Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral - They/Them pronouns used)
Warnings: Post Break-up Angst, Swearing, Heartbreak
Genre: Angst, Song fic (Happier by Ed Sheeran), RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Corpse’s struggles following the break up between him and Y/N perfectly described through the song lyrics of the song Happier by Ed Sheeran.
Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your request, it was my first song fic one and I’m really happy to be writing it. Hope you enjoy the fic despite the wait. Love, Vy ❤
“Walking down 29th and Park”
I’ve never been one to be keen on going out when it isn’t necessary. If I wanted a breath of fresh air I’d just spend some time in the safety of the semi-outdoors of my balcony. However now, even as I’m fully in the outside world, protected by no walls to preserve my identity, I still feel suffocated like those walls, instead of being around me are crushing me underneath their weight.
What I see next only adds to that weight...
“I saw you in another’s arms“
Oh for fuck’s sake.
Why are they here? No, that’s a dumb question. They live in the same city and frequent the same places. They were the ones who brought me to them and introduced me to a world where no one knew me. I was on their territory, not vice versa.
But the sight of them itself isn’t what has frozen me dead in the middle of the side walk - it’s the person walking alongside Y/N with an arm around their waist, completely ignorant to my presence, luckily for me.
Or to my dismay, I’m not even sure what to feel anymore.
“Only a month we’ve been apart...“
It’s been a month and then some after the break up I initiated. I was the one to put an end to it, I have no right to feel anything, especially not this tiny evil sense of betrayal that’s lurking inside my chest. Thankfully it’s significantly smaller than the other emotions in there but they aren’t that great either: jealousy, dread, sorrow, utter and unbearable pain.
The need to run to them and beg for their forgiveness. Beg for them to take me back, promise that I’ve changed and that I’m no longer that same idiot who valued my own personal gain and privacy over the person who cared about me with all their heart.
“You look happier...“
But I can’t do that. Not when they look so happy with him. I can’t ruin another great thing for Y/N, they don’t deserve that. I’ve already done enough. I capsized our boat, but they thankfully swam away instead of drowning like I still am.
“Saw you walk inside a bar“
It hurts to see them walking into that bar which we frequented so much the staff memorized our schedules and orders with someone else. It hurts to see that they’re running down the same routine but with someone who isn’t me. It made me feel special, every time they took me to a place they liked and enjoyed going to. I felt like I was getting little snippets of them in all those bars, pubs and diners. It all felt so natural. So real. So lovely.
“He said something to make you laugh“
I watch through the glass at the front of the street side bar, sitting down on one of the stools by the outside tables, hoping and praying to God they don’t see me. But how could they when they’re so enchanted by this wonderful guy. He’s handsome, tall, blonde, charming, humorous, basically checks off all the boxes for anyone to fall for him. However, what bugs me most is the last one - the humor. Y/N always said that the way to their heart is for a person to get a genuine laugh out of them. That is basically their love spell. And this guy is casting a spell, alright. Without even fucking trying.
“I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours“
It may be the whole weight of this situation crippling me and turning my brain into nothing but a sad mush but I really can’t remember a time we were that happy together. I’ve never made Y/N laugh like that, I’ve never even made them smile so widely
And man, does that fucking sting. It’s insane what you realize when you see a person you thought was happy with you be actually happy with someone else.
“Yeah, you look happier, you do“
Maybe it’s for the best I flipped that boat, cut them their losses...
“Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you“
After all, I was constantly hurting Y/N without realizing it. I was assuming what they wanted and what they wanted our relationship to be, never actually asking them. Maybe it’s for the best that I put an end to it...
I remember the night they finally snapped after overhearing me tell my friends that they were just a roommate when their voice was picked up by the mic as they were taking a phone call in the hall. Yes, I said they were a roommate. Not even a friend, a roommate.
What’s worse is that instead of apologizing, I gaslighted them. I told Y/N that it was for the best no one knew our relationship status for their own privacy sake. But unlike me, they know how to read a person properly and didn’t think twice about smacking me across the face with it.
