thinking about how lowkey toxic a relationship with corpse would be....
warning, this is very angsty. to the point where i lowkey shed a tear writing this. and that doesnt usually happen lol.
gn!reader (as far as im aware) and sorry for the typos if there are any... 😁
anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list
it would prolly just start with you two hanging out. going over to his apartment, maybe hooking up once in a blue moon. but you two mainly cuddling and spending the days together in the dark rooms of his apartment.
he would try to hide from you how much pain he was in when you were around. but it wasnt hard to miss how he would wince at tiny movements and never be able to rest with you in his arms.
and when it got really bad, he hated how you helped him get around with no questions. how you so simply wanted to help him out because you cared. how you would even help him shower, bring in his groceries, cook for him, feed him if you had to.
he hated it because you cared more than anyone had before and you werent even dating. he wished you would just give up on him because it was too much. he wished you would just finally tell him 'hey... we need to talk' because maybe then it would be easier to hate you. but the truth is, he could never hate you. not anymore.
"so... you dont want to be in a relationship?" you asked quietly, confused more than anything. you look at his scarred face and messy head of dark curls. "...why?"
he sighed, "because this is too much," you scoffed, only more confused than before.
"what is?" you looked at him like he was crazy.
"...you," he said lowly, his voice resonating deep in his chest as he ran a hand over his face. you felt your heart pang as you diverted your eyes from him. you pursed your lips and your breathing got heavier. "well- not you- just-... this isnt worth the trouble im putting you through. that i will put you through."
"thats not for you to decide," you tell him, shaking your head at him. "I can choose when to call it quits and so far, im still fucking here."
you couldnt help but be offended. who wouldnt be after the person you care about is pushing you away. as far as you know, its unfair and incredibly ignorant.
"yea but how long until youre not?" he asked back angrily. "how long until you realize you can be doing so much more than taking care of me?"
"i dont want to be doing more! i want to be with you!" you tell him incredulously. he sighs and wets his lips, shaking his head at you. "do you just not want to be with me?"
he looks at you as if you had just said the earth was flat, "of course i do."
"so then why cant we?" you ask in complete exasperation. "what the fuck is the problem?"
"youre too fucking good for me!" he yelled back stepping closer to you. he threw his arms up in defeat, "is that what you want me to tell you? cause its fucking true. and i love you too much to let you rot away beside me."
your expression softens as your eyes dart back and forth between his eyes. in that moment you were speechless. and not because he had told you that he loved you, no you already knew that from his actions. it was the way he had said it. with more emotion than you could have expected from him.
"what if i wanted to 'rot away beside you'?" you asked him quietly.
"then you'd be an idiot," he says simply. "because we both know you have better shit to do. and better people to do that for."
you inhale deeply and release it as another exasperated sigh, "i love you," you say, emphasizing every word. "and its up to me whether or not i stay with you."
"and its up to me whether or not i want you here," he says crossing his arms. you feel you heart pang again, causing painful tingles to run down your arms and settle deep in your palms. "you need to run while you can. fucking get out of here before this gets more fucked up and shitty." you watched as he pointed between you two.
you step closer to him, "what are you so afraid of?" you plead to him with your eyes. just for this moment, for him to open up to you like how he had done hundreds of times before. "are you that scared I'll leave you cause you're what? 'too much'?"
he looked you in the eye, hesitating to speak for a moment. "i-..." he takes a deep breath. "yeah..."
you step closer, "youre not. not now. and it will only get easier." he starts shaking his head, backing away from you. "yes, it will! and if it ever gets to that point-"
"when it gets to that point," he tried correcting.
"no, if. because everything is an if," you say angrily. "you have no clue what its gonna be like. no fucking clue! so let us have this. while it lasts."
he sighs for what seems like the hundredth time that night, "i cant risk that."
"risk what? heartbreak? as if neither of us have gone through that before hundreds of times," you scoff.
"yeah, but ive never been heartbroken over someone like you."
"so then we hope that doesnt happen," you're trying. you're trying so hard to hold onto him. but your grasp is slipping. and he's trying to shake you loose.
"i cant take my chances," he shakes his head. "not this time."
"jesus fucking chirst!" you yell, tears welling up in your eyes. "let me love you! let me be with you! let me take care of you!"
"i cant let you do that! dont you fucking get it?!" he asks stepping closer to you until hes not even a foot away. "i dont want to see you leave! i cant have you around, cause when you do leave, i dont know what I'll do to myself!"
you stare into his eyes as your own vision starts to get blurry from unshed tears. you sniffle, keeping you gaze strongly on him. and you try one final time.
"so dont let me leave now, please," your voice comes out like a whisper. he swallows harshly and closes his eyes to stop his own tears from forming. "i dont want to move on from you when we havent even given it a chance."
"you'll have to," his voice matches yours. he opens his eyes and a tear falls as he looks at you. "fucking find someone who can actually hold you at night. who can make you dinner, who can give you a shower when you cant, who can actually fuck you when you want."
you tried to scoff, but it came out more like a sob, "i dont need that. i need you," your voice weak from the burn in the back of your throat. unshed tears welling up more.
"no you dont," he says, stepping closer. then leaning his forehead on yours. he closes his eyes, "please, go. for me."
your body racks out a sob, gasping for air to get out your next sentence. "if i leave, im just gonna wait for you."
he shakes his head against you, "no. no you wont."
"I'll wait until you realize you do deserve proper love." he continues to shake his head, pretending as if your words arent punching him right in the heart. "ill wait even if it takes you twenty fucking years."
"do you really think I'll survive twenty more years?" he asks with a laugh. you giggle back sadly, pursing your lips at the posibility of him dying. "do you really think I'll find my self-worth that soon?"
"I'll wait as long as i need to."
and you leave. with such a heavy heart but not without more tears than you could have imagined. and you try to move on. not easily but you put in an effort.
he writes songs with lyrics dedicated to you. written for you. whether its in a song about how he only want you at his side or how he has one person he will always be loyal to or about how his exes tried to chance him but one was different. you listen to it and somehow know its you.
you try to find a new partner to fill that void. but he will always be in your mind. as the right person but at the wrong time. the one that got away, if you will.
i like how angsty this was. anywayy, hope you enjoyed 😁😁 -nony
Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral - They/Them pronouns used)
Warnings: Post Break-up Angst, Swearing, Heartbreak
Genre: Angst, Song fic (Happier by Ed Sheeran), RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Corpse’s struggles following the break up between him and Y/N perfectly described through the song lyrics of the song Happier by Ed Sheeran.
Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your request, it was my first song fic one and I’m really happy to be writing it. Hope you enjoy the fic despite the wait. Love, Vy ❤
“Walking down 29th and Park”
I’ve never been one to be keen on going out when it isn’t necessary. If I wanted a breath of fresh air I’d just spend some time in the safety of the semi-outdoors of my balcony. However now, even as I’m fully in the outside world, protected by no walls to preserve my identity, I still feel suffocated like those walls, instead of being around me are crushing me underneath their weight.
What I see next only adds to that weight...
“I saw you in another’s arms“
Oh for fuck’s sake.
Why are they here? No, that’s a dumb question. They live in the same city and frequent the same places. They were the ones who brought me to them and introduced me to a world where no one knew me. I was on their territory, not vice versa.
