#cosmic composite

[liketolaugh-writes]

More Cosmic Composite fragments. This was one of those scenes that I always wanted so badly to get around to writing - the dramatic reunion of Alma and Yuu. While it's not stated explicitly, Alma is a trans girl here; she has Alma Karma's body, Past!Alma's hairstyle. This takes place right at the beginning of what would've been the Black Widow movie, although I've magically extended the timeline to give the kids time to grow up a bit.

Allen - 4 Lenalee - 5 Lavi - 7 Yuu - 7 Alma - 8

---

"And Yelena is bringing her daughter Alma, so-" Tony didn't get to finish his sentence as Yuu crushed the sandwich in his hands, Allen gasped and dropped the apple slice in his, and both Lavi and Lenalee shot furtive looks in Yuu's direction, all lightness gone from the room.

"There's no way, right?" Lavi murmured anxiously, eying Yuu with clear concern. Yuu was staring straight ahead, eyes wide, paler than Tony had ever seen him.

"He did have an Innocence," Lenalee murmured back, giving Yuu the same look of worry.

"Yuu?" Allen prodded tentatively, reaching over to grab Yuu's arm.

"...No," Yuu rasped at last, and then dropped his sandwich, turned away, and slid off the stool, shaking Allen's hand off in the process. "He said daughter. Shut up."

He stormed away, down the hall towards the elevator.

"Yuu!" Lenalee called out, slipping off her stool to follow. Allen grabbed her sleeve to stop her, and just shook his head when Lenalee looked up at him. She stopped, but kept staring off in the direction Yuu had gone, forehead creased in a way that looked out of place on a girl her age. Kids were gonna give themselves wrinkles.

Also, that was both the strongest and most concerning reaction that any name had ever gotten out of the kids, which was all the more baffling because the name 'Alma' had never appeared on any of the lists they'd made, including ones that contained non-exorcist members of the Order. Tony had never heard that name out of any of their mouths, ever.

"Something I should know?" he asked lightly, already reaching for his phone so he could call Natasha back and update her.

Lenalee turned an uncertain look on Allen. "Yuu's right... isn't he? I mean... Tony did say daughter. Alma was a boy."

"His soul was a woman," Allen said quietly, settling back down at his food without touching it.

"Sheesh," Lavi muttered, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. He didn't move to get back on his stool, eyes on the elevator. "I don't know if that would be the best thing ever or the worst." Finally, he turned his attention back on Tony and explained, "Alma and Yuu have... a kinda crazy history. Like, Uncle Steve and Uncle Bucky crazy. I think they died on good terms, but... you up for this, Allen?"

Allen nodded silently, then started picking at his food again. Tony assumed that this was Allen's job because of the deep and profound connection that everyone insisted he and Yuu had.

"You know you don't have to, right?" Tony checked anyway, because he did have to. "Yelena and Bucky will both be there. They're not gonna stand by and let the kids have at it." Although he'd have to warn both of them in advance, because from the sound of things, this could get rough.

Allen nodded again without looking up, and Tony bit his tongue and didn't press. Allen always got like this when he was forced to think too much about his past life; long after the age where the other kids had started mentioning things offhand, Allen continued to clam up whenever they even approached the topic. It leant extra weight to the other kids' insistence that Allen be allowed to forget as much about that life as he wanted, and pretend as if it had never happened.

"Okay. I'm going to call Aunt Tasha and give her a heads up about what might happen, and I'll be back in just a sec. Don't go anywhere." He whipped out his phone and stepped away, just enough that they wouldn't hear every word he said, and barely waited for Natasha to pick up before he said, "Okay, so you know how the name 'Alma' wasn't on any of the lists the kids made for us-"

---

In contrast to the normally loud, chaotic clamor that normally filled the common floors, the living room was dead silent as they waited for the elevator to finally arrive. Lenalee had seated herself on the back of one of the couches, right by her mother, watching it anxiously. Lavi was all but in Tony's lap, betraying his own worry as he fidgeted with his notebook, and Yuu was on the arm of the couch, staring unerringly at the elevator, tense all over. He did let Bucky run a hand up and down his back, trying to soothe him, but ignored Steve's gentle attempts to occupy him.

Allen was cross-legged on the ground, tucked out of sight against the back of one couch. Tony wished he could keep an eye on him, but he was pretty sure the kid had deliberately tucked himself out of sight - too clever for his age. Melinda was tense too, but it was more general, directed specifically away from the elevator. He and Melinda exchanged a look as the tension built.

Finally, the elevator opened, and the kids jumped. Yuu grunted in frustration as Natasha stepped out first, and Lavi twisted a hand into Tony's shirt, leaning in. Lenalee's breath hitched.

Natasha stepped aside, and Yelena stepped through right alongside her daughter, her brow furrowed deeply in a dubious look.

The young girl - almost exactly Yuu and Lavi's age, with black hair tied back in a thick ponytail - gasped, eyes going wide.

"Yuu," she breathed, eyes fixing immediately on Yuu, and both of them froze. Yuu's breath went shallow, eyes as wide as Alma's, and he leaned forward. Alma took a step back, grabbing Yelena's hand tighter, and Yuu flinched away. Alma's mouth fell open, and she took a step forward, reaching out as if to catch Yuu from across the room. Then she recoiled, looking guilty.

Oh, yeah. Tony could see that this relationship had been complicated.

Yelena's brow furrowed, and she looked down at Alma with a frown, clearly baffled by the reaction. Whatever Natasha had said to her, she obviously hadn't bought it, but Tony would bet she'd lose that skepticism pretty quick here.

Before she could speak, Allen emerged from behind the couch, taking slow, deliberate steps across the room toward Alma.

"Hi, Alma," he said, soft and friendly. Alma's eyes jerked to his, still wide. Allen held out his hand, open and unthreatening - remembered habits from when he was older, it had to be. "It's good to see you."

Alma stared at him for a moment, breathing shallowly, and then said, "You're... the kind boy. You helped us. I never got your name."

(It was doing funny things to Tony's heart, that that was always the first word people used for Allen's past life. Kind. Every time without fail.)

He couldn't see Allen's smile, but he could hear it in his voice. "That's right. I'm Allen. Nice to meet you."

