#crovvder

[shegunfire-blog]

♟ / yEARLY ANGST REUNION IS A THING. and it's our thing

* ACTS OF INTIMACY : OPEN

                   blue eyes lazily watched as skilled fingers peeled off the now bloodied bandages away from ava’s brand new wound. shot in the chest   ━━  𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷𝚃 ? after all the bruises she had found over her pale skin , this would be the one that’d stick with her forever . and yet it was the one that had hurt the least . boyd crowder was far gentler than his brother . didn’t matter whether the scent of gunpowder was permanently stuck under his fingernails , ava knew the softness those calloused hands were capable of ; she had witnessed it many times before . 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 ( despite the crimson shade now staining his palms ) 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙽𝙾 𝙴𝚇𝙲𝙴𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 .

             having a bullet piercing through her flesh had been a breeze compared to the years of abuse she had suffered while married to bowman. the scar was ugly : a small circle of twisting skin desperately trying to regenerate itself and cover up the hollowness that , from time to time , still found itself oozing with blood . but as ava glanced down at it and watched boyd carefully cleaning it with a wet cloth , she couldn’t help but feel a distant sense OF PRIDE. the purple bruises once spread out across her ribs had been left there by a bitter possessive man. that little hole over her breast was there because of ava. she had agreed to this ; she had wanted to protect boyd just as much as he had wanted to protect her. 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚆𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙴𝚀𝚄𝙰𝙻𝚂 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙵. and the mere thought of that made the blonde’s heart throb. she loved boyd crowder enough to die for him.

            ❝      if you were lookin’ to get me undressed you could have just asked.    ❞     she playfully mentioned when feeling one of his hands brushing over the lace of her bra. she knew it hurt him to see her branded in the same way as he was. his eyes had been so focused and his jaw so tightly clenched during this little ritual of theirs that ava couldn’t help but think that the man might be punishing himself by forcing his stare to meet nothing but the blood and gore decorating her chest. had he raised his brown eyes once and he would have realized just how enthralled she was by him. ava just wanted to make him smile   ━━  wanted to reassure boyd that she didn’t regret 𝙰𝙽𝚈 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 . she ran one slim finger up his arm , offering boyd a sultry smirk.      ❝       no need to get your hands dirty like that.     ❞    

[shegunfire-blog]

“ i had nothin' to do with that. ”

* ANGSTY MEME : OPEN

     she  slowly   crossed   her   arms   over   her   chest   while  carefully   stepping   over   the   shards   of   broken   vases  that   now   decorated   her   porch.   dirt   and   trampled  flowers   had   fallen   victim   to   what   looked   like   a  violent   shootout.   there   were   still   bullet   marks   hanging  over   her   walls   like FRAMED   PAINTINGS. ava  looked UNHAPPY while   staring   down   at the   trail   of   destruction   but   easily   curled   her   thin lips   when   looking   at   boyd.   the   smile   never   quite  reached   her   eyes.        ❝        —   oh i   believe   you,   boyd.    ❞                  ava   said,   a   hint   of   humour   evident   in   the  way   she   spoke.   one   hand   lightly   grabbed   the   man’s  chin,   letting   the   thumb   stroke   small   circles   right  below   his   mouth.   ava   tilted   her   head,   fluttering   her lashes   innocently.       ❝        that’s   why i’m   havin’   you sleep   on   the   couch  tonight. y’know,   in   case   whoever IS responsible  shows   back   up   ?    ❞                   the   blonde’s   smile   widened.   there   was   some   mischief  there   ;   a   woman   who   had   been WRONGED and  that   was   taking VENGEANCE   BY   HER   OWN  HANDS. if   boyd   was   going   to   bring   his  business   to   her   doorstep   than   he   could  keep “HIS” business   out  of   the   bedroom.   ava   gave   him   a   soft   peck   on   the  lips,   turned   her   back   and   went   back   inside.   she   would   most   likely   come   get   him   in   the   middle   of   the   night   ,   blaming   her  change   of   heart   on   the   cold .