But the sight of them itself isn’t what has frozen me dead in the middle of the side walk - it’s the person walking alongside Y/N with an arm around their waist, completely ignorant to my presence, luckily for me.
Or to my dismay, I’m not even sure what to feel anymore.
“Only a month we’ve been apart...“
It’s been a month and then some after the break up I initiated. I was the one to put an end to it, I have no right to feel anything, especially not this tiny evil sense of betrayal that’s lurking inside my chest. Thankfully it’s significantly smaller than the other emotions in there but they aren’t that great either: jealousy, dread, sorrow, utter and unbearable pain.
The need to run to them and beg for their forgiveness. Beg for them to take me back, promise that I’ve changed and that I’m no longer that same idiot who valued my own personal gain and privacy over the person who cared about me with all their heart.
“You look happier...“
But I can’t do that. Not when they look so happy with him. I can’t ruin another great thing for Y/N, they don’t deserve that. I’ve already done enough. I capsized our boat, but they thankfully swam away instead of drowning like I still am.
“Saw you walk inside a bar“
It hurts to see them walking into that bar which we frequented so much the staff memorized our schedules and orders with someone else. It hurts to see that they’re running down the same routine but with someone who isn’t me. It made me feel special, every time they took me to a place they liked and enjoyed going to. I felt like I was getting little snippets of them in all those bars, pubs and diners. It all felt so natural. So real. So lovely.
“He said something to make you laugh“
I watch through the glass at the front of the street side bar, sitting down on one of the stools by the outside tables, hoping and praying to God they don’t see me. But how could they when they’re so enchanted by this wonderful guy. He’s handsome, tall, blonde, charming, humorous, basically checks off all the boxes for anyone to fall for him. However, what bugs me most is the last one - the humor. Y/N always said that the way to their heart is for a person to get a genuine laugh out of them. That is basically their love spell. And this guy is casting a spell, alright. Without even fucking trying.
“I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours“
It may be the whole weight of this situation crippling me and turning my brain into nothing but a sad mush but I really can’t remember a time we were that happy together. I’ve never made Y/N laugh like that, I’ve never even made them smile so widely
And man, does that fucking sting. It’s insane what you realize when you see a person you thought was happy with you be actually happy with someone else.
“Yeah, you look happier, you do“
Maybe it’s for the best I flipped that boat, cut them their losses...
“Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you“
After all, I was constantly hurting Y/N without realizing it. I was assuming what they wanted and what they wanted our relationship to be, never actually asking them. Maybe it’s for the best that I put an end to it...
I remember the night they finally snapped after overhearing me tell my friends that they were just a roommate when their voice was picked up by the mic as they were taking a phone call in the hall. Yes, I said they were a roommate. Not even a friend, a roommate.
What’s worse is that instead of apologizing, I gaslighted them. I told Y/N that it was for the best no one knew our relationship status for their own privacy sake. But unlike me, they know how to read a person properly and didn’t think twice about smacking me across the face with it.
“My privacy or yours, Corpse?! Or are you just embarrassed of me? Go on, you can tell me, I won’t be mad. After all, what do I have to be mad about, we’re just roommates anyway.“
“Y/N, don’t blow this out of proportion.“
“Oh, I’m blowing it out of proportion?“
“Yes! Like you do with everything, for fuck’s sake.“
“But ain’t nobody love you like I do“
God, I wish I was able to tell them. I wish I got the guts to tell them. I wish I could’ve swallowed that insane ego and pride of mine and said what I never said.
The sad truth is, that Y/N will never know how much I loved them. How much I still love them and how clueless I am when it comes to showing and expressing it. They’ll never know, cause I never once said those three words to them. Not. Even. Fucking. Once.
“Promise that I will not take it personal, baby, if you’re moving on with someone new“
It hurts, it hurts so fucking much to see them sit at our table with a new potential or concrete partner, drink their usual drink, look at him the way they used to look at me. It almost feels like they know I’m watching them and they’re doing it on purpose to prove a point. But even if that were the case, they’d have every right to shove it in my face how badly I fucked up.
I deserve it.
“Cause baby you look happier, you do“
All that matters currently is how happy they look to be with him. How much they’ve changed for the better since I’ve stepped out of their life. Now that shit is worse than anything I could imagine. To see someone flourish without you, a telltale sign that you were holding them back, that’s certain to shatter your heart, at least that’s how mine works.
“My friends told me one day I’ll feel it too“
It’s ironic - I never told my friends we were dating but I did tell them about the break up. The motherfucking irony.
After the initial shock, they all agreed that what I did was pretty fucking bad but they also told me to lighten up. They were insistent on the fact that if I wasn’t the one for Y/N, then they definitely weren’t the one for me too and I should learn from the experience and leave it behind.
“I could try to smile to hide the truth“
I agreed, more to make them feel better about their generic advice that I could’ve found on a motivational post on Instagram than anything. I agreed, hoping that a placebo effect would occur and brainwash me into thinking that too.
“But I know I was happier with you“
It didn’t work, it still hasn’t worked.
I’m still so in love with Y/N just like from the moment we first got to actually talking, to the moments I saw them walking out of my apartment, their packed suitcase in hand. Walking out of my life. I never stopped being head-over-heels for them. I never stopped loving them or loved them any less. This isn’t a situation where I love them now just because I no longer have them. I never stopped loving them. I was just a self-centered idiot, afraid of the powerful feeling that were wracking my mind and soul. They still are, I’ve just come to term with them, learned that they aren’t anything to be afraid of.
What I am afraid of is that I’ve come to that realization too late. That I lost my one shot at truly being happy. I can’t imagine myself happier with anyone else besides Y/N.
“But baby you look happier, you do“
But the fact still stands that, unlike me, they have found a lot greater happiness with someone else. I’d hate myself if I ever let my selfishness ruin that for them.
“I knew that one day you’d fall for someone new“
I always knew they deserved better. Someone who wouldn’t be afraid to openly show his or her love for them. Someone who wouldn’t hesitate to kiss them in public, or hold their hand, or introduce them to their friends as their romantic partner. Someone who’d do all the things I was afraid to do.
“But if he breaks your heart like lovers do“
I definitely have no moral high ground to be saying this considering what I’ve done, but I swear on my heart and soul and everything I own that if he breaks Y/N’s heart he’ll pay a high price. Yes, that’s very hypocritical of me to say and think, but I don’t care. I’d do anything to prevent them from going through something like that again and/or punish the person who puts them in the same situation I did.
Hypocriticalness be damned.
“Just know that I’ll be waitin’ here for you“
I know I’m the last person Y/N would turn to for comfort in a break up situation or any relationship problems at that, but God knows I’d do anything to let them know I’ll always be there for them, no matter what. No matter the time of day, the problem or method of contact - I’d still find my way to them if that’s what they want.
Pairing: Corpse Husband and Reader (gender neutral) in this story you live in LA (Corpse lives in San Diego that's about a 2 hour drive)
All my work uses They/Them pronouns
Corpse uwu:
“Whaddup baby you wanna play a round of Among Us with the group?”it was your monthly 6 hour stream when you got a text from your boyfriend Corpse. You were on your 5th hour on stream and you had already gotten bored of just talking to chat about how you were feeling or your plans later that stream when your friends were on and willing to play with you.