Alma stared at him for a moment, then smiled hesitantly, let go of Yelena, and took a step toward Allen, hand out. Allen bypassed it to hug Alma as tightly as he could hug the much taller child with one arm, and he added one more thing, clear enough for the whole room to hear.

"Welcome back."

Alma hugged him back, tearing up, and Tony took the chance to glance at the other kids. Lenalee had covered her mouth with both hands, and Lavi had relaxed, exhaling shakily to glance at Yuu instead. Yuu hadn't relaxed, exactly, but his breath had evened out, and he'd slid back to sit in Bucky's lap without taking his eyes off the scene in front of him. Bucky was rubbing his side firmly, soothing him without words, studying Alma with a furrowed brow.

"I'm Alma," Alma murmured to Allen, looking down at his head. Belatedly, Tony noticed that she had an arm like Allen's, crusted in white spines. Parasite type, then. "I'm a girl. I think I was always a girl, even... when I wasn't."

"Okay. Do you want to see Yuu?" Allen's voice stayed steady, gentler than was normal for the rough-and-tumble child.

Yuu gasped softly, and Alma stole a glance up at him and nodded, biting her lip. Allen grabbed her hand and tugged her over in Yuu's direction, staying with her for every step. Alma kept pace, even though she would have gotten there much faster on her own, and she and Yuu stared at each other the whole way. Yuu slid off Bucky's lap and landed on the ground.

The moment they were within arm's reach of each other, Alma grabbed Yuu and pulled him against her. Uncharacteristically, Yuu didn't resist or even protest, and only trembled for a moment before, even more incredibly, he reached up and fisted his hands against her back, breath hitching and catching.

"A... Al... ma..." Yuu croaked.

"Yuu," Alma murmured back, warm and relieved. She sniffled and teared up, her face becoming streaked within seconds. "I'm so happy to see you."

The only reply Yuu gave to that was a sob, his hands twisting into her shirt. A moment later, Alma started sobbing too, and then Yuu was, and then they both sank to the ground, clutching at each other and crying loudly. It was all very dramatic and Hallmark-worthy, and it was making Tony wonder exactly how accurate the Steve-and-Bucky comparison had been, because that was a hell of a reaction.

Not satisfied, Allen stepped right up to them and turned to the couch Tony was sharing with Lavi, Lenalee, and Melinda, expression intense.

"Alma gets to forget like I get to forget," he declared, raising his head defiantly. "That's fair, isn't it?"

Lenalee clapped her hands and punched the air. "Yeah!"

"Totally fair!" Lavi agreed.

Wait, no. That was going to make it so much harder to figure out what had happened. Tony had still not gotten a single goddamn hint as to why Allen 'Beacon-of-Hope' Walker's life was so unbearably tragic that it warranted complete erasure.

"What the fuck just happened?" Yelena asked, so bluntly that Tony had to hold back a snort.

"Welcome to the family," Natasha told Yelena, a wry twist to her mouth. "All of the kids are reincarnated metahumans, old tragedies are buried around every corner, and one, now two, of them had past lives so terrible that no one is allowed to bring it up to them. I did tell you this earlier."

"Yes, but I didn't believe you." Yelena wrinkled her nose, studying the kids with a frown. The tears had slowed down, but Alma and Yuu were still clutching at each other like they expected to be torn apart by force. "What am I even supposed to do with this information?"

"Well, they did just declare pretty definitively that it would be better if everyone acted like Alma's past life didn't happen, so apparently nothing."

Allen had apparently tired himself out with that, and he toddled over to Tony and lifted his arms to be held. Tony picked him up immediately and jostled him until his head was resting against Tony's chest.

"You did great, kid," Tony assured him, reaching up to cup the back of his head. Allen flashed him a tired smile, then dropped his head again and put his thumb in his mouth, closing his eyes. Apparently that was enough big kid time for the day. "Proud of you."

[liketolaugh-writes]

I keep coming back to Allen, and what Allen is like in the Cosmic Composite rewrite. Because when I wrote that I didn't really understand Allen as a character the way I do now - I mean, parts of him, but the way his whole personality is paper mache? No way. I'm going to have to start from scratch on my Allen characterization, tbh.

Anyway, I keep picturing Tony trying to figure out what the fuck happened to Allen in his previous life. Because after a while, they know kind of what happened to Kanda, and to Lenalee, and Lavi and Miranda and Marie and Krory. But Allen?

Allen is the youngest, which means he's the last to be able to effectively communicate, and the rest of them, whenever someone asks, they just kind of get this far-off look in their eyes.

And they say, "It's probably best for him to just start over."

(Miranda says, "I don't really know, I'm sorry. He never talked about himself, at least not to me. He just always seemed kind of... sad.")

And for years, that's all that they know about Allen's past life. Is that he was sad, and everyone agrees that he should be allowed to forget about it.

[liketolaugh-writes]

Cosmic Composite snippet, in reference to yesterday's Allen musings. Lavi and Kanda are about eight years old, although that might be subject to change depending on how any finalized timelines (if they occur) pan out.

Also, this isn't intended to be Pepper-bashing, I just really don't think she's cut out to be a superhero's wife. She's great at lots of other things, but not that.

---

The final straw was when Pepper left.

Well, it was after Pepper left, technically. He didn't even blame her; it was as amicable as a divorce involving two kids could be, and it came at the heels of over years of her slowly becoming less and less involved. He wasn't all that surprised. She'd had reservations about marrying a self-proclaimed superhero, and about having kids, too. And it had been obvious pretty early on that the whole reincarnation concept, and especially all the baggage that came with it, was a bridge too far - one that she definitely blamed him for. Which, hell, probably wasn't wrong.

She'd done a whole 'it's not you, it's me' speech to all three of them. It didn't really help.

Tony of ten years ago would've drunk himself into a coma. Tony now had to hold it together for his kids - and while Lavi was doing his best to do the same, putting on a brave face for both Tony and Allen, Allen had taken the separation so badly that it screamed 'past life trauma.' Three broken windows, countless screaming meltdowns, and one runaway attempt later, Tony sat down with Lavi and Yuu after school while Steve took Allen out to try and sweet-talk him into talking about his feelings.

"This is about Old Allen again," Lavi said before Tony could even open his mouth. Tony shut it, and Lavi frowned at him in a way that he'd definitely learned from Pepper. "I keep telling you, it's way better this way." He snapped an apple slice viciously.

