#coti15

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Full Free Match from “Top Banana”

Challenge of the Immortals Finals: Crown & Court (Princess Kimberlee, Jervis Cottonbelly & Los Ice Creams) vs. The Wrecking Crew (Devastation Corporation & Jaka)

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We Believe. But Will it be Enough? [Top Banana]

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Flex Rumblecrunch blog, 11.13.2015

Challenge of the Immortals.

Think about that last word. IMMORTAL. In this life you live and you die but only great men achieve immortality. You devastate the opposition, become kings, and then become immortal. When you read those words, a certain group should come to mind.

That group most certainly is not Crown And Court. When you read the word "devastate", you don’t think of a princess. Two clowns walking with cone heads is certainly the last image you should conjure up when you read the word "kings". Crown And Court has quite literally stumbled their way into the finals of the #COTI15 tournament and now find themselves on a date with destiny. A chance to live forever.

The problem is, Crown And Court should NOT even be walking into the 2300 Arena at "Top Banana" with a chance to achieve greatness. They are only here as a result of dumb luck. They are only here because the team with the most points suddenly had an attack of conscience. Crown And Court haven’t earned it. The points they have acquired have come by way of pure fluke. Especially the one they got at “Justice is Blind”. You can't just fail your way into immortality. You need to step up and take it!

You need to devastate. You need to earn the right to be called "kings". Then you need to grab immortality by the throat and make it yours. The images you should be seeing now are the faces of Jaka, Max Smashmaster, Blaster McMassive and Flex Rumblecrunch. The Devastation Corporation have dominated the scene since Day One. We have devastated the competition and have earned the right to be called kings. The only thing left for us is immortality. You can bet every pay window from here to kingdom come that we are (sorry Princess) the only team in this entire round-robin that can do it! Crown And Court will simply die as mortals and be lost to the pages of history. That faint flicker of hope, that light at the end of the tunnel, is the raging inferno of the unbeatable Wrecking Crew that will engulf all those who stand before it on December 5th.

-FR

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Max Smashmaster blog, 10.31.2015

This is to all you Clowns who didn’t think we had the legs to make it in CHIKARA. You mindless people who think all your five-foot-nothing wrestlers can overcome our dominance. This also goes for the boys in the back who say the same stuff. We hear the same old clichés, time and time again, as we walk into the locker room. You’re the same people who are saying that without Sidney we are not the same. Might as well spit in our faces, we might actually respect you more if you did that; rather than hide behind your keyboards and masks. Some might say that CHIKARA isn’t the same after all their casualties. OH?! Did I hit a nerve; did I find a chink in your armor? Don’t worry, I can wait while you get a tissue to wipe your tears away. Are you OK? I don’t care either way.

You are all huge babies and we are sick of it. We are the same people we have always been. We would slap our mothers in their mouths just to make a payday. So let’s stop making claims that we can’t win anymore.

Speaking of being winners, we lead the pack in "Challenge of the Immortals" for months. MONTHS. We put every team on watch was we laid waste to everyone in our path to being Immortal. So what, we threw a match in North Carolina, and Blaster lost a few. But there is one team in CHIKARA that just won’t learn, one team that would be better off throwing the rest of their matches. Actually they should probably quit the business all together. "Broad And Court" you need to realize you are making a huge mistake. TIED, you’ve tied us in the standings. Go back and watch our matches from this year. I’m positive you don’t remember any of them; because we beat your skulls in so badly, you probably forgot the matches and math too. Go give the matches a watch, turn the volume up real loud. The cries from teammates as the others are getting pulverized; they are chilling even to us.

We have 11 points and you have 11 points. We are going to eviscerate the Arcane Horde on November 7th, and then mutilate John Fernando and his Nations the next night in Philadelphia. We are not scared because it’s very obvious, that you are going to lose. Losing is what you’re used to, winning is our best trait. Just like we’ve had a string of mishaps, you have also had your fluke victories. Enjoy the paydays because those days are over, and you will be back to being carpenters in a few weeks. Being tied with The Wrecking Crew, even for a week, is the height of your professional careers. Enjoy it before it's gone.

Enough about them; UltraMantis Black! Your Horde of flunkies is in for the fight for their lives. Your demons will pay with their lives, as will your Cromagna-moron Oleg. We know you have no friends left. CHIKARA fans, there will be no replacement for Mantis. He is leading his troops into the slaughter house and you will all bear witness to the Kings of Trios FOREVER, the World Tag Team Champions FOREVER, and soon to be IMMORTALS.

-MS

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The Challenge of the Immortals tournament will come to a conclusion in just 12 days. The final matches in the double round robin tournament have been signed for “Babylon Springs” at the Wrestle Factory in Philadelphia, PA.

Fire Ant of the Battle Hive takes on Silver Ant of the Nightmare Warriors in a first ever singles bout. Fire Ant already has had to deal with his former partner Soldier Ant being brainwashed standing alongside the BDK, and now Silver Ant has succumb to the influence of his Nightmare Warrior partners and now praises Nazmaldun alongside the rest of him. This very personal contest could get interesting.

