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💬 - Latest Silly Thing that's been on your mind!!
Send "💬" for the mun to talk about whatever is on their mind!
Since I've decided to use my time to talk about things I like bibliomania is a very beautiful and extremely underrated horror manga! Please read it if you ever have the chance. :^O
Can you tell me what you want, what you really really want?
i.e., what I want (with the proviso that i don't know it)
people to do things that i approve of (because i am not a moral nihilist)
to be in the right place at the right time doing things that i approve of (this one's easy)
to be happy
there are also smaller things, such as
"to be warm" [i.e., have my arms around people and hug them and stuff like that]
"to have some of the other people in the world be aware of me" (this one doesn't have to be "i like them personally" or anything like that. if you read a lot of this blog you can see how it has worked out, because it's basically true)
to have a body that works
and so on. but the things that i want for myself (at least at this stage of my life) and the things i want for the world mostly have the same shape.
there are some things that i feel like i do want but don't really want in a very strong sense:
being "loved" as in the abstract term
to have a "good personality" or whatever the hell that is (I get told this all the time) (I know what "personality" means but I am not entirely clear on the details)
to get a cool job that makes me interesting
to not do things that cause me to be unhappy
and so on, and the shape of those things is basically the same as the shape of the shape of things i want for myself
(with the proviso that "getting cool job" is not an independent good that i have an incentive to pursue. there are lots of cool jobs but getting one is more of a "thing you have to do to do other things" thing, with the result that it can be frustrating to be trying to get one and getting frustrated about it but not finding anything i actually want or have an incentive to pursue. and of course there are limits to how many cool jobs are "actually out there" – there are probably like 20 people in the world who want to have a cool job exactly the way i want. you could get that by being famous enough to have a cool job, but it's not easy and that's not the direction i want to go. i want to be like those 20 people.)
Present Mic?
ic ;; Fuyumi quickly tries to hide her face as it flushes an even deeper shade of red. “W-Well I-I...h-he...”
Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY
God this feels like I'm sending anon hate it's so horrible why are you letting us hurt the dad
(( MWEHEHEHEHEHEH- *dives out the window*—))
@cottoncanada won this month’s Patreon raffle! The prompt this time was a drawing with yourself or your OC with your favorite character, and they chose Aless! It’s fun to draw height differences (especially when the taller person is an asshole)...
To get some cool art like this, sign up for our Patreon, where every dollar in your monthly donation gets you a name in the hat for our art raffles!
Head over to TriSky’s Patreon today!
@cottoncanada
oH MT GOD THAT DARK MAGICIAN GIRL CARD IS BEAUTIFUL
;0 ikr!!! she’s from the darkside of dimensions card packs
"It's okay to hurt and break down, you don't have to be strong all of the time." For Garret
He looked broken. Fenris had few other words to describe him. Hawke had finally been brought down, after years of standing against the tides. Templars, mages, qunari and even the death of most of his family had come and gone. It hurt him but he always managed to get through it, still standing. Now he had lost the fire inside him. Everyone could see it, how tired his eyes were, the slump of his shoulders. He was not the man who stood before the storm, he had been swept away far from their reach.
The elf was at the door to the mansion, gauntlet against the wood. He had come here for some reason, just a feeling perhaps, but he didn’t know what he might say. The man’s brother had just been turned tranquil, he could not even begin to understand what that was putting him through, how was he expected to comfort him? Yet there had to be something he could offer him.
His knuckles tapped on the door and only moments after Bodahn opened the door. He offered his pleasant merchant smile as he stepped aside. “You’ll find him in his room... do try to get him to eat something if you can, there is a tray outside the door.”
“I will do what I can,” he replied curtly, his stride unbroken as he mounted the stairs.
As the dwarf said there was still a full tray of food outside the man’s room. He scoffed lightly, did the man think that no one would find out that he was not taking care of himself? There was a moment of hesitation as he picked up the tray, shaking away memories that pressed against his thoughts. Now was not the time to worry about those things. He knocked, hearing a heavy sigh from the other side.
“I’m not hungry, Orana, please go...”
The tone in the man’s voice made Fenris’ heart feel tight in his chest. Heavy and distant. With a breath he entered the room. “Hawke...”
The man jolted at the sound of the elf’s voice. He rolled onto his side, lifting his head from the pillow. His eyes were bloodshot and heavy from sleeplessness, not even hiding the emotions anymore. After a moment of staring the man sat up stiffly, running his hand through his hair in an attempt to fix it.
“Fenris... what are you...?” he sighed again, as if it wasn’t even worth finishing.
The elf brought the tray over to the chairs set in front of the fireplace. “Come and eat Hawke...”
Without any fuss he did as he was told, trying to force himself to keep straight up as he moved. Fenris watched him carefully, noting the exhaustion in every move even as the man tried to hide it. Stubborn, he mused. He was still trying to be so strong after everything, even when no one would blame him for letting go. He, however, did not know how to tell Hawke this without sounding like he was pitying the man, which was the last thing he wanted. Too proud to ask for help, even when it would be so freely given.
So they sat in silence as Hawke forced some of the food down his throat, straining with each swallow. When it was finally too much to take another bite he slumped forwards, head falling to his hands.
“Why are you here Fenris?”
He took a moment to think. “To be here. I may not know what to say, but I at least can offer that.”
“Fenris, you don’t have to-”
The elf stood then, halting the man’s words. His eyes were anywhere but on Hawke, not knowing if any of this was right. "Hawke, we do worry. And...” he hesitated and looked at his feet. Something Merrill had said before came to mind. “It's okay. To hurt... to break down. You don't have to be strong all of the time... no one expects that Hawke."
Suddenly Hawke was on his feet. Fenris could feel the anger rolling off him, quickly stepping back, eyes trained on the man’s body, searching for signs of an attack. He watched the man’s chest heaving, his fists clenched tight enough that his nails dug into his palms. If he could have brought himself to look at his eyes he would have seen only rage.
Then as fast as the anger came, it started to fall away. He started shaking, shoulders falling. Fenris could hear the man’s breath catching in his throat, choking on the sobs that rattled him. He collapsed onto his knees, hands balled up on the floor. He was crumbling before his eyes, every bit of the man falling away to show the truth beneath it all.
Gently, Fenris stepped forward. He pulled one gauntlet free from his hand and slowly carded his fingers through the other’s hair. Hawke’s forehead pressed against Fenris’ stomach, his hands reaching up to find purchase on the man’s clothes. His sobs grew louder now, raw and ragged as he almost screamed. He finally let his world crash about his ears. Let the pain tear him apart. Let the templars, mages, qunari, everything finally take their piece and crush it. He finally let go and bore it all. His heart, his soul - everything laid bare for him.
In return Fenris gave him what he could. A gentle hand in his hair, a silent presence but one nonetheless. Something to hold onto as everything fell away. He could feel his own heart aching as he held witness to the unbridled anguish the man let loose. It was impossible for him to imagine carrying such sorrow for so long, for a man like Garrett who experienced emotions so vividly. In that moment he saw the true strength of the man he followed, the man he had fallen for - that these tears were no sign of weakness.
Today on Discord
Eoin: Well, you guys, it's been a sneeze.
Marly: ...bless you?
Me: You mean a gas?
Eoin: That's it.
