I am a person with a big heart.
I see a wounded person and I wrap my arms of friendship around them.
I want to fix them. Make them feel better about themselves. About life...
But you cannot do this without losing a bit of yourself as well.
This is not voluntarily. It is done out of the kindness of a person's heart.
I try to stop, try to protect myself from the evils that people hide within their souls...
But I cannot stop myself.
This past year I have had to dwindle my group of friends to the people that build me up instead of taking everything away.
This had left me with two good friends,and a few acquaintances.
But no matter how hard I try, I find myself with a few friends who still suck me dry of my heart.
I don't think these people do it on purpose, but because it is the way they are.
But it still hurts. To give your heart to a friend in need, and then have them not reciprocate. To be ignored for months no matter how many times you reach out, to have them reappear and blame their absence on being busy. Apologizing for not answering when you try to make plans, or when you need a shoulder to cry on.
I do not want to be a friend of convenience anymore.