Meanwhile, the Wrecking Crew compete in trios action with the United Nations, after Blaster McMassive devastated (pun intended) Mr. Azerbaijan in 5 seconds a few weeks back at “The Ocean Walker.” The current first place team, Dasher’s Dugout, has the opportunity to cinch that spot when Heidi Lovelace takes on the BDK’s Soldier Ant, who along with Jakob defeated Heidi and Icarus at “The Immaculate Election” in July. 

It’s still a toss up who will take the top two spots, with the chance of a three way tie for second being possible. These will definitely be two shows to watch.

“Babylon Springs” - Sunday, November 8th - Philadelphia, PA

1) Challenge of the Immortals: Fire Ant [Battle Hive] vs. Silver Ant [Nightmare Warriors]

2) Challenge of the Immortals: Juan Francisco de Coronado/The Proletariat Boar of Moldova/Mr. Azerbaijan [United Nations] vs. Max Smashmaster/Blaster McMassive/Flex Rumblecrunch [Wrecking Crew]

3) Challenge of the Immortals: Heidi Lovelace [Dasher’s Dugout] vs. Soldier Ant [BDK]

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The Challenge of the Immortals tournament will come to a conclusion in just 12 days. The first batch of the matches have been signed for “Key Decisions”, CHIKARA’s first time in Reading, PA since February of 2013.

The main event is a doozy, as the Wrecking Crew meets The Arcane Horde in a 4 vs. 4 match. The Wrecking Crew, who defeated the Horde in a trios match back at “Spring Breakout”, insisted they would only battle the Horde in an Atomicos match. Of course, this was after they injured UltraMantis Black at “King of Trios, Night 2″, knowing full well he would be in no shape to compete in any future event. Luckily for Mantis, Director of Fun Mike Quackenbush has granted the Horde a one time only replacement for Mantis in this tournament since the Wrecking Crew has turned down any offers for a singles or tag team bout. A Special Update posted last week would lead viewers to believe that Mantis has helped raised Kobald from the dead, but the only way to be certain would be to see the show on November 7th. A loss here would not completely eliminate the Wrecking Crew from potentially reaching the tournament finals, but it could.

The other two tournament bouts are tag matches, with Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy of the Gentleman’s Club facing Hallowicked & Frightmare of the Nightmare Warriors (Taylor defeated Frightmare at “Making A Stand”) and Princess Kimberlee & El Hijo del Ice Cream of Crown & Court, who have jumped all the way from last place into being tied for second place with the Wrecking Crew, take on the Snake Pit of Ophidian & Argus (the Snake Pit defeated Crown & Court at “The Immaculate Election”). 

There will also be a BDK vs. United Nations Challenge of the Immortals match, but participants have yet to be named.

“Key Decisions” - Saturday, November 7th -  Reading, PA 

1) Challenge of the Immortals: Oleg the Usurper/Obariyon/Kodama/??? [Arcane Horde] vs. Max Smashmaster/Blaster McMassive/Flex Rumblecrunch/Jaka [Wrecking Crew]

2) Challenge of the Immortals: Chuck Taylor/Orange Cassidy [Gentleman’s Club] vs. Hallowicked/Frightmare [Nightmare Warriors]

3) Challenge of the Immortals: Princess Kimberlee/El Hijo del Ice Cream [Crown & Court] vs. Ophidian/Argus [Snake Pit]

4) Challenge of the Immortals: [BDK] vs. [United Nations] (Participants TBA)

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Event Center (10.16.2015) ft. words from Drew Gulak and Orange Cassidy.

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The first three matches for “Exit Strategy” in Columbus, OH on Sunday, October 25th have been signed!

The first two bouts are singles matches in the “Challenge of the Immortals” series. One pits Crown & Court team captain Princess Kimberlee against BDK captain Jakob Hammermeier. The BDK hold a trios victory over Crown & Court in the tournament, but Kimberlee has had a lot of success on her own, so we’ll see if she can get another point for her underdog team. 

The other singles bout pits the Battle Hive’s Ashley Remington against Oleg the Usurper of the Arcane Horde. It was Remington who pinned Kodama in a trios match between these two teams back at “Sword of Destiny”, so no doubt Amasis is hoping Remington can strike twice.

Finally, in a non-tournament first time singles match, Icarus and the Proletariat Boar of Moldova do battle for a point towards the Grand Championship.

“Exit Strategy” -  Sunday, October 25th  -  Columbus, OH

1) Challenge of the Immortals: Princess Kimberlee [Crown & Court] vs. Jakob Hammermeier [BDK]

2)  Challenge of the Immortals: Ashley Remington [Battle Hive] vs. Oleg the Usurper [Arcane Horde]

3) Icarus (0 Points) vs. The Proletariat Boar of Moldova (0 Points)