Yeah, it was not making Tony feel better that all of them kept insisting it was better to pretend Allen's previous life hadn't even happened. He let out a sigh, giving himself a moment to reach up and rub the bridge of his nose.

"Lavi..." He hesitated, dropped his hand, and decided that fuck it, they were both more than mature enough to take them seriously. "I've been trying to respect that, okay? I get that you want to give Allen a clean start. Really. I want that too." Lavi cocked his head skeptically, making Tony snort. Yuu scowled at his carrot sticks. "Really! But, it's obvious that Allen's past life is affecting him a lot, and it'd be easier to help him if we had some idea of what happened." While Allen's separation anxiety had always been much worse than Lavi's, the runaway attempt was new.

That got both of them. Lavi gave Yuu a shifty look, and Yuu scowled back, then scowled at the counter again, shoulders curving in a way Tony recognized as reluctant submission.

"You do it," Lavi said at last, kicking Yuu's stool. Yuu kicked his back.

"You do it, Bookman."

"He told you more!"

"So what?"

"So you'll tell it better!"

"I don't want to!"

"You get him!"

"Fine!" Yuu snapped. He turned back to Tony with a black scowl, and gave him no time to brace before he snapped, "Old Allen was a hollow person. A vessel. All he ever wanted was to be a real person, but he never fucking got that. He was born an exorcist. When he was little he had no parents and no name. When he was adopted, he got his name from a dead dog, and when that guy died, Allen spent the rest of his life play-acting as him because he hated being himself. Then later he found out that that guy was getting him ready to be possessed by his dead brother. Then he did get possessed. Then he found out that he'd promised his body to the dead brother, but he didn't remember because he'd been forced into a child form in between. Then we found out the world would end if the brother didn't take his body. Then he fucking died because it never mattered what Allen wanted, ever."

...Okay. Okay, Tony was going to need a minute or two to process that. For once, he was drawing an absolute, complete blank, not even a ramble falling out of his mouth.

...

Well, it definitely explained the tantrums.

"That was kind of harsh, Yuu," Lavi said into the silence following the rant. He was smiling uncomfortably, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, but he didn't deny anything Yuu had said.

"He wanted the truth, I told him the truth," Yuu snapped, crossing his arms to scowl at the counter. No matter what he said, it was obvious that the whole story bothered him too. "If you wanted to lie to him, you should've told the story, stupid rabbit."

"I didn't say lie," protested Lavi, and then gave Tony a sheepish smile, clearly strained but forcing enough lightness to joke around. "He basically got it though. I dunno how much it'll help. I don't think even Allen knows how much of him was real. That's probably why this is so hard for him."

Yuu huffed into his bowl of carrots. "He knows," he disagreed with conviction. "Acting like Mana was a choice that he made. He could've stopped any time he wanted."

Tony decided that he already hated this 'Mana' guy. But hey, now he knew why Allen had reacted so badly: abandonment issues out the wazoo. He considered his questions for a minute, and then settled on, "So... what was Mana-Allen like? I'm guessing they were pretty different, if you're saying it just wasn't him." People said Tony was just like his father all the time (ew) but no one had ever accused him of being a vessel for his father.

Mana-Allen, he saw Lavi mouth to himself, and then Lavi snickered, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck again.

"I dunno," was what Lavi settled on, reminding Tony that he was, in fact, still just eight. "He was really polite and formal, I guess. He smiled a lot. It wasn't really obvious what he was doing until you realized most of his smiles were fake." He considered for a moment. "He hated getting mad. I think maybe Mana never got mad but Allen couldn't help it, and he just couldn't cover it up well enough."

Yuu snorted and nodded in agreement. "That was when you really saw him," he said. "When he was mad, when he was grieving, and when he synchronized."

So far this was going exactly as expected, and it occurred to Tony that this sort of thing was why Pepper had left. She could barely handle one guy with PTSD. Two kids that were somehow born traumatized? There was no way.

Tony tried to imagine the sort of mindset you'd need to have to start pretending to be someone else, and never stop even after you found out that person wasn't really who you thought. Even after you found out they never really loved you. "I'm guessing he thought pretty highly of Mana?"

Even Lavi looked bitter at that; it was no wonder none of the kids had ever wanted to elaborate. "He loved him to the moon and back. I'm pretty sure he thought Mana was just better than him."

Zero self-worth. That was pretty much what Tony had thought. Also: horrifying.

"I'm going to make sure he never does that again," Tony decided, because what the hell else could he say to that?

[liketolaugh-writes]

Yo! Just came back from my regular reread of cosmic composite since I recently got back into dgm again. I gotta say, even though you've mentioned you're not content with the quality of that work, I'm still so grateful you did write so much of it and put it out into the world. Even though it's been like 6 years(?) now since I first read it, it still remains one of my favourites to come back to cause I really like how you integrated them into the mcu and how they're healing properly. Their reactions to the avengers and stronger bonds with each other are just so nice, and my favourite bits are usually when they reunite with one of the other exorcists (Tiedoll shoutout that was great, if you ever got to komui I would've been devastated /pos). Another thank you is for posting that lil snippet like 2 years ago! I also keep coming back to that, since it's so lovely to see your writing improvement as well as the new lore!!! Not sure if you're still working on it since you seem to be on batfam x Danny phantom, but yeah gotta show my appreciation!!! Stay healthy stay safe :D 🙏

I know I'm answering a few days late, but thank you!! <3 <3 Yeah, there are still a lot of specific scenes I'm proud of in that, and enough people love it that it's worth keeping up regardless of what I think of it overall.

Unfortunately, the Cosmic Composite rewrite was one of the casualties of my flash drive corrupting last year. :( I didn't lose as much as with some of the others, only about two chapters, but I still lost a lot of my will to work on it. I might come back to it eventually, but I'm not working on it now.

(I was thinking about it just the other day though. Yelena showing up with Alma and all of the adults trying to figure out the deal between Alma and Yuu and Allen... man.)

Thank you again, this was lovely to see. <3

[liketolaugh-writes]

An excerpt from the Cosmic Composite rewrite. Not the next part chronologically though.