Y/N:
“REALLY WHAT'S THE CODE!!!!!”
“Oh and I miss you <3🌼💖″ You and your boyfriend lived only a few hours away from each other so you saw each other every weekend but you both couldn't help but miss each other every day. Lucky for you guys today was Friday!!!!
Corpse uwu:
“The code is *******”
“I miss you too cutie I can't wait to see you soon 🖤” Ahh there he goes again making your heart beat so much faster. “Okay chat looks like we gonna be playing some Among Us with some friends!!!!” you almost yell at your chat being so excited to finally do something besides reacting to some videos they would send. You put Among Us on and cover the code with yourself making sure the code was right, you were finally in with some of your friends and played about 9 rounds before having to go (btw you were making out with Corpse at the snowman for all 9 rounds lol) “Bye chat I’ll miss you, remember if you wanna talk my DM’s are ALWAYS open love you all.”
Y/N:
“I’m on my way to your house! I’ll be there soon!”
Corpse uwu:
“Okay I’ll be waiting 🤡”
“WRONG EMOJI 💀”
You start getting some of your things ready and head to your car wanting to just see your boyfriend so badly. When you were getting out of your car you made sure to text him again letting him know that you were coming up right now.
After coming up to his floor and finding his door you were so tired from driving and just wanted to go to sleep in his arms and maybe watch some movies before actually falling asleep. You knocked on his door and almost within seconds he was right in front of you with his eyes turning into half moons and his arms wide open making you just fall into them. You both did not speak for a few minutes just swaying side to side in the comfortable silence, you started to try to pull away when you felt him pull you closer “Can we just slow dance here for a bit longer?” he said looking you in eyes making you as red as a cherry “wait we’re we slow dancing?” “Just answer yes or no?” “yeah I would like that” you said to him putting yourself back into his chest wanting this to never end <3
Thank you so much for reading I hope you enjoyed reading as much as enjoyed writing this story!!
There was the silence and there were the stars | Corpse husband x reader -Among Us AU
Among us AU : There was something. Something in the silence and the harsh coldness -that only space was capable of- that turned your brain into a sarcastic and bored mess. Maybe that’s why you found yourself so interested by any sabotage pulled on the crewmates, maybe that’s what made him so interesting to witness. He was different from the rest of you. Different to an extend you were about to understand.
❚ Word count : 4.2k
❚ Warning : A bit angsty but you will get that fluffity fluff and touch starve feeling you require I promise ; swearing
❚ Note : there will be no mention of death or killing as it is basically a real life Among us, just some shenanigans. Y/C : your/color
A/N : This little thing was inspired by -⭐️ anon. It was a fun thing to write even though it took me way too long because I asked my brain “sir may I pls have the focus capacity I need” and brain said no (: so yeah, this is litteraly just me ranting n complaining about space. This is a bit angsty but as what if is way too happy for me that was a nice opportunity. I hope you won’t mind and appreciate it anyway. As always just let me know. As it’s my first time writing like a one shot thingy I’m really curious to know. Also it’s supposed to be proofread but if you find any mistake just take ur glasses off. Thanks. Enjoy the wild ride.
You met him again. He was fixing wires while you were downloading some files on the computer. Difficulties happened regularly around here; various oddities that occurred from time to time, sometimes a few times a day. It would go from doors closing mysteriously to no electricity, you never knew which one it would be. Those inconveniences used to draw a smile on your lips, a grin you tried your best to hide from everyone else. The sound of the urging siren resounded in your head like a call, reviving the last spared spark left in your brain. At this point, you were pretty sure it was one of your crewmates’ doing, too many coincidences for any other options to be left. You didn’t mind though. The game started months ago but still amused you to this day.
He never let a word escape his mouth. To your awareness, no one knew anything about him, no one had ever heard the sound of his voice which you could only dare to imagine since the two of you met. It felt silly, you fabricated this voice inside your head, a half-finished melody you played to keep your mind busy. It would have sounded just as an old piano would. So slightly out of tune that maybe, if you didn’t care enough or wished for it not to be true, you wouldn’t even notice.
You called him black. It resonated with the color of his suit and the darkness that emanated from his soul. Not that he looked like a mischievous character, but rather like someone who would have been gnawed by life for years. A shade that reminded you of the bittersweet feeling 4 AM forced you to taste. Describing that presentiment was a challenge you couldn’t take. It was one of those things that had to be felt, not narrated.
Shit.
He caught you staring again. How could you look any other way? There was something with him that appealed to you, that pulled your eyes toward his direction every time. Probably only a peak of unwarranted curiosity you couldn’t really be blamed for, probably the oh-so mysterious aura that floated so carelessly around him. He always had this way of sneaking in and out, just as if he was nothing but his own shadow.
Yet, being near him was easy. Silence only felt comfortable when he was in your surroundings. The whole world stopped existing -and it had in fact since the first day you two met.
He had dark charcoal hair which fell so perfectly in curly strands around the two horns that crowned over his head. Paired with two ruby hued eyes, he truly was a sight for sore eyes. A wicked and breathtaking beauty, so unique it gave you the impression that he wasn’t even human.
He used to hop in a vent after finishing his tasks. As if his true home was there; a secret hideout for him and him only. You didn’t even know it was a thing before you watched it with your own eyes. Who wouldn’t blame him. If you could have escaped that warmth deprived place too, even for 5 minutes, you would have.
That’s why you never asked any question about it nor tried to investigate further. Being stuck in space was only a kid’s fantasy, nothing a fully conscious adult would inflict to themselves. Which, in itself, was pretty much self-explanatory about everyone’s mental condition in here.
It was also a pre-established rule, no questions. No one ever expressed it out loud, but you would have to be a fool not to guess it. Every crewmate grew accustomed to the deadly silence only space had to offer. A giant timeless hole where nothing really happened. With nothing but the smell of technology and the constant purr of engines as the only distractions left. See, living in a spaceship was no ordinary lifestyle : days and nights melted into each other until it became nothing but a groundless concept. The crewmates perceived it as comforting for some reason. You used to shrug it off, no questions. How unethical would you be to disturb their peace?
If you had to be honest, you would probably say that you felt bad for Black. Nothing like pity, but being alone in this stark and brutal silence for this long must have been pretty life-consuming. That’s why, even though it made your cheeks and the tip of your ears flame up in a raw and unforgivable tint of pink, you always kept looking into his eyes for one more second after he noticed you. Just to be sure he knew that he wasn’t alone in this shit hole. You stared into the depth of those ruby eyes, hunting for silent answers to questions you weren’t even sure of in the first place. He never quivered, only stood motionless until his task was completed. Just locking the eye contact. After that, he always ran away as silently as he existed. Leaving your head disturbingly empty.
Every single time.
Something changed one day. You were about to prepare some test samples when it happened. He jumped off a vent and you followed his movements from the corner of your eyes, too distracted to remember about the task that was assigned to you. He ran to the door and proceeded to shut it. Within the last second, the one that always lasted hours, he put an index in front of his mouth. Silently asking for you not to say a word. And before the steel door could obstruct your vision completely, you noticed a smile on his lips. A smile that made the whole spaceship turn inside out, draining the blood out of your body in a painstaking, almost sore way. There you stood, intoxicated by stupefaction and trapped as a cat.
