Mar 25, 2023
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Horror Movie Review: Creep Van (2012)
The best thing about Creep Van is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously and everyone involved plays up to that.
Directed by Scott W. McKinlay and written by Jim Bartoo, Creep Van is one of those nice low-budget/indie horror surprises. Where you go in not expecting much but come out satisfied and entertained. Not a great movie by any stretch but nowhere as bad as you might have expected. Brian Kolodziej plays Campbell, a ‘slacker’ character who can’t hold a job down. He is currently crashing on the couch…
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Shorthand Review - Creep Van (2012)
When known paedophile Victor Salva watched Creep Van, he said to himself "This! This what my film series has been missing! Crap!" and stole that for Jeepers Creepers 3. Released in 2012, but seemingly made in 1989, Creep Van is hardly gonna ruin my life or anything, but it was bad. Baaad.
Final rating:★½: - Boring/disappointing. Avoid where possible.
Day 13 - CREEP VAN ( 2012)
“Let the Bad Times Roll!”
PLOT Needing a new vehicle, a man calls the wrong number to buy an old “creep” van, only to find out the van is being used by a murderous psycho to hunt down and kill anyone and everyone.
REVIEW (spoiler alert**) I’ve saved this one for last. This is the best homage to the 80s B-horror that I’ve seen recently. Not because it is a great movie; not because it has awards written all over it; and not because the story will make you laugh and cry and contemplate your life’s future. No. It is good because it has the right formula and the right feel to mimic a good (and by good I mean bad) B-horror movie. It has a very basic plot and a murderer who has no motive. The van itself is a character as it has so, so many booby traps and weapons built into it that are used throughout the film (*see the test drive scene link below*). The actors appear as if they were friends of the film makers and wanted to say they “acted” in a movie. This indie film really delivers what you want if you want a cheesy, low budget, gore-filled, brain-numbed horror movie. I really do not want to ruin it for you, but am telling you now, for a good unintentional laugh, and a reminiscent blast from the 80s past-please watch this flick. At least look at the corny clips and pictures on YouTube. Overall, I’d give it 9 slices out of 10.
ACTING The acting is terrible. I really think the cue cards were just off to the side, or maybe the actors were even told the basic line and they improvised the entire scene. But that’s exactly what a movie called Creep Van needs. Some of the scenes are quite weird as well. Some odd adult themes, but again, very funny and acted hilariously…is that a word?
SCARES/SCARY SCARES - H-E- double hockey sticks, NO SCARY - No, it’s a van.
GORE SCORE This one gets a 7.5 out of 10. Score is for a woman hit with a van then pulled apart in two pieces, a man run over multiple times, a couple having sex on the couch as the van crashes into the house and runs them both over, a seatbelt tightening down to rip her skin and squeeze a woman to death, a meat tenderizer hooked up inside the van to deliver a blow to the back of same woman’s head, and a metal stake released by a button in the van that penetrates a hitchhiker’s chest.
BODY COUNT 16
BOOBY COUNT 2
HORROR FANS I don’t think so.
B-HORROR FANS A must see and an instant classic in the “B” world. See it twice!
SEE IT Netflix - No DVD and No Streaming Amazon - Buy on DVD and Instant, and free on Prime. YouTube - Clips only.
Check out the Red Band trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziXfaTykH2c
Check out this ‘test drive’ scene here (warning-graphic): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6QG8FEjyKQ
Creep Van marten blikis http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png http://regarderfilmvk.com/creep-van-streaming-gratuit.html Creep Van via regarder des special film en Regarderfilmvk.com
You know a movie's gonna be amazing when the opening line is: "What've I told you about going near vans? Only bad people own vans." Because that's the truth, folks. Stay away from vans. Merry Christmas.