----

Miranda Price was a small girl even for her age, dwarfed further by the figures around them. She tucked herself against Rosalind’s side, leaning in as if to hide, and Rosalind wrapped an arm around her shoulders in a rare gesture of softness.

“I’ve never told a-anyone about those memories,” she said, partially muffled by Rosalind’s arm. Rosalind shifted to free her mouth, and Miranda hid it again. “I didn’t know anyone else h-h-had th-them.”

“It was really the marks that gave you away,” Natasha told her, reaching out to gently grasp her hand and turn her wrist. “We know a few other children with them, and they’ve mentioned the memories as well.” She tapped the mark. “I can’t help but notice this seems to be open. Can you activate it?”

Miranda hesitated, searching Natasha’s gaze for a moment, and then gave Rosalind an anxious look. Rosalind squeezed her shoulder, and Miranda looked down.

“Time record,” she murmured. “Activate.”

With a few faint flashes of bright green, blood flowed from Miranda’s stigmata and formed a shape: a black disc, dotted with green, spun above her hands.

“It activated in DC,” she explained. “W-when all those SHIELD airplanes crashed. My little sister and I were i-inside one of the buildings that g-got hit, and Time Record h-h-helped us get out.”

Rosalind leaned over, frowning. “Your mother told me about that. I didn’t realize you... manifested anything. What does it do? It doesn’t appear to be a weapon like Yuu’s.”

Miranda shook her head. “Time Record i-isn’t a c-combat type. It’s the only one that isn’t.” She sounded sad about it. “It stops time in a, in a bubble around me for as long as I can h-hold it. B-but when I let go, everything c-catches up.”

Tony only allowed two seconds of chilled silence before he broke it. “That’s incredible. Can you do it now?”

“I did,” Miranda said, with a hint of a shy smile. “L-look at your watch, or y-your phone. Cell s-service gets disrupted too.”

Several of them pulled out their phones, and Talbot looked at his watch.

“Stopped,” he said, giving Miranda a wary look. Miranda instantly let go, and the bubble popped. Talbot watched it spin forward to the correct time. “Unbelievable... and dangerous.”

“I agree,” Rosalind said, startling most of them. But she didn’t look bothered, just focused. “Do you remember how you got it?”

Miranda smiled bashfully. “I made friends with a clock.”

“I’m sorry?” Steve said. Miranda ducked her head and tucked herself against Rosalind again, clinging to her jacket.

“I remember... I c-couldn’t hold a job at first,” she said haltingly. “I was too clumsy and too forgetful, and I d-didn’t have any friends. B-but there was a clock, a, a grandfather clock.” She picked at Rosalind’s jacket, and Rosalind brushed her hand off. Miranda hid her face. “I got it at a pawn sh-shop, because i-it was broken a-and no one could wind it. But when I tried, it w-was easy. I wound that clock every day.”

“And this...” Rosalind tapped Miranda’s stigmata, “was inside it?”

Miranda nodded. “When I got fired for the one hundredth time, I said I wished that tomorrow would never come. A-a-and when I w-woke up the next day, i-it was to the day before. October ninth. I lived that day thirty-four times." She peeked up, saw the Avengers, and hid her face again. “E-eventually the Black Order c-c-came to i-investigate, and me and my Innocence were brought in.”

Nearly all of them snapped to attention at that, but none more so than Bucky.

“The Black Order?” he asked sharply. “What was that? Why did they bring you in?”

Miranda squeaked and clutched at Rosalind, who looked exasperated, but shifted to accommodate her squirming.

“Mr. Barnes is the father of one of the reincarnated children,” she explained. “He’s only concerned.”

“Oh.” Miranda peeked up again, still wary. “The, the Black Order existed to collect Innocence and destroy akuma. They had c-contacts everywhere to r-report strange things that might be caused by, by Innocence. E-eventually, s-someone in a n-n-neighboring town n-noticed t-that t-the same letter h-had come every day for a month.”

“That’s a pretty localized effect,” Tony noted. Miranda nodded.

“But why bring you in?” Bucky pressed. Miranda squeaked again, but didn’t hide this time.

“B-because I h-had a bond with a, with an Innocence,” she explained, halting and soft. “T-they were always desperate for, for exorcists. Um, people who had an Innocence. Accommodators. You c-couldn’t defeat an, an akuma w-without an Innocence, b-but we had less than a, a dozen exorcists a-and a ton of unbonded Innocences.”

Rosalind’s eyes lit with recognition. “So you were valuable.”

Miranda nodded miserably. “The Black Order needed exorcists more than anything.”

“Miranda.” Steve leaned forward to meet her eyes, calm and serious. “Did they do something to you? Did they keep you from leaving?”

Miranda sniffled. “Yes,” she said. “I, I mean- they t-tried to be nice about it. I was so h-happy to have something that I was good at, I never even tried to leave. B-but others did, a-and stopped eventually. G-General Tiedoll s-stayed to p-p-protect s-some of the children they r-recruited. Lavi was there as, as a Bookman, a-and... I think Kanda and A-Allen had nowhere to go.”

“It sounds like there’s a reason you might have wanted to leave,” Rosalind pointed out mildly. Miranda nodded rapidly.

“Exorcists d-died all the time,” she said. “T-that was r-r-really why there were so f-few of us. They d-didn’t live that l-l-long.”

“The bad place,” Bucky concluded grimly.

Miranda frowned. “W-what?”

“When we asked him about those memories, Lavi mentioned a bad place,” Tony explained. “Wanda was able to look at some of Yuu’s memories and saw that he was being held somewhere. Lenalee, too, most likely.”

“Oh... yes.” Miranda shifted in discomfort, fidgeting with her sleeves, and then leaned against Rosalind again. “I was really lucky. By the time I was recruited, Chief Komui was in charge. Lenalee’s brother. E-everyone says things got a lot b-b-better a-after he took over. Lenalee and Kanda... they were there b-before Komui.” She shrugged. “L-Lenalee always just said she d-d-didn’t remember a lot from that time.”

“That’s common for children from especially traumatic childhoods,” Melinda said, sudden and unexpected. Tony remembered that her ex-husband was a psychiatrist. “Lenalee is my daughter now. Can you tell me anything else you remember?”

“O-oh!” Miranda perked up. “H-how is she? Is she okay?”

“She’s a toddler that can fly,” Melinda deadpanned. “She’s a hazard to herself and others.”