Black mutated you into a self-depreciating joke : in here, you were only interestied in the impostor. The only one who made your day a little better was the one giving nightmares to the others.
It was him, from the beginning. It was him and he smiled. A grin that twinkled maliciously from his lips to his eyes, wounding your heart in an insoluble way. It made every prejudice you had about him crumble : he was no longer that miserable existence you sensed he was but a quiescent sun that could radiate all around him once unleashed into the world. How did he do that? How could he be both the tunnel and the light at the end of it?
When red came to the rescue, she described you with a glare. She judged you in the not-so-pleasant way. You could always count on those glares to know their opinions about you. Because their judgment would have to be expressed one way or another. She thought you looked suspicious, with your half poured concoction into a hand and the rest of it in the other, just staring blankly into the void. You wouldn’t blame her for that.
It stuck with you for days, filling your empty mind with the sight of a smile that could no longer be experienced. The scene shamelessly repeated itself in your mind until it became nothing but a progression of disassembled images, forcing you to taste the astonishment over and over again. The problem was, you hadn’t seen him for days. And, even though you wanted to know what happened, you couldn’t ask. That was the rule.
What would you say anyway ? Black is the imposter and I watched him close medbay’s door ? Yeah, I don’t think so. You should have stopped him in the first place -and you would have if you weren’t just mesmerized.
So, you took each day -or night … or piece of time, whatever you wanted to call it since it was no longer existent- with composure. Forcing yourself to do any task with a meticulousness that didn’t look like you. Just to make sure your brain was busy enough not to think about it or him. Being trapped in a place and being trapped in your own mind are two different wrestles, yet in here those two intertwined perfectly. Just like the rest of it, it didn’t even make any sense : the guy smiled at you for ten seconds and here you were, an absolute clutter of questions and recollection. You were probably just too bored and he, as always, was the perfect distraction. That must have been it, right?
You walked in admin. Your heart skipped a beat before your eyes could process who stood in front of them.
Look what the cat dragged in.
His hair twirled flawlessly above his face, almost hiding a grimace that indicated so transparently his mind. You leaned against the door frame and crossed your arms, unabashedly watching him as he swiped his card frantically while sighting heavily every time that “bip” of failure rang.
Eventually, he looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read. You tried anyway, staring at him as if he was some sort of work of art that needed to be decrypted. From the way his chest moved heavily under the pressure of the irritation to the way his glowing eyes witnessed you. This expression on his face gave him a funny look, a scowl which made the laugh that tickled your throat hard to hold back.
“Y-you have to do it slower. Otherwise, it won’t work” you stuttered. “I guess it’s harder since …”
You walked to him carefully, so carefully you forgot your words. Just as if he was a wild animal who could run away if scared. Making sure no step would fall out of line. He was so close, so close, maybe if you tried to catch him this time he would stop running away.
“Since it’s not my job, right ? Is that what you were about to say ?” he asked with a low voice, a voice you would have never dared to picture for him. Not the broken tone you pictured but a melody so sweet and so unique it felt like it was made just for your ears to enjoy, taunting you to dive into his mind.
“Do you need help” ?
“I- hum- You’re not supposed to help me, you know ?” he stuttered, visibly amused, judging by the way his eyes wrinkled under his smile.
“Are you gonna lock me in the room once again ?” He shook his head as a chuckle escaped from his lips. “Then who cares” you finally breathed.
Your fingers brushed against his warm skin as you grabbed the card. You tried to appear unbothered, hoping so intensely for the swipe to be a first try success. That way, maybe he wouldn’t notice the way you breathed heavily under the weight of your pounding heart. But those red eyes piercing through the depth of your soul were hardly bearable for those like you who suffered from unbeknownst afflictions.
You grew aware of his every move, the way those eyes fell on you, the perfume that emanated from his skin, the sound of his slow yet noticeable respiration.
You gave him his card back and he captured your fingers in the palm of his hand, making it impossible for you to escape his grip. Hiding those blushing cheeks from a sight that seemed to see everything was a defiance only the proudest people would be capable of. It wasn’t your case, but you counted on preserving the last sane cells left in your body.
“Your secret is safe with me.” You whispered, avoiding any eye contact.
“I know that.”
A simple answer that would never be enough to satisfy you. Yet, before you could review the best option of an answer, he left. Just as he always did, he walked away silently -still this time it seemed to last an eternity- while you just stood there inertly as you watched his black silhouette disappear into the endless gray hallways.
You finally caught the breath you had been holding this whole time. Leaning over, you observed your reflection into the screen of the digital tablet as you rubbed your hands together, hoping for that strange spike of electricity that ran through your fingers to fade away quickly. A mess.
“There you are, Corpse” green said as he sat cross-legged in black’s secret place “I’ve been looking for you.”
Corpse was the name green chose for Black, feeling like it would be the most suitable image for the one who always worked in the shadow. Not the most refined nickname, yet black ironically related to that. Silent as a Corpse, he thought. A level of sarcasm that amused him and which probably led to him immediately falling in love with it.
Corpse observed the little sprout on the top of Green’s head. It floated lightly and followed his every move. What a little freak. Just a thing deprived of any sort of self consciousness, out of this world just like he felt he was. Corpse remained fixated on it, hoping he could get as self-aware as it was. The last impromptu reunion he had with you was nothing he had planned, nothing that should have happened. He wouldn’t exactly call it a mistake and still, he had no one else but him to blame.
“Did something happened with y/c ? You seem a little flustered.” Green asked, pulling Corpse out of his overflowed mind.
“I don’t know, I think I kinda fucked up.” He replied with a shrug. “I’ve been spotted.”
“Was it really a mistake ?”
Green was the only one who was granted with the privilege of learning how to understand Corpse. Because, deep inside, they grew up to be the same kind : the kind that didn’t belong here. Two sides of the same coin.
Green’s social intelligence, on the other hand, Black didn’t like it that much. Thanks to that guy, he would be able to work comfortably in the darkness, where no one could see him, but it also meant that he saw clearly what was going through Corpse’s mind. Actually, it didn’t take him too long.
What was the surprise when he realized it was you who lived rent-free in his thoughts? See, in Corpse’s eyes you were different from the others : too conscious about the reality that happened before yours eyes. It made you interesting to observe. What a delightful sight it was to watch you rolling your eyes in your crewmates’ face, to notice the serious look you had when you were focused on a task, the way your eyes sparkled every time a new sabotage was made. He wouldn’t track you, yet he would never resist a peek once your paths crossed. It happened often, more than you actually realized.
Yet, Corpse was no fool. You and him never belonged together. You were destined to a bright destiny and he was the obscurity. That’s why he was more than careful not to get too close, not to see his bare mind get burnt under the exposition of those peculiar feelings in the pit of his stomach.
That’s why his previous reaction made no sense to him. But what could he say? You took him aback when those words were directed at him. You made his short-circuited brain unable to be sensible anymore. He just wanted to know what your touch would feel like under his fingers. Why was his skin blazing with electricity now ?
Corpse swallowed it all. From the blossoming feeling inside his body and mind to the warmth and the softness of your skin. He couldn’t feel that way. “I’m not really sure.” he finally said, as honest as he could be with himself.
