, caught out snooping where he shouldn’t have been. She became aware that he had his hand on her shoulder. Careful. Comforting. She could practically feel his uncertainty bleeding into her. “I thought…are you okay?”

Slowly coming back to herself, Alice tried to draw herself back together. Enough, at least, to muster up a vague, wry smile. She pushed herself up onto one elbow, biting down the wince that threatened when she moved her back the wrong way after too long in one position. “I think a few nightmares are the base minimum cost, don’t you?” 

Sitting up properly, Alice shook her head, like shaking water out of her hair. Or cobwebs out of her mind. “I don’t remember what it was.” Thank God.

Looking up, and more awake, Alice’s smile turned more genuine on Nathan’s pale, still-concerned face. “Tea then, yeah? Come and tell me about your new flat.”

[chemicallycurious]

Texts: After Midnight

[text] Hey, Nathan. I know it’s late. Just checking in.

[Text] Is everything alright?

[text] Yeah, of course. I was seeing how you are.

[Text] I’m well, thank you. How are you?

[Unsent text] It’s good to hear from y

[text] I’m fine, I’m good.

[text] Just fine.

[text] Life does its thing, you know?

[Unsent text] What’s wrong?

[Text] Yes.

[Text] What are you doing up so late?

[unsent text] What are you doing up so

[text] I’m having a hard time getting him to go down

[text] Him is Cas!

[text] Cas is here

[Text] What?

[Text] Really? 

[Text] How?

[Text] For how long?

[Text] What happened?

[text] Mags texted me a week and a half ago. She wanted to see me and let me meet him and I said yes because I needed to just meet him. And I went to the station and I was there on time and they got off the train and they were just there and we stopped at this cafe to have some lunch. 

[text] She let me hold him and she started talking about his stuff, and she pushed this big bag of stuff over to me with her foot, and all his paperwork was in there and everything. And then she kissed his head and she was crying, and she said it was better for me to have him, that that’s the way it had to be.

[text] And she left him. 

[Unsent text] That’s

[Unsent text] Are you

[Unsent text] Is she

[Unsent text] I’m so happy for you

[Unsent text] I’m so happy for you but

[Text] And you’re having a hard time getting him to go down?

[text] Oh lord, he won’t stop crying and usually I can get him to stop but he’s been screaming for four hours and I’m sure I’ve killed him I don’t know what to do I tried Wonderland but she must actually be sleeping.

[Text] Have you fed him and changed him recently? He’s not too hot or too cold?

[text] He’s clean, he’s fed, he’s burped. 

[text] He doesn’t seem too hot or too cold but he’s not so great at communication? Beyond screaming.

[Unsent text] He probably misses

[Unsent text] Elijah always liked

[Text] I think sometimes you’re supposed to just leave them to cry themselves to sleep?

[text] Four hours can’t be healthy! He hasn’t fallen asleep, he’s just so unhappy and I know I’m not who he wants.

[Unsent text] I could

[Unsent text] Do you want me to

[Text] I’m sure you’re doing better than you think you are.

[text] I’m not surprised I’m a bad father.

[text] I can call Mags tomorrow. She'll take him back when I tell her how rubbish I am.

[text] But I just want the poor guy to sleep a bit.

[Text] You’re not a bad father, Ulysses; you’re just a new one.

[text] Have you ever read anything? In any of those old books?

[text] I’m sorry, I know this isn’t your problem.

[Unsent text] Don’t say that, I

[Text] Don’t apologise. No, I haven’t, I’m sorry.

[text] It was worth a shot. I’m sorry to bother you so late.

[text] You get some sleep, okay?

[Text] Elijah wouldn’t fall asleep unless there was music playing.

[Text] Not music for babies. Proper music.

[Text] He liked the Beatles before I did.

[unsent text] It’s hard to listen to them without y

[text] What album do you think would be best?

[Text] I’d start from the very beginning.

[text] Oh lord, Nate.

[text] I don’t have ‘Please Please Me.’ We left it at the shop. 

[unsent text] Could you maybe bring 

[text] What else should I try?

[text] Nathan?

[doctoraliceburnett]

All the multiples of 10!

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

Why are all the men in my life a bunch of morons? I don’t understand why my newspaper has started disappearing. Who steals newspapers anymore?

10: What are you listening to?

The television is on. Someone is nattering on about bridges in London, I’m not really paying attention.

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I should start locking the door. I think about it almost every night, and never do it. 

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

I…yes. Probably, yes. Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be good for both of us.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Yes.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

There isn’t anyone.

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

Yes.

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

When I was younger I didn’t care. Now though, I’d be more monogamous, if it came up.

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

Depended on the person. My life isn’t exactly tailored for the safety of children.

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

…Yes.

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

No one comes to mind.

[doctoraliceburnett]

coronascuriosities:

[Text] Oh, well. - N

[Text] There is a lot to do. - N

[Text] That’s moving, that’s not a national disaster. -AB

[chemicallycurious]

[Text] Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Hapus! - N xxx

[text] Ti'n anghygoel! I was just on my way over with leek soup! - U XX

[doctoraliceburnett]

Would you ever tell Nathan about Ulysses or vice versa?

It’s not for me to tell.