Miranda giggled. “L-Lenalee was one of, of the exorcists that c-came looking for me,” she said earnestly. “I l-liked her a lot. Um... she was v-v-very protective of her f-friends. She cared a-a-about friends and family m-more than anything.” Her smile faded. “A-and that made her a r-really good exorcist, b-because all her friends were, were Order members. The Vatican d-d-didn’t care why exorcists f-fought, as long as they did.”

Melinda’s brow furrowed. “The Vatican?”

Miranda blinked in innocent confusion. “Y-yes?”

“How did the Vatican become a player in this?” Tony elaborated, though he had a bad feeling about this.

“Oh.” Miranda fidgeted. “T-the Black Order was a, a church-s-sponsored organization. Most of, of their contacts c-came from that. I, um, I didn’t r-really understand the role of God i-in all that though. I don’t think any of us did.”

It clicked. “That’s how you all died,” Tony said. “The Vatican wanted to cover up the atrocities of the Black Order.”

Miranda’s grip on Rosalind tightened, fingers digging into her arm. “I don’t know about anything like that,” she mumbled against Rosalind’s sleeve. “I thought everything was fine until they came for me and Noise.”

Steve was frowning at Tony, and Tony explained, “The Vatican has a long, time-honored history of scandal. At some point, pick a day when you’re ready for some bad news, and I’ll tell you about the rat lines after World War II.”

“Can’t wait,” Steve muttered.

“Can you tell them a little more about what you remember?” Rosalind asked Miranda. “In addition to Agent May, Mr. Stark is the father of Lavi and Allen, and Mr. Barnes has Yuu. They’re very concerned about what might be affecting their children without their knowledge.”

Miranda’s expression turned thoughtful, and she relaxed again, slowly unwinding even as she stayed plastered to Rosalind.

“I’m sorry,” she said at last, pressing her cheek to Rosalind’s arm. “I’ve dreamed about all of them a lot, b-but they didn’t talk about themselves. S-so I don’t know very much.”

“The oldest of them is four,” Tony reminded her. “Anything you can tell us will be more than we know.”

Miranda nodded uncertainly. “Lavi was p-part of the, the Bookman clan,” she said at last. “They’re, um, secret historians, a-and Bookman Senior w-wanted to record the Holy War.” She tapped Rosalind’s arm anxiously. “U-um, he was playful, a-and very protective of his friends.” Tony grinned. Miranda smiled back for a moment. “Allen was... sweet. I mean, he was sad, because he had a lot to be sad about. But he was the kindest person you’d ever meet.” Some of Tony’s pride turned to clear worry. Miranda didn’t seem to notice this time. “Yuu... Yuu... Kanda? Japanese and blue eyes?” Bucky nodded. “He didn’t let anyone call him by his given name. He didn’t like letting people get too close to him. Um, Lenalee and Allen did anyway, though.” She glanced at Tony and added, “Kanda and Allen were really, really close, I think.”

Tony was surprised, but on second thought, he realized he shouldn’t have been. Allen had formed an instant attachment to Yuu, and Yuu was fairly protective of him in turn. If they really got along that well, maybe he should encourage that.

Rosalind ran her fingers through Miranda’s hair. “Thank you, Miranda,” she said. “That’s enough for now. I know you don’t spend much time with children, but would you like to see the others? I believe they’re playing right now.”

Miranda brightened instantly. “Yes, please!”

---

I wanted to reassure everyone that I haven't forgotten about this, I just have a lot on my plate right now. But I wanted to get this down, so here's a treat.

[liketolaugh-writes]

You've all been super sweet and supportive, so I wanted to share this as soon as possible.

----

Bucky had a kid.

Steve had no idea where the kid had come from, except that he’d crawled out of the pantry when Bucky called for him. Now he was up on Bucky’s hip, clinging on like a koala while Bucky shielded him from broken glass, gunfire, shrapnel. Their eyes met by chance, and Steve understood: bug-out was not an option. Whatever would stop the fire fastest, that was their course of action.

Steve shoved his shield at Bucky and Bucky didn’t argue, just pulled the child into a well-sheltered corner and set the shield over him. He was so small that the shield covered him completely, practically a tent over him while he huddled into Bucky’s side. Bucky looked grim.

With not a lot of options on his side, Steve was forced to hold his breath until the battering ram bashed open the door, and then he threw himself out, hands up.

“Hold your fire, hold your fire!” he shouted, wincing as two hasty shots flew past him anyway. “There’s a child inside! Hold your fire!”

That made most of the officers falter, and though none of them lowered their guns, they stopped shooting. One officer stepped forward.

“We know who’s in there, Captain,” he said coldly. “You have no jurisdiction here. Get out of the way.”

“He’s willing to surrender,” Steve blurted out. That hadn’t been the original plan, but he was going to have to cross his fingers and count on Tony and Natasha for this one. “Just don’t shoot. He’ll come quietly.”

A few of them murmured to each other, and the speaker, without lowering his gun, lifted one hand to press it to his comms. “Negotiation in progress. Captain America claims there’s a minor inside. Orders?” Pause. “Understood. Hereford, enter the apartment to visually confirm the presence of a minor.”

One of them cursed under his breath, then lowered his gun slightly and strode past Steve. Steve held his breath, grinding his teeth in frustration and anxiety.

A minute passed.

“Confirmed!” the man shouted after a minute, sounding surprised. “There’s a kid in here. Looks to be about four years old.”

The leader pressed his comms. “Confirmed.” Pause. “Understood.” He looked at Steve, still stone cold professional. “Captain, retrieve the child and instruct Barnes to disarm himself. If he makes any sudden movements, any at all, we shoot.”

Steve’s stomach clenched, because there were too many, far too many ways for the situation to turn against them, but he nodded. “Understood.”

With no better options, Steve turned around and went inside, well aware of the still-heightened tension of the hall. The officer inside looked guarded, the kitchen still a wreck from the first wave, and Bucky was still covering the kid. Steve stopped a yard and a half away and dropped down to one knee.

“Buck, they’ve agreed to take you in unharmed,” Steve said quietly. “But I need you to trust me with your kid for a bit. I promise I’ll look after him.”