[sythegun-aa]

.   entry   012  @crovvder​  /  LOCATION.  REDACTED

          ‘  Sometimes  you  make  my  fuckin’  skin  crawl  y’know  that?  ’  Jackson  loads  gun  as  he  EYES  just  how  high  the  SPEDOMEETER  is  climbing.  (  SHIT  it’s  not  like  Jackson  can  drive,  )  ‘  You  said  this  would  be  fuckin’  EASY  Do  you  need  a  LESSON  in  what  that  means?  ’  Head  turns  as  he  looks  behind  the  black  car  that  races  onto  some  SIDE  ROAD,  ‘  I  said  SPOOK  him  not  shoot  his  fuckin  leg  off,  and  start  an  APB  on  us  ’  SIGHS  as  he  grunts  and  sticks  head  out  window,  arm  extends  as  GUN  is  directed  at  the  ASSHOLE  cop  who  had  DARED  to  follow  them  (  wait,  are  we  missing  something  here?  HADN’T  they  provoked  the  law  ?  ).  ‘  You’re  really  makin’  this  shit  REAL  difficult  ’  Hand  steady  as  they  take  a  shot,  and  the  bullet  DEFLECTS  on  police  car  window shield,  ‘    Crowder  could  you  KEEP  the  fuckin’  CAR  STILL  ?  ’  Impossible  to  do  just  that  when  you’re  on  a  dirt  road  and  going  110mph.  Then  again?  This  isn’t  the  first  time  Jackson  has  found  himself  in  this  position,  and  TRULY  he  LIKES  Crowder,  they  get  one  another,  and  he’s  sure  that  between  them  MORALS  are  well  . . .   loose  ,  and  he’s  sure  as  hell  not  worried  about  killing  the  cop  that  had  antagonized  the  situation  in  the  first  place.  Hadn’t  Jackson  RECENTLY  killed  an  FBI  agent?  Shit,  bodies  are  piling  up.  

[shegunfire-blog]

❝ i'm not happy about bein' here either. ❞

* ANGSTY MEME : OPEN

        she  stared   at   him   with   an   air   of   severity,   her  fingers   picking   at   the   small   skins   around   her   nails. this   was   the   second   time   in   three   months   boyd   had found   himself   thrown   behind   bars.   and   although   he  seemed   to   take   the   whole   thing   very   lightly,  ava DIDN’T. blue  eyes   widened   in   warning,   a weak  attempt at  trying   to   seem ANGRY at  him   and   his   orange   uniform.                  ❝     yeah   well,   you   need   t’a   stop  lettin’   yo’self   get   caught   like   this,   boyd!   ❞           this   was   a   rare   treat   for   both   of  them   :   having   no   thick   glass   between   them,   speaking  without   the   aid   of   a   phone   line   or   lingering  security   staff   in   the   background   … it  almost   felt   like   they   were   back   on   her   porch  having   a   conversation   over   cigarettes.                 ❝        they   must   be  feedin’   you   really   well   ‘cause   ,if   i   didn’t  know   any   better,   i’d   say   you LIKE  IT   HERE! ❞           her   brow   furrowed.   but   whenever  she   was   met   with   those   hazel   eyes   staring   back   at  her   with   nothing   but LOVE  AND   DEVOTION to  give,   all   frustration   was   drained   out   of   her.   ava  looked   down   at   her   hands.   she’d   make   herself   bleed if   she   didn’t   stop   picking   at   her   nails.   she  pressed   both   palms   flat   against   the   table,   sighing   in  defeat.                   ❝     come  back   home,   boyd.   ❞            ava  whispered.     

               ❝      i  miss   you. ❞        

[shegunfire-blog]

❝ i am going to do anythin' i have to do to protect him. ❞ /post justified where boyd finds ava and bb zachariah!!!

                                ava  doesn’t   let   her   hands   fall   to   her   sides.   instead she   keeps   them   up,   palms   turned   to   the   man  crouching   down   next   to her  son           ━━━          THEIR  SON ;  as   if   he   was   a   flame   that   provided   as   much  warmth   as   it   did DANGER .  zachariah   seems   oblivious   to   the   dilemma   his   mother  is   being   faced   with   .   he   continues   to   play   with  his   toys,   knocking   their   heads   against   each   other,  making   small pew  pew sounds  …   ava   thinks   about   the   shotgun   she   keeps   right  above   the   kitchen   sink   .    thinks   about   aiming   it  at   boyd   .   and   instantly   regrets   it   when   she   sees the   way   he   looks   at   their   baby   boy   .   ava   didn’t  remember   the   last   time   she   had   seen   the   man’s  eyes   shine   with   that   sort   of   happiness   .   she   still carried   a   few   good   memories   of   their   time   together (  ava   would   never   love   another   man   like   she   had  loved   boyd   until   the   day   she   died   ) but  there   was   so   much UGLINESS associated  to   that   time   of   her   life   that,   that   ava   preferred  not   to   think   of    boyd   or   harlan AT  ALL.  they   became distant  senseless   dreams which  she   didn’t   have   all   the   pieces   to. 