He would spend his next few days planning with Green, cornering you to a small part of his brain. You couldn’t be there, you had no right to be. The game was progressing faster than they anticipated it. It made him thrilled, accepting the challenge no one but the two of them could bear.
However, a new unwanted seed grew into his mind. The idea that, maybe, you were only by his side in this game. That, maybe he would never be able to witness your existence in the real world.
“Have you ever noticed how weird the stars look sometimes ?” Corpse asked as he joined navigation. You jumped and your mind turned into a scattered place stuck between a task you battled to achieve and the proximity left between the two of you. Your heart beat in rhythm with his echoing, never ending footsteps. Still you had, indeed, noticed. “It’s like they’re not even real” you answered with a smile that made your voice higher. A melodic lift that betrayed your intention of ever finishing your job.
When you finally looked at him, his lips moved into a satisfied curve. Shivers tickled your arms and your neck. Maybe because he was just standing so perfectly still in front of the glass window. So perfectly still that, among all those celestial bodies, he appeared to be the most beautiful one. “Mind keeping me company for a bit?” Your mouth betrayed you when the question escaped your grip. But Corpse snorted faintly and shook his head.
“From all the people in here you want to spend time with me ? That’s probably not your wisest decision.” He said as he tried to muffle a high pitch laugh with a hand that covered his mouth.
See, that’s the words he had been afraid of since the first time he saw you. The words he would have to turn into derision since he knew he would have no strength to refuse. Yet, you stood there with those glimmering eyes and those eyebrows that arched in a strange manner, cutting every single inch of air out of his lungs. Even if he wanted to say no -and he should- he wouldn’t have been able to.
It was never meant to happen, not judging by your two so hostily opposed nature. Fuck that shit. Who cared about that speech when you were here and you were so beautiful?
You moved closer to him, a strenuous and slow tense that shouldn’t be disregarded. You’ve had seen the same scenery for months yet never it made you feel the same way as you did at that very moment. Because those balls of lights floating into the void shimmered in his ruby hued iris just as a dozen of fireflies would. He made your world a little blurry, narrowed to his presence at your side.
“You forgave me really easily the last time we met.” He noticed. “That’s a little sus if you asked me.”
“Well, what can I say ? You’re the only distraction I have left, so I’m not really in the position to hold grudges.” You shrugged sarcastically.
“You’re really funny, I have to concede that” he said as his smile made its way to his eyes.
Your brutally honest words intertwined with his chuckles and crewmates never heard the spaceship as lively as that time. That time when you got to discover who Corpse really was. A man who hid his blooming existence behind a silence.
“Why did you stay silent this whole time ?” You dared to ask before the silence fell upon the two of you, a silence that maybe you wouldn’t be able to endure this time.
“Because I never wanted to lie”
“I- ...hum- there’s really nothing I could say against that, right ?”
With every grin, every chuckle, every abrupt eye contact, your proximity kept embedding his mind a little deeper until you stole the stars’ show completely. It’s no good, you held his breath hostage when he realized he could feel the warmth stemming out of your skin. So tempted to get closer and witness it with further clearness.
Thus, he lifted a hand that starved connection. He tried to close the gap between your two touches so prudently, so discreetly that you didn’t even notice. A touch, that would go beyond his movement, more like a proof he needed to make sure someone like you really existed in a shithole like this.
He was so close.
Yet, the alarm rang before he could embrace the object of his desire. “Better check that out quickly” you said with a sigh. Somehow, it felt peculiar just knowing that, this time, you were the one running away. A sense of some sort of joke played by space. As if space hadn’t done enough. When Green cut the communication, he couldn’t realize -If only he knew the double meaning of that sabotage. Ah, the irony of it all.
“I’ll see you soon” Corpse informed you, more of a promise than a farewell and he stayed there long enough, staring numbly at his hand.
You ran until the communication room, holding this bittersweet feeling on the tip of your tongue. You tried to swallow it and almost found yourself praying that no one would arrive before you could. This way, maybe your fugue would make more sense.
Blue was already sitting on the floor, trying to find the good frequencies. “I’m already on it.” she said on a plain, monotone voice. Of course, she fucking would be.
Now what was left to do ? Corpse was probably already gone and-and the silence … the silence had returned. A dead, cold, cruel silence. It tested out your nerves, built up some pressure down your throat that made keeping your composure barely possible. Corpse slipped between your fingers again. The game was no longer a funny and pleasant diversion from the plain, austere daily life you had. You grew tired of that cat and mouse game. You just wanted him.
After going back to the oh-so empty navigation room, you completed your tasks. And you were finally done. You wandered around for hours, days -who knows-, searching for a purpose.
The game was coming to an end, you could feel it. Something in the air changed, it became dryer than ever. Unbearable on your skin that ached for something you couldn’t apprehend. The crewmates were agitated, everyone kept running around day and night just to make sure the last tasks would be completed as soon as possible. New difficulties were triggered almost as soon as the last ones ended. Chaos.
Just as if he wasn’t ready to end the game so soon, as if he didn’t want to get the hell out of this place as much as you did. From time to time, you almost found yourself eager to ignore the alarm. Taunting him one last time by neglecting his call.
Maybe that way he would show up, maybe that way he would stay with you. Yeah, maybe that way he would stop being nothing but an ephemeral being that almost made you wonder if you finally gave up on your mind to the silence. Because at that moment he only felt like a chimera your brain created to protect you. Because you were just so fucking bored.
You gave up on that idea, turning on the CCTV as you sighed. Just to see more colorful suits running around, trying to hold their shit together for what appeared to be the ultimate hour. Despite all the sabotages, it seemed like your number made your strength. You imagined Corpse’s face, probably piqued. A dark frown covering his pretty eyes. It made your lips twitch for a second. Who knew it would end this way ? Definitely not you.
Yet that amused smile faded away when you heard the familiar sound of the door closing, locking you in yet another time. You rolled your eyes and turned around, unprepared to witness who locked themselves with you. His body laid against the door, guarding it as his chest moved frenetically under the weight of his rushing breath.
“This is the end” he whispered frantically under his breath. He doesn’t look as worried as you thought he would, but it didn’t matter. You moved impulsively toward him, never stopping until he snaked a hand around your waist and slipped the other one in your back. That way, this time, there were no escape.
He let his head rest in the hollow of your neck, soaking the divine and comforting warmth you had to offer. His warm breath on your skin sent shivers through your body which responded by squeezing him a little tighter, holding him as close to your heart as humanly possible. You could feel his, beating so fast.
“This is the end.” His whisper grounded on your skin.
He lifted his head to dive into your eyes with the same sweet smile you offered him. The one which expressed the happiness, the relievment it felt to embrace him.
“If it were for you, I would do it all over again.” You said, pressing your forehead against his, sharing a breath as you closed your eyes. One last attempt to memorize everything about him. You sensed his smile, so wide you didn’t even have to look at it to see. He left a trail of kisses on your cheeks and your hand wandered in his hair as a faint gasp escaped your lips.
Corpse looked back at you. And then, as his thumb drew light circles on your cheek. With glowing eyes that translated all the adoration he felt for you, he whispered “Maybe it was just meant to be”. And then, he closed the distance between the two of you, brushing your lips softly at first before capturing them completely once he was sure you felt the same way as he did. A kiss that tasted like 4AM and home.