Bucky gave him a long, unreadable look, and for a second, Steve didn’t think he was going to do it. But finally, he nodded and lifted his arm, revealing the child fully for the first time. The boy looked up, pale with fright, hands fisted into Bucky’s jacket.

“Go on, you,” Bucky murmured to the boy. “I need you to let Steve hold your hand for a bit. I’ll be right behind me.”

The boy looked back at Bucky, wavering and anxious, and then back at Steve. Finally, he nodded and let go, letting Steve, if he squinted, make out the way his hands trembled. He stumbled a little, and Steve caught him without thinking. The boy stared at him for a long moment, then lifted his arms in an unmistakable gesture.

Relieved, Steve picked him up.

On the other side of the room, Bucky exhaled with what seemed to be the same relief, and without being asked, he disarmed himself, throwing a few knives and guns out onto the ground. He stood up with the officer’s gun trained on him, then looked at Steve. Steve looked at the door.

“We’re coming out!” Steve called, and led the dangerous procession cautiously out the door.

-----

“Don’t, under any circumstances, admit to anyone what you were actually planning to do,” Natasha told Steve.

“I’m not an idiot, Natasha,” he sighed. He looked at the table, where the boy had his knees pulled to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. There was a cut-up apple beside him, but his face was hidden, and he didn’t seem to have any intention of eating it. “Any luck?”

Natasha sighed, muscles loosening as she moved on from her frustration. “No. We’ve run searches all over the world, there’s no missing children matching his description.”

Steve raised an eyebrow and looked at the boy. “There’s no... four-year-old Japanese boys with dark hair and dark eyes?”

Natasha rolled her eyes, but a hint of a smile tugged at her mouth, making her eyes dance with amusement. “Look closer. His eyes are dark blue. Very distinct.” She let Steve lean over to try and squint past the boy’s knees, and then continued, “That still leaves a lot of possibilities, but it means that there’s a good chance that he took you from a bad situation, which would still leave him more or less in the clear.” She saw Steve’s expression. “’Yuu’ is a Japanese name. I’ve heard it before.”

That did make more sense. “Can you try and talk to him? He won’t even look at me.”

“You’re hopeless,” Natasha told him, but she did go to sit beside Yuu and started to murmur to him. Only a minute later, Tony came in, bitching at someone over his shoulder.

“This close, Cap,” he said to Steve, holding his thumb and index fingers a millimeter apart. “We are this close to having the United Nations blow up in our faces.” Pause, as Tony absorbed what he’d just said. “Uh, to use a turn of phrase.”

Steve shook his head, exasperated. “How deep are we in the shit?” he asked.

“This close,” Tony repeated, shaking his hand at him, and then leaned back on the table. “But we’re not there yet. We’re saying that you went there to negotiate Barnes' surrender, since you knew they weren’t planning on taking him alive. It’s not like they can lie and say they were. You wore the uniform to get their attention. Boom. No issues with the law.”

“And the kid?”

“Formal custody might have to go to you,” Tony warned. “’International assassin’ doesn’t look great on the application papers. We’ll figure out where Barnes goes first, and then I’ll see what I can do, alright?”

Steve loosened. They might have clashed hard over the issue of the Accords, but Tony was a good teammate. “Thanks.”

Tony flashed him a split escond’s reassuring smile, and then both of them jumped.

“Papa,” Yuu said. When Steve looked over, he had lifted his head and apparently located Bucky on the security cameras, because he was pointing to him.

Natasha said something in quiet Russian, nodding toward the surveillance system, but Yuu just pointed again, more aggressively.

“Papa!”

“And if I were you, I’d consider setting him up with a child psychologist,” Tony added to Steve. Steve gave him a look, and Tony shrugged. “Can’t hurt. Trauma, speech delay, loss of speech – any of those things deserves at least a look.”

Steve considered that, then nodded grudgingly.

Then the power went out.

Two little feet hit the ground running.

It turned out that Yuu was a clever, wily little thing. Steve had no idea what he was thinking, but he was managing to keep himself out of arm’s reach, ducking under desks and rails that they had to go around. He jumped onto the railing and slid down a flight of stairs, fell off with a yelp, then got up and did it again.

“Oh, Bucky’s gonna kill me,” Steve muttered, unable to believe that he was struggling to catch a kid barely older than a toddler.

Natasha swung up onto the railing and slid down it, gaining a little ground on Yuu. Steve opted not to do that.

“Papa!” the boy started shouting, when they were five levels down. Instead of sliding down another staircase, he ran into the halls. Where was he going? “Papa! Papa!”

A roar of pain and fear echoed down the hallway. Steve’s blood chilled as he recognized it.

Now understanding Yuu’s intent, Steve put on a burst of speed and finally scooped the boy up. Yuu screamed and started kicking and struggling, then stopped when he realized that Steve was still running towards Bucky.

“Papa! Papa!” Yuu shouted again.

There was an awful, wet thwack, then silence. Then, raspy, “Yuu?”

“Papa!” Yuu struggled in Steve’s arms, but Steve walked forward, still tense and grateful for the shield on his back.

“Bucky?” Steve called out.

“...In here.”

Steve went inside. Bucky had broken out of his restraints, but he was sitting in the door of his containment cell, looking sweaty and exhausted. The psychologist was knocked out, slumped against the wall, and his blood splattered the floor and the back of Bucky’s metal hand. The table and chair had been knocked over and thrown aside.

“Bucky, what’ve you done?” Steve whispered. Bucky didn’t look up.

“Wait. Cap.” Natasha walked forward, grabbed something off the floor, and held it up. When Steve stared blankly, Natasha elaborated. “Red room record book.”

“Oh, hell,” Steve said, and then he set Yuu down, turned around, and went to negotiate Bucky’s quiet surrender for the second time.

----

Yuu was more responsive in a room with Bucky. He had to stay outside the cell, but seemed calmer in Bucky’s presence, which warmed Steve from the inside out. While he wasn’t any more talkative – Steve had yet to hear him say anything but ‘Papa’ – he’d picked out an orange from a fruit bowl someone had brought and held it out to Steve to cut up, and he was drawing on some printer paper with some black, red, and blue pens that had been scavenged from the local offices.

All things considered, round two of negotiations had gone better than Steve had expected. Some quick work on FRIDAY’s part had confirmed that the psychologist was a plant, that the EMP device had arrived in a package paid for in cash, and that only the plant’s fingerprints were on the code book. They were still – tentatively – in the clear.

