recently I’ve realized that what’s helped me the most with creative burnout is having an actual purpose and audience. a lot of advice for burnt-out creatives is something like “try making the art you want to make, just for your own enjoyment.” and I do think that’s great advice, especially for artists who have previously consistently catered their creative practices towards what other people want them to make and have become burnt out as a result. deadlines/time constraints also make creativity stressful, so it’s good to remove those.
but personally, I get stuck on that piece of advice. I think to myself, “sure, I’ve got plenty of good ideas I’d love to try,” but when I finally get down to it, the creative process is difficult, I have limited capacity for it because of my disabilities, and it quickly becomes frustrating! I become tired and discouraged before I get the chance to be satisfied with my own work. most of the time it isn’t fulfilling enough to be worth the effort and potential frustration of trying.
but there is one simple trick that makes the creative process feel fun and rewarding again: doing it for a purpose, for someone who will really enjoy my work. it’s way easier to draw if it’s little doodles for my penpal, or drawing my friend who really loves any artwork people make of her. my writing starts sounding eloquent and poetic again when I have people in my life I want to write about, people I want to write poetry to because I know they’ll truly appreciate it. I finally finished altering a skirt I was upcycling because my friend texted me to ask about my recent projects and I wanted to show off some progress.
art is fundamentally about self-expression, and making things to fit certain purposes. art wants to be seen, understood, and appreciated. it feels pointless to try and make art “for yourself” when you’re often too exhausted to try anyways, and you think nobody will ever see or care about the things you make. when I was less disabled and had more time to make art, I got really discouraged because nobody was ever seeing or praising it (besides my mom, when I felt comfortable showing her). my dad insulted my artistic abilities when I was 12 and that really stuck with me, because there weren’t ever enough people praising my art for me to not believe him. I tried posting to social media a few years later and never gained any traction. I started comparing myself to artists I really like and despairing because I can’t make myself practice enough to produce such beautiful work. as my disabilities (and life circumstances) worsened and further prevented me from creating, I became envious of other people’s ability to create, but more specifically their energy, time, and ability to enjoy creating. I became so very bitter about the topic of creativity entirely.
so it was a very pleasant surprise, like flipping a broken switch and seeing the light turn on, when I realized that I feel passionate and joyful about creating again as long as I know there are other people who will enjoy what I make. it’s like any other form of expression/communication: if you always feel like everyone ignores you or doesn’t like what you have to say, you’ll stop speaking entirely. I stop speaking sometimes because of that. I also stop creating when I feel unheard.
it was never my fault I couldn’t find the joy in creation like I’ve wanted to so badly for years. first of all, I’m disabled and unfortunately my life circumstances forcing me to focus on survival 24/7 does significantly prevent me from creating as much as I want to, no matter what I do. but also, it’s not my fault I felt so completely discouraged because I had no friends or audience to encourage my creativity and engage with my artwork!! it was an understandable reaction to a lifetime of extreme social exclusion, misunderstanding, and discouragement.
even now I barely have any audience for my work, but just a couple friends enjoying and encouraging my creativity has helped me massively with the amount of despair and hopelessness I felt in regards to creation. maybe nobody will ever see or read this post I’m writing right now, but maybe they will! I have enough hope now to believe that my work will eventually reach other people who will resonate with it, even if that’s only a few. I hope this reaches someone else struggling like I am, so they know they’re not broken or alone.