“I’ll find my way back to you, my love. I’ll find you in the real world.” He promised.
Summary: years after he had dropped out of school due to personal reasons leaving his first friend behind. He runs into her mother years after to only get news, he didn’t expect nor want to hear.
Warning: angst| death| Corpse being sad| mentions of depression.
He remembered her smile
Her laugh
Everything about her, how her cheeks would puff when she pouts like some anime character.
He loved that about her.
She was his first friend in school, she approached him tried to strike up a conversation.
She was also the shy kid, while he liked computers and English, she loved art and science.
Everytime she talked to him though she would get flustered, start stuttering words that would almost incomprehensible.
Maybe she has a crush on him?
The amount of time the two would spend at eachother’s houses playing video games, shouting.
“I’m gonna beat you Corpse!” She shouts ane he gently punches her arm,
“No your not! I’m gonna kick your ass!” He says back and she just burst out laughing.
“Oh yeah!?” She shouts, and a few minutes later he loses.
“No fair you cheated.” He says and she shakes her head,
“Nope I won fair and square.” She says to him, and he tackles her to the ground.
“Admit it you cheated!” He shouted at her playfully, and she shakes her head.
“No no no I won’t.” She says to him.
“Then you leave me with no choice.” He says and he begins to tickle her, and she screams and laughs.
“No no ahh! Corpse stop no!” She giggles trying to push Corpse off.
“Okay okay I cheated!” She says laughing, and Corpse stops .
“So you admit you cheated.” He asks looking at her, and she nods lying obviously she didn’t cheat he just sucks at the game they were playing.
“Yep. I cheated even though it’s obvious you suck at this game”. And he tackled her again, and tickled her again this time harder..
He loved those times he spent with her, just spending time with eachother like friends do.
And when he had to leave school he hated it but he had to his, personal reasons were getting in the way.
He did spend time with her but it eventually stopped, and [Y/n] started to become depressed.
Thinking her first friend she made, didn’t wanna spend time with her anymore, thought she was annoying.
She loved him, and she didn’t want to admit it but she has a crush on him. Keeping it to herself whenever around him.
Days
Weeks
Months
Years passed
Until one day while at the store Corpse bumped into her mother, and the two talked after leaving the store.
And he asked, “H-how’s Y/n doing!” And he noticed her expression turned to happy, to sad.
She looked down, and back up at him.
“I-it pains me to say this but, s-shes gone. She passed away in a car accident back in 2016. A month after her birthday.” She says on their verge of tears.
And it was like the world around him caved in,
“W-what?” He says in shock and she looks at him,
“She died. I’m so sorry I wish we could’ve told you sooner but we had no idea where you were or if you had moved. I’m so sorry Corpse.” She says looking down,
And it was as if someone stabbed him in the heart, this wasn’t true it can’t be.
This is a nightmare right?
She isn’t gone she can’t be..
But sadly she was..
He stood before her grave, as the rain fell tears brimmed his eyes as he fell to his knees.
Here Lies,
Y/n M/n L/n
1997-2016
Loving, Daughter, Friend, and Aunt.
He sobbed as he looked at the tombstone the epitaph, that had the name of his first friend carved on it.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” He cried his hands covering his face, as he remembered.
Her smile
Her laugh
He couldn’t believe she was gone..
Dear Corpse,
I know your never gonna even read this so why am I even writing this? But here I go... I know things are hard for you in life, I know your medical conditions aren’t the best at all. And you think that you’re alone but your not. You have me, my family and I’m sure there are people who care about you, as much as I do. My mother thinks of you as her son, my father the same my older brother sees you as a little brother. From the moment I saw you in class I don’t know what I was feeling butterflies in my stomach, basically I had a humongous crush on you. And I was afraid of telling you in fear of ruining our friendship, I love you so much Corpse. And I hope one day maybe we’ll cross paths again.
Love Y/n xoxoxo
He clenched the letter in his hands, and cried. Throughout all the years of his life, she was the most important person.
And he had lost her, he loved her from the moment she talked to him.
The moment he looked into her [e/c] eyes at school, the moment played video games with her for the first time.
From that day one he visited her grave everyday despite his anxieties, he talked to her as if she was there.
And she was watching him in spirit form, even though he couldn’t see her, he knew she was there.
Summary: Your a Youtuber and in a stream you see this pen-pal app and download it, creating an account. This all happened months ago. The guy you met on there was amazing, and you talked for months until he just... stopped.
Genre: Angst?
warnings: swearing, fighting
Requested? No
Word count: 1402
I believe everyone deserves a second chance. No matter how difficult things are. No matter how ugly things got. But maybe sometimes, the problem is that I believe too much. Seeing good in every person, while of course, some people are just... not good.
But that's not how this story goes. No, he is good. I am a hundred percent sure of that. The question is, 'is he willing to change and show that side of him?'. I guess we won't find out if I don't reach out to him huh?
The grey laptop is on my couch, still warm from the last time I used it just an hour ago. Grabbing myself some hot chocolate I lay down on the soft pillows and pull my blanket up to my chest. Whilst finally deciding I'm comfortable in this position I grab the laptop again and open it, typing in my password. The device starts up, letting me in.
"miaow" a soft purring comes from the ground. My cat, Athena, jumps on the couch as soon as I pat it. "Hey there gorgeous" I greet her. The laptop dings, making it clear that it's ready to be used. I give it my full attention again. Should I really open Zaira?
Zaira is an online penpal app where you can anonymously make friends. I signed up about 2 years ago and never really managed to find someone I really hit it off with. You know, I just couldn't find the words to talk to any of the people who messaged me. My anxiety not really helping with making friends, of course, I thought meeting them online would be easier. I was wrong.
No one understood me, which isn't really surprising. I'm a bookworm, but also a gamer. I have lots of hobbies but not quite the energy to pursue them. The only thing that still has me uploading videos and streaming is the money and my supporters. My supporters standing first on the list, of course. I upload mostly gaming videos under the name Void. I go faceless. I never really liked my appearance for that matter.
I hesitate but still open it. The familiar logo greets me and only a moment after that my only friend on the site shows up, bringing back memories.
Zaira? What's this? "An online penpal app where you can add strangers and make friends. Now free in the AppStore!" I read the description out loud for my viewers. "Should I download it guys?" I ask the live chat, hoping they would say yes. Soon enough I get the confirmation from them and I click the button, hoping it won't take too long to download. I create a profile typing in my bio: 'Bookworm, Gamer, Weeb :)' The chat confirms that that pretty much describes me making me laugh. "Perhaps we can actually meet some cool people on here guys! Who knows?""Alright." I scroll through the site, reading people's bios until one of them spots the fans' eyes. The comments are going crazy fast right now. "click them!""omg Void, you have to message Sasori!" and more comments like that. I click on the profile, reading it's bio. Their given name is Sasori Matsudo. I laugh, explaining to some of the viewers that don't watch anime that these are names from Naruto and Death Note. "I suggest you watch them. those are some good animes!".
I smile at the memories and click on his profile. "Sasori Matsudo" the name rolls off my tongue. I chuckle "not a weeb huh?" Slowly looking through the messages, the familiar empty feeling enters my body again. To be honest, it never left. Ever since the fight, it was always there, following my every step. I close my eyes, letting the painful memories flood in again.