Steve sat next to Yuu, not especially worried about the guard duty he’d promised to take over. Bucky seemed lost in thought, and Natasha had an eye on him.

“Hey, Yuu,” he said quietly. “Can I see your picture?”

Yuu paused, then shifted, giving Steve slightly better access to the sheet of paper he was working away on. Most of it was covered in sloppy stars – four-point, five-point, six-point, clustered together or surrounded by clumsy circles. A few looked oddly like a cross.

“It looks nice,” Steve told him anyway. “Can you tell me about it?” Yuu stared at him. “I don’t bite. I’m a friend of your papa’s.”

“He spoke Russian to me,” Natasha said, startling Steve. “He probably doesn’t understand you.”

Steve blushed. He should have thought of that. Yuu, however, transferred his gaze to Natasha, and then back to Steve, blank and inscrutable.

“I know English,” he said at last, voice raspier than Steve might have expected. He didn’t say anything else after that, just looked back down and started drawing again. A falling star, lightning, a constellation that didn’t exist. When enough time had passed to make Steve jump, Yuu said something else.

“I didn’t catch that,” Steve said.

“He said ‘Mandarin Chinese,’” Natasha translated. When he looked up, there was a trace of surprise on her face, though she wiped it away once he’d seen it. He had a feeling she’d let him. “Your friend must be determined to give him a talent for languages.”

Something twinged in Steve’s chest. “Bucky always liked languages,” he said. “Didn’t have much chance to learn any, but he liked them.”

“Wasn’t me,” Bucky rasped, making Steve jump sharply. Bucky was looking at him now, eyes surprisingly clear and calm. “Today’s the first time I’ve heard him say anything more than ‘Papa.’”

“Speech delay,” Natasha noted, glancing down at Yuu.

Steve kept his attention on Bucky, unable to suppress his curiosity. “Where’d you even find him? I didn’t know you had a kid, and he’d older than...” He trailed off, reluctant to bring up Bucky’s time with HYDRA directly. Still, Bucky nodded.

“HYDRA bred him,” Bucky said. “Gave him to me to train.”

“Bred?” Steve echoed, brow furrowing. “You don’t breed people.”

“They do,” Bucky said. It made Steve grimace, but on second thought, he found he didn’t doubt it.

“So you took him out with you?” Steve asked softly. Bucky nodded.

“He’s mine,” he said. “Not my blood. Not my ward. But mine to raise.”

“You know it might not work out that way, right?” Steve warned, unable to help it. Bucky nodded.

“He’ll be safe with you,” Bucky said.

A clatter made them look over. Yuu snarled at all of them, pens scattered across the floor where he’d taken a handful and thrown them against the glass wall of Bucky’s cell. He threw another handful at Steve, then ran away to crouch in a corner and sulk.

Steve gave Bucky an apologetic glance, and Bucky rolled his eyes and shrugged, reminding Steve so sharply of Tony that he barked out a laugh. Tony made the same face whenever Lavi threw a tantrum about someone turning a page for him.

“Kids, right?” Steve said fondly. The corner of Bucky’s mouth tweaked up, and he nodded. “I’ll go-”

“I got it,” Natasha interrupted, heading over. “You boys talk.”

Bucky and Steve stared at each other.

“You have a kid?” Bucky asked at last, expression still flat and unreadable. Steve shook his head.

“No, goodness, no,” he said hastily. He thought of Peggy, and mournful longing tugged at his heartstrings before he forced the thought away. “Tony has two, Lavi and Allen. Lavi’s about Yuu’s age. Mature enough to help look after his baby brother, but he still throws tantrums now and again.”

“Lavi,” Bucky said. “Hebrew name.”

“From someone on his mother’s side,” Steve said. “Can’t remember who.”

They stared at each other.

“Tony’s tracking the shipment of the EMP and the bomb,” Steve told him, when the silence was too much. “And there are people interrogating the HYDRA plant. It’s gonna be okay, Buck. We’re gonna get you out of there.”

Bucky snorted. He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t look upset either.

“Yuu’s autistic,” he said out of nowhere. “Got him diagnosed when he wasn’t speaking by three. Let him work at his own pace. Don’t feed him mashed foods.” Cleared his throat. “He’s an independent kid. He’s had to be.”

Steve’s heart ached for Bucky. “Not your fault, Bucky.” Bucky grunted. “It happens sometimes. Lavi’s independent too. He’s made food for himself and his little brother before. Even tried to use the stove, until Tony’s AI tattled on him.”

Bucky smiled a little. “Yuu can use a stove.”

Steve choked, and tried not to loudly disapprove at Bucky. Bucky’s eyes glittered with amusement, which almost made up for the fact that it was definitely at Steve’s expense.

“A knife, too,” Bucky added.

“You’re such a dick,” Steve said, unable to keep the laughter out of his voice. “Why did I miss you?”

Steve’s phone chirped, breaking up the moment. Reluctantly, he glanced down, then answered it.

“Tony?”

“Would you sign the Accords if it got Barnes a plea deal?” Tony asked.

Steve’s chest tightened, but without hesitation, he said, “I’m listening. How good of a plea deal is it?”

[liketolaugh-writes]

Some content notes on the piece I just posted:

The biggest reason I was never able to pick up Cosmic Composite again is because, while I know a lot of people really loved it, I was absolutely mortified by the content as time passed. It scratches a lot of emotional itches, and I get that, I will read GARBAGE if it has the emotions I want, but it's just not good, and I want my work to be good. I was seventeen when I started Cosmic Composite. I'm twenty-five now, and I've lived with my toddler nephew for two and a half years.

Some things will stay the same! Most of the parents, for example, and the conclusion. Certain subplots will stay, such as Lenalee and Ward, and Kanda and Alma. There will still be a huge focus on the kids recovering from their traumatic existences, and it'll be much better done. (Shameless plug for my PJO therapy series if you want to see how far I've come on that - frankly, I'm kind of shocked I managed to pull my attention away from it long enough to write this.)

Some things that will change:

The kids' behavior will be a lot more developmentally appropriate. I think I've figured out how to strike a good balance between 'needing a trigger to remember' and 'fully developed brain at zero months old,' which is that they're going to remember everything, but their comprehension of those memories and the associated emotions is going to depend on their maturity and intelligence as they grow up.