but  he’s   there,   in   the   flesh. AS   REAL   AS   THEY  GET. watching   zachariah   play   with   a   look   that  oozed   with   nothing   but   pure   and   honest LOVE  . and   ava   is   an IDIOT because,   for one   second,   she   holds   on   to   that   image.   she  considers   it   ; boyd,   zachariah   and   her, making  it   all   work   somehow,   building   something   safe   and  familiar   without   the   use   of   guns   or   fists.   maybe  things   would   never   be   the   same   between   the   two   of  them   again   but   zachariah   would   have   a   father   and  boyd   would   help   him   grow   smart   while   ava   would   help  him   grow   kind   …   it COULD   WORK,   ava  thought.   she   bites   the   inside   of   her   lip, hard.           ━━━            there   were still   marks   over   his   wrists   from   handcuffs. 

boyd  was   fresh   out   of   jail.

                               ❝      boyd,   ❞                       ava   hears  herself   whisper.   it’s   a   low   and   shy   thing. she  doesn’t   want   to   wake   from   this   dream.                  ❝    BOYD   .  ❞               but   she   has  to.   it’s   not   just   her   life   on   the   line   now.   she  can’t AFFORD to   gamble   like   she   had   in  the   past.                                  ❝     he’s   safe.   ❞                       she   assured  the   outlaw,   her   voice   firm   but   still   tainted  with WORRY.                                   ❝     he   don’t   need  protectin’   from   nothin’.     ❞                        the   only   threat   to  zachariah’s   safety   was   whatever  HELL   BOYD   HAD  BROUGHT   WITH   HIM   FROM   HARLAN.  

@crovvder

[staggeredlee]

boyd @ stagger : well dAMN son u lookin mighty fine

stagger @ boyd : well HECK son , ain’t we a fine lookin’ pair !

[lcftalive]

“it won’t happen again. it won’t.”

meme.

there’s  a  slight  smile  growing  on  her  lips,   slow  and  satisfied  and  proud.     heavy  eyes  look  at  him,   whatever  grievance  she’d  previously  uttered  at  him  dissipating,   but  not  being  forgotten.     she  always  had  tried  her  best  to  show  agency,   especially  after  bowman.     she’d  wasted  so  many  years  under  his  cruel  hand,   and  if  there  was  one  promise  she  ever  really  intended  to  keep,   it  was  the  one  she  made  to  herself  :   never  allow  another  crowder  man  to  let  her  down  and  drive  her  into  the  ground.     parallel  to  that  promise  was  the  belief  that  she  couldn’t  depend  on  another  soul  but  her  own,   but  if  there  was  another  soul  she  could  hope  to  call  on  without  disappointment,   she  knew  it  was  boyd.     he  loved  her   (  just  like  she  loved  him  ),   and  she  was  well  aware  of  that.     a  sigh  leaves  her,   nodding  at  him,   glad  he  hadn’t  disagreed  with  her   —————    glad  he  hadn’t  forced  her  to  turn  away.

❝     thank  you,   baby  .  .  .     ❞

@crovvder.

[lcftalive]

“i can’t sleep for shit.”

meme.

ava  lays  ‘side  him,   silence  filling  the  room  for  what  had  been  at  least  an  hour  when  he  mutters  the  words.     she  wouldn’t  admit  it,   but  she’d  been  close  to  closing  her  eyes  just  moments  before  he  spoke.     she  didn’t  mind  the  disruption,   not  when  it  was  something  as  lovely  as  the  tired  voice  of  boyd  crowder.     the  bed  creaks  as  she  turns  over,   looking  at  him  in  the  dimly - lit  room,   nothing  but  the  soft  glow  of  moonlight  shinning  on  his  face.     it  was  something  beautiful,   being  alone  with  him  in  the  quiet  of  the  night,   not  hearing  a  thing  but  those  kentucky  crickets  outside  her  window  singing  the  kind  of  sweet  song  you’d  only  hear  in  the  south.     it  was  a  big  ol’  house  in  a  little  ol’  holler,   and  it  was  his  presence  that  made  all  of  it  feel  like  home.     

the  woman  lays  on  his  chest,   her  sleepy  smile  happy  to  show  itself  for  him.     this  has  to  be  what  happiness  is,   don’t  it ?     i  could  stay  with  you  like  this  forever.     her  fingers  daintily  move  back  and  forth  over  the  faded  bullet  scar  on  his  chest  .  .  .          ❝     you  okay,   baby ?     ❞

@crovvder.