"I just don't understand why you can't talk about it with me!" your voice is slightly raised as you hold the phone in your shaking hand. "Because I just can't, okay! I can't keep throwing all of my shit onto you. you know I could never do that!" The man you know as Corpse yells back. You're both stressed out and upset, and this is the worst fight you ever had. You had decided to message 'Sasori Matsudo' on Zaira, and you two grew close very quickly. After 4 months of chatting on the site, he gave you his number. Not long after, he told you That he's the famous Youtuber known as Corpse Husband. You began to watch his videos and enjoyed them a lot, telling him so. In the fifth month of you two knowing each other, You started to call each other once in a while. That turned into calling every day, and soon you were calling more than 4 hours a day.
Your voice softens at his upset tone, realizing you're not the only one hurt here. You give a deep sigh before talking into your phone again. "I'm always here for you Corpse. I don't care how many times you call me, even if it's in the middle of the night. You make me feel better, you make me happy, and I want to be there for you. Please don't shut me out like this." you're practically begging at this point. He can't shut you out! Not like this.
"Void... You know I love you. Please, keep doing what you're doing, keep making videos and baking, and all the little things I love about you. But I just can't continue doing this to you. I'm sorry." He speaks up. The low voice you adore so much is soft and trembling. He sounds like he could break down crying any time now. "No, please, Corpse! Please don't leav-"
your phone lets out a long beep cutting you off. Breaking down crying, you hurl your hand against your mouth, attempting to silence your sobs. On the other side of the line, the man with the curly black mop on his head is doing the same. Tears flow down both of your eyes as void fills your hearts.
It hurts, but he knows he had to do this. He was always troubling you with his feelings, and he couldn't even show you his face! What kind of friend is that? Loud sobs take over his apartment, as his heart hurts, knowing he can't talk to you again.
And he didn't.
You lay on the couch, clenching your blanket awfully hard. You don't notice the tears streaming down your face till Athena climbs onto your lap and licks them off. You cuddle her in an attempt to comfort yourself, as the dark feeling in your chest grows stronger.
You open a new tab and type in his number. All the old messages show up. He probably blocked you, but you have to try. He wanted you to be happy, but then why did he leave you?!
After that night, he never messaged you again. Did he really not want to talk to you anymore? You ask yourself.
But all Corpse has been doing is lay in bed and upload videos once in a while. His followers noticed something is off, and so has his friends. He's acting off whenever he streams and rarely jokes around anymore.
You text him a simple 'how are you' and close your laptop after. The next day you check if he's replied. Nothing. You keep checking for two weeks, but nothing comes in. It's over. He's not coming back. You begin sobbing and lift yourself from the couch, scaring a sleeping Athena. You jog to the kitchen and shove everything off the counter, breaking some cups and plates in the process. Sliding down against the sink, you put your face in your hands, letting out an ear-piercing scream. The weight of the world is crashing down on you, and all you can do is cry and scream. The daydream is finally over.
Corpse saw your message. He's tried messaging you so many times, but each time he holds himself back. All he wants is to talk to you, but he knows he shouldn't. Well, that's what he believes is best. Every day he thinks about you, thinking that you have already forgotten him, though it's the opposite. You think about him every day, remembering all of the memories.
All the laughs and all the cries. All the comforts, to final goodbyes.
Hey Guys! I hope you're okay after this lil angsty piece of crap lmao. I tried my best. Anyways, if you have any comments or feedback, I always appreciate it! Oh, and 200 notes on 'Grocery Shopping'?!!??? Y'all are crazy, thank you so much!
If you liked this, my taglist is always open and so are my requests!
rewatching old sailor moon and thought of like... disgruntled tuxedo mask!corpse but with unrequited love because i’m a glutton for angst
wc: ~2.2k
warnings: death of a minor character, implicit knowledge of sailor moon lore, modern twist, unedited
please send in ideas you might have that i could write short blurbs for! this was honestly fun to write.
It’s a scratch he can’t itch. It’s what has him waking up in cold sweats, confused and moderately annoyed that his hard-earned sleep has been so rudely interrupted. He hates the cape, he hates the itchy suit, he abhors the top hat – and the only things he doesn’t really hate are his baton and endless supply of darkened roses.
The first time he transformed, he was half-asleep and struggling to understand why he was speeding down the highway and parking two blocks away from some random back alley. His pain was relatively dulled, which was surprising, and his body suddenly possessed a world of fighting skills that felt foreign yet familiar. All he could recognize was a slightly disheveled woman cursing and just trying her best against some odd form of demon spawn, and before he knew it, he’d thrown down a dark purple rose and engaged in combat. Once said woman found an opening, she took off her headband/tiara, performed a throw that would put professional frisbee players to shame, and the monster disintegrated into dust.
“Jesus Christ,” he panted, body hunched over and hands on his knees. “What the fuck was that?”
“More like who the fuck are you?”
“Fuck if I know,” he muttered and dusted himself off.
“What’s with your get-up anyways?” She failed to hide her snickering. “You’re 3 decades behind.”
“Do I look like I want to fight in a suit? Plus, you’re fighting in some rendition of a schoolgirl uniform.” Her black thigh-high boots were killer, but he wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction.
“You should’ve seen what it was before, but I was able to make some changes. Good heads-up for you and—”
“Sailor Moon, are you okay?!”
Oh. So she’s got a talking cat, too. What in fresh hell was going on? Did he take something? But also—“Your name is Sailor Moon?”
“We’re working on the name change,” she grumbled, bending down to let said feline jump up her arm and settle on her shoulder. “Anyways, uh…thanks. I was kind of in a bind, but I’m usually not I swear. Good timing, I guess?”
“If that’s what you wanna call it.” But she was already in the wind, hopping from roof to roof with no inhibitions, and left him completely dumbfounded.
His silly attire dissolved back into his previous clothing as he ambled back towards his car, thought not exactly at his own will. But he shrugged, slid into the car seat, and dialed the only person he could think of who would readily pick up at this ungodly hour of…2:37AM. That was just the start, and he can’t tell if things went downhill from there.
-
He should backtrack.
He met you almost two years ago at a hospital.
You had been waiting anxiously for your boyfriend to come out of surgery after being in a bad car accident, biting your nails, occasionally pacing back and forth, smoothing your hands worriedly against your jeans, and gnawing your bottom lip to death. It was midday, sometime after lunch, and he’d come in for some routine checkup he can’t remember what for now, and sat a few seats away from you in the tiny hospital coffee shop. He’s no therapist or expert, but he highly doubted that any caffeine would alleviate your anxiety. Yet you sat there with two to-go cups and a granola bar wrapper, and something told him to stick around for now.
He’s never been one for a lot of small talk, but you looked to be about his age and no one else was with you. Tragedy tasted most bitter when alone, and some force of the universe told him to at least say something, anything. So he stuffed his hands into his hoodie and shuffled awkwardly to your table, tentatively asking a, “Hey, uh…is everything okay?”
You’d looked up at him with wild eyes on the verge of tears, heart battering against your chest, and the only intelligible thing that left your mouth was a “Huh?”
And he’d casted a gentle grin, eyes laced with a mixture of pity and concern, and asked again his first question. “My boyfriend’s in surgery. He got in a bad accident. There’s um…roughly two hours left, I think.”