Some parents have been changed. Allen has been reassigned to Tony and Pepper, since I felt the Steve/Natasha was forced and Allen's abuse and recovery arc was sloppily done. Alma has been reassigned to Yelena, which will introduce her into the story earlier.

The plot is being completely redone, because frankly, I had no idea what I was doing and I never figured it out. I put together some arcs that I still like, some scenes that I still like, but overall - well, I was seventeen/eighteen/nineteen. It shows. It'll have roughly the same conclusion, but the journey there will be a lot more organized.

The exorcists were killed off for a slightly different reason. I think I'm gonna keep it to myself for now.

I have too many other projects to commit to a posting schedule right now, so it won't be going up on AO3. But I actually know how to conceive plotlines with real endings now (spoiler: did not know how to do that when I was last in DGM) so the prospects are much better, and I really, really want to do this. <3

[liketolaugh-writes]

Hey there! I'd just like to pass by to say that I've finished my bimonthly reread of cosmic composite and?? I've forgotten how much I love it?? It's such a lovely work, and the whole thing pleases me to a degree im not sure I can explain. Do you have any other deleted scenes or drabbles for that universe? Any particular HCs you wouldn't mind sharing?? I hope your day is wonderful!! 💕💕

Thank you!! I appreciate it a lot - I’m glad you still like it even though I don’t so much myself anymore, lmao.

I haven’t thought about CC in a while, not seriously, but I went digging through old outlines and notes for this just to see. They’re pretty vague, because they’re so far in the future, but I had them.

The outline for the rest of this arc-

-         And then, the first day of school, includingmeeting the teacher and a short talk, the start of class, recess, and rightafter.

-         Some despair and stressing.

-         A few days later, where Yuu has a foul encounterwith another student and Lavi rescues him.

-         Homework and more grumpiness, and some talkingamong the parents and kids.

-         Lavi admits difficulty and adds a little aboutYuu’s problem, and some talk with both of them trying to help them.

-         The teacher pulls Yuu aside, concerned, and Yuusnaps and is defensive.

-         Allen and Yuu arguing about the problem boy, orrather, Yuu complaining and Allen trying to help.

-         Lenalee and Lavi talking about Lavi’s problemsat school, which basically amounts to ‘I don’t know, Lenalee.’

-         Teresa pranks Lavi, and Lavi, alreadyfrustrated, starts to get upset, but she’s laughing, and King’s ‘bragging’about it, and slowly, he sees the humor in it. And that’s Lavi’s friend group.

-         And the parents are really starting to worryabout Yuu, and he’s getting defensive even with them now, he says he’s fine.

-         Yuu just dislikes the sight of the problem boy,now, so when he sees him picking on Rosie, he just goes and chases him off forno reason.

-         And then later Rosie comes and they can bondover drawing, forming a loose bond that I can solidify later.

-         And Yuu comes home and Lavi delights inexplaining about his new friend for him, and Yuu’s very noncommittal buteveryone else is pleased and relieved.

-         And that might actually be the end of the arc?

Yuu’sfriend: Elena, a girl who’s quite shy, with follower tendencies, but a quickmind and a love of physical play, tag and hopscotch and such.

Lavi’sfriends: ‘King’, a boy who’s boastful and loud. And Teresa, amischief-minded girl with a semi-strict family. (Together they are thetroublemaking trio slash defense squad.)

Teacher:Mrs. Lorelei, who errs on the side of whimsy but does have a sharp eye forpotentially worrisome factors, and a sense of when to keep quiet/feignoblivion.

-------

The gist of the events in the Lenalee + Ward subplot-

(targeting4) Ward meets Lenalee face-to-face again, Lenalee activates her Innocence infront of Ward

(targeting 5) Ward tries to get Lenalee to come to his side

(targeting 7) Ward kidnaps Lenalee and treats her creepily well (board game),Ward introduces Lenalee to his organization (Bookman), Ward tries (and fails)to teach Lenalee to fight better than she already can, Lenalee tells Wardexactly what she thinks of what he’s doing

(targeting 13) Ward does somethingterrible and Lenalee screams at him for it, Ward helps Lenalee out of a badsituation

(targeting 16) Ward begins contacting Lenalee regularly, Ward solvesa (big) problem for Lenalee, Ward drops by a big event for Lenalee, (Lenalee still hates his guts but she’s not as hostile)

(age 18)Ward activates the Reality Gauntlet and is killed.

--------

The gist of the events around Alma + Yuu-

Kanda gets word of Alma’s presence

Kanda meets Alma face-to-face for the firsttime (“I remember you. You killed me”) and they fight

Kanda finds Alma in avulnerable position and helps instead of hurting them

Alma and Allen encounterand Allen earns himself the title of ‘ally’ (“a mutual friend asked me to”/“Yuuwill always be your friend”)

Alma escapes HYDRA with Loki

Kanda and Alma havea talk that ends in fighting (“you know who I was”)

Kanda and Alma have a talkthat doesn’t end in fighting (“who am I?” “whoever you want to be”)

Alma comesout as trans

Kanda and Alma fight side by side

Alma rescues Kanda

Alma comesto SHIELD

Alma and Allen make friends

Kanda and Alma get together

Alma andLenalee make friends

------

And the basic outline for Loki’s arc-

Lokibreaks free of Thanos’ influence and runs around angrily on Earth bc Thor hasno idea

Loki encounters the Avengers and fights back against them

Lokiencounters the Avengers and does not actually fight but it does not go well

Lokiencounters Alma incidentally w/ mentions of his other children

Loki is enticedto fight against HYDRA one time only

Loki picks up Alma

Loki and Alma fightthe Avengers

Loki defends Alma against HYDRA

Loki confesses to betterunderstanding his father now

Thanos sends forces after Loki

Loki joinsSHIELD

Loki pseudosolves the crossing-universes issue (bc of his understanding of magic)

----

And that’s... probably everything I still have, unless I go looking through the old Big Documents (where I kept everything so I wouldn’t have to open a new blank document for everything lmao). Keep in mind that I didn’t work too much on this stuff since it was so far in the future, and I figured I’d need to move stuff around anyway.