“My privacy or yours, Corpse?! Or are you just embarrassed of me? Go on, you can tell me, I won’t be mad. After all, what do I have to be mad about, we’re just roommates anyway.“
“Y/N, don’t blow this out of proportion.“
“Oh, I’m blowing it out of proportion?“
“Yes! Like you do with everything, for fuck’s sake.“
“But ain’t nobody love you like I do“
God, I wish I was able to tell them. I wish I got the guts to tell them. I wish I could’ve swallowed that insane ego and pride of mine and said what I never said.
The sad truth is, that Y/N will never know how much I loved them. How much I still love them and how clueless I am when it comes to showing and expressing it. They’ll never know, cause I never once said those three words to them. Not. Even. Fucking. Once.
“Promise that I will not take it personal, baby, if you’re moving on with someone new“
It hurts, it hurts so fucking much to see them sit at our table with a new potential or concrete partner, drink their usual drink, look at him the way they used to look at me. It almost feels like they know I’m watching them and they’re doing it on purpose to prove a point. But even if that were the case, they’d have every right to shove it in my face how badly I fucked up.
I deserve it.
“Cause baby you look happier, you do“
All that matters currently is how happy they look to be with him. How much they’ve changed for the better since I’ve stepped out of their life. Now that shit is worse than anything I could imagine. To see someone flourish without you, a telltale sign that you were holding them back, that’s certain to shatter your heart, at least that’s how mine works.
“My friends told me one day I’ll feel it too“
It’s ironic - I never told my friends we were dating but I did tell them about the break up. The motherfucking irony.
After the initial shock, they all agreed that what I did was pretty fucking bad but they also told me to lighten up. They were insistent on the fact that if I wasn’t the one for Y/N, then they definitely weren’t the one for me too and I should learn from the experience and leave it behind.
“I could try to smile to hide the truth“
I agreed, more to make them feel better about their generic advice that I could’ve found on a motivational post on Instagram than anything. I agreed, hoping that a placebo effect would occur and brainwash me into thinking that too.
“But I know I was happier with you“
It didn’t work, it still hasn’t worked.
I’m still so in love with Y/N just like from the moment we first got to actually talking, to the moments I saw them walking out of my apartment, their packed suitcase in hand. Walking out of my life. I never stopped being head-over-heels for them. I never stopped loving them or loved them any less. This isn’t a situation where I love them now just because I no longer have them. I never stopped loving them. I was just a self-centered idiot, afraid of the powerful feeling that were wracking my mind and soul. They still are, I’ve just come to term with them, learned that they aren’t anything to be afraid of.
What I am afraid of is that I’ve come to that realization too late. That I lost my one shot at truly being happy. I can’t imagine myself happier with anyone else besides Y/N.
“But baby you look happier, you do“
But the fact still stands that, unlike me, they have found a lot greater happiness with someone else. I’d hate myself if I ever let my selfishness ruin that for them.
“I knew that one day you’d fall for someone new“
I always knew they deserved better. Someone who wouldn’t be afraid to openly show his or her love for them. Someone who wouldn’t hesitate to kiss them in public, or hold their hand, or introduce them to their friends as their romantic partner. Someone who’d do all the things I was afraid to do.
“But if he breaks your heart like lovers do“
I definitely have no moral high ground to be saying this considering what I’ve done, but I swear on my heart and soul and everything I own that if he breaks Y/N’s heart he’ll pay a high price. Yes, that’s very hypocritical of me to say and think, but I don’t care. I’d do anything to prevent them from going through something like that again and/or punish the person who puts them in the same situation I did.
Hypocriticalness be damned.
“Just know that I’ll be waitin’ here for you“
I know I’m the last person Y/N would turn to for comfort in a break up situation or any relationship problems at that, but God knows I’d do anything to let them know I’ll always be there for them, no matter what. No matter the time of day, the problem or method of contact - I’d still find my way to them if that’s what they want.