“And you thought coffee would make it better?” He jutted his chin towards your large cups.
“Hot chocolate,” you chuckled. “I’m not keen on torturing myself like that, not now at least.”
“Well, I’ve got an appointment soon but I should be done before his surgery’s over…want me to come check up on you?”
Dumbfounded was the best way to describe your expression, and he was so close to retracting his offer before you gave him one of the most thankful smiles he’d seen in many years. “I’d really appreciate that.”
He nodded. “Sounds good then. Give me a sec.”
At the counter, he paid for another cup of hot chocolate and added in a chocolate chip cookie for good measure before bringing it back to you. “I hear chocolate helps.”
“Thank you, again. Go, don’t want to make you late.”
But an hour and a half later in the waiting area outside surgery, the doctor came out with a solemn expression, and you all but collapsed into the plastic chairs, tears leaking like waterfalls from your eyes. Part of him wanted to bail and go because there wasn’t much he could do, but it wouldn’t be right to leave you to drive home now. He wanted to make sure that you were calmed down, all cried out, and breathing properly so you could at least operate a vehicle safely.
The same unknown force had him offering you his number in case you needed anyone to talk to, yet the conversation sat empty for weeks until curiosity and guilt ate at him. He tapped out a message, deleting it, then another one, more deleting, before he settled on a plain, “It’s the guy from the hospital. I know it’s been a while but…how are you?”
Your reply was almost instantaneous, to which he worried if he’d accidentally woken you up at 4:13AM. First, it’s a casual, “hey, thanks for checking up on me! I’m doing okay,” but he knew better. And the other shoe dropped in the form of a simple, “I miss him.”
It’s a quiet, heartwarming friendship. You know nothing specific about him – he’s incredibly vague on any identifying information. Hell, you’d be willing to bet that the name at the hospital was a fake one. Nevertheless, he’s one of your closest friends. You know he mainly works online, has a lot of trouble sleeping, is chronically ill and has a number of medical conditions, his general disposition and feelings on things, but overall, just wonderfully easy to talk to.
Yet something just feels wrong about falling in love with him. It’s a horrid combination of guilt and disbelief. Are you rebounding? Are you subconsciously searching for your dead ex-boyfriend? Are you so desperate for romantic connections that you’ve twisted yourself into believing you love a man that you’ve seen fewer times than the number of fingers you have?
You come to peace with it when his custom ringtone chimes softly on your nightstand in the middle of the night. Rain or shine, stars or none, there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him. Nothing has ever woken you up so quickly, not even alarms on interview days. “Hello?”
“Sorry, did I wake you up?”
“Kind of, but it’s fine. What’s up? Wait,” you interrupt yourself and listen carefully to your speaker. “Are you…driving?”
“…yeah.”
“Should I ask from or to where?”
“I…honestly don’t know. Something felt off, felt like I had to get out of my place and just fucking do something. So uh, I drove somewhere and just started driving back home.”
You curl up under your sheets on your side and plug your earbuds into the phone. “Well, did it get rid of whatever you were feeling?”
“I think so? Honestly couldn’t fucking tell you. Still really bizarre to me.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” you murmur. “Well, feel free to call me whenever you feel like that again.”
“I don’t wanna fuck up your sleep schedule though. Feel like it’ll happen more often than I’d like.”
“How about this – if I don’t pick up, it’ll just be my nice way of saying ‘fuck off, too busy sleeping right now’?”
A soft, deep chuckle warms your chest and cheeks. “Sounds good. So how’ve you been?”
“Well, you know…”
It’s the same night that you think you might have a chance at love again. You fall asleep with his voice weaving stories and tales in your ears and wake up to a message that says, “Wow, didn’t know I was so fucking boring that it made you snore so loud.” The hope that creeps through your veins is dangerous and thrums urgently whenever you get a call or message from him.
And as bright as a star, it all comes crashing down in a firey blaze.
You crash into a girl as mysterious and serenely beautiful as the moon with a talking black cat one afternoon. She exudes a gorgeous amount of confidence in her stance as she protects you from a creature that looks like it’s out of a horror video game, and you can only stare in awe. The cat from before yells instructions at you, throwing what looks like a pen with a red cap on it and you blindly follow them. Your subsequent red heels feel incredibly comfortable and you can’t remember the last time you wore a skirt – but there’s no time to ponder as you push the girl you were admiring out of harm’s way and somehow manage to direct fire at them from your fingertips.
The monster burns and screams in agony before getting hit with what looks like a glowing frisbee. Your savior wipes the dust off her outfit before extending a hand out to you, “Welcome to the club, Sailor Mars.”
Say what now?
“There’s gotta be a better name than that,” is the first thing you say as you get pulled up. She throws her head back and lets out a charmingly obnoxious laugh. “We’ll work on changing it. I can tell we’re gonna be good friends.”
“Her name ended up being a rip-off of my name,” the cat quips and receives a scowl from the supposed plagiarizer. “I’m Luna, and this is Sailor Moon, or Lunaria she says.”
“You gotta admit, that’s cutting it a little close,” you agree and Lunaria flips the bird. “How the fuck am I going to change Sailor Mars? Also, can I do anything about this outfit?”
“We can go shopping tomorrow for sure. Luna and I can fill you on everything and – oh, before I forget, there’s a guy—”
“So it looks like you don’t need my help?”
You freeze in your steps, startled by the familiar baritone approaching you two. He was involved in all this?
“I told you, I don’t need your help—”
“Is she new?”
“Yeah, which means, we really don’t need your help. She’s got actual fire power. Literal fire.”
“That’s pretty fucking cool,” he accepts. “Good to meet you.”
You spot a set of veiny fingers that appears in your peripheral and you tentatively turn in his direction, hoping that your hair will obstruct your face as much as possible. “Same,” your throat manages to squeak out as his warm hand engulfs yours in a firm handshake.
“Get out of here, Corpse,” Lunaria chides and lets go of you to push a finger to his chest.
“I’m only here because you fucking needed saving. Now you’ve got another person dragged in.”
“I told you, I’m not some fucking damsel in distress,” she hisses. The mirth in his visible eye only causes the infuriation to grow and swirl more vigorously in her gut.
You watch the exchange from the sidelines as Corpse’s teasing only increases and provokes Lunaria further, disheartened that you’ve never heard him laugh so much in one exchange before. Dread from deep within your veins begins to freeze around your heart, something so set and undeniable that causes your brain to realize that falling in love with him was a mistake. It was the kind of mistake that would strike you with pain for years and the intense foreshadowing has you spinning on your heel and bounding through an alleyway. Your outfit shifts back to what you’d been wearing before, the characteristic weight of your phone in your back pocket seeming heavier than ever.
You call him that night, holding in a deep breath when the dial tone breaks midway. A rustle, a breath, and then, “Hey what’s up?”
Oh god, you scream to yourself as your heart shatters at the bottom of your chest. His voice, again, cannot be misconstrued as anyone else’s – the inflection, the tone, the volume, everything belonged to him.
And the universe told you then and there that he, undoubtedly, belonged to her.
Just got into the fandom and now I’m absolutely obsessed. This is my first time drawing for him so I hope you guys like it and let me know if you use him for anything :)
