look i'm sorry to say this due to the context at hand *gestures* and i know that hollywood is a cesspool of terrible human beings with terrible interests but yeah, i did. i did watch deadpool and wolverine
and i just
i can NOT stay silent about the sheer homoerotic tension between the two protagonists. they really took one of the most terminally straight, pent-up, macho and yet male-fantasy superheroes and played the fantasy completely straight, going all the way into insane fanservice. they saw the vision and they went for it
it's a testosterone filled movie, very manlike, very action-packed, hysterical as usual, very tryhard edgy but on purpose in a weird meta-ironic way, and i left the theater TERRIBLY HORNY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M S---
like you canNOT just fucking end the movie on a climatic scene where, not only does wolverine FINALLY don his iconic mask in a movie and look ridiculously hot in it (and the suit tbh) BUT in the peak of tension his clothes literally evaporate for no reason and you get SEVERAL shots of his glistening pecs and abs with glorious music bein all like "this is what you wanted" after like two hours of very much intentional homoerotic tension that you know isn't going to go anywhere bc wolverine is straight as hell (even though deadpool is most likely pan or whatever i can't tell)
EXCEPT SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE THEY LIKE. UM?????????????? HAVE SEX???????????? BUT IT'S NOT SEX????????????? BUT IT IS??????????? HANG ON HANG ON
ok so like they're inside this car right... in the middle of a forest... no one's around... they get all deep and emotional and then they get super mad at each other and they start a super gory and violent fight and they thrash the car and it's all a terribly bloody mess and then the fucking Camera Pans Out And The Car Is Shaking Like They Were Doing The Thing and They stay Like That for The Entire Night and there's this weirdly sensual but hateful but playful energy all the way throughout and it's like IT'S SO CHAOTIC WHAT THE CAPITAL W WHAT
THEY BASICALLY MADE A HATE SEX SCENE THAT'S NOT A HATE SEX SCENE BUT IT IS
The whole movie seems to explore this complicated relationship we have with toxic masculinity in which we hate it and it's bad but it's also kind of weirdly sexy and hot but it's also ridiculous and and-
ARE YOU SEEING MY VISION
AND IT'S LIKE... THE STRAIGHT GUY AUDIENCE IS SO SILENT ABOUT THIS????? DO THEY NOT SEE IT... but again, it's marvel, it's disney, OF COURSE this movie is not queer at all
but it also kinda? sorta? is? maybe? because it's very clearly marketed at straight guys
but then they add these moments of sheer macho extravaganza where the unintentional eroticism of the testosterone induced madness teeters on the line between unintentional and intentional except it's very much intentional but it's also a joke
i have not once seen any comment about this movie being woke, and it isn't, don't get me wrong. but it has all of the elements that would make Those People cry "woke madness", just arranged in such a way that it's barely a joke even though they somehow managed to fit
what's 90% of the way into a hate sex scene featuring the two male protagonists but it isn't but it absolutely FEELS that way if you *Know*
a straight-up fan service scene that is every masked man fan's wet dream come true
i think they're not saying anything because the movie is very much celebrating that brand of masculinity so they're like "hell yeah" but it's just so... you know what i mean?
it makes me wonder how much homoeroticism can straight guys literally EAT UP as long as it's suposed to be "a joke" and "funny" and "ironic"
did i get queerbaited in 2024? well no. like i didn't really expect them to start dating at ALL (they didn't). but it's like. funny. i'm almost positive they wanted to dare a lot of the male audience to stay convinced they're straight and not have a single hard-on at any point during the movie. while at the same time steering clear of any accusations because "comedy guys!!!!!!!!!!!! so funny!!!! haha!!!" and yet no one says anything because if you do, oh maybe you're just projecting, are you gaaaaaaay?????
all i'm saying is the car scene was as hot as all hell and LOWKEY kind of a serve idek i'm tired my brain is tired i am not immune to queerbait propaganda take me boys i am Weak and painfully basic and cringe
but also i hate the uhhh two wokeness jokes in the movie they're stale and bad (though deadpool does use the singular they pronoun once without even flinching? "groundbreaking" i know i KNOW leave me aloneeeeee afknlzsgjsd)
sorry for saying anything good about mainstream media (you know why but mentioning it in this frivolous ass post just feels wrong)
anyway if you actually read this thank you and i'm sorry you had to experience this from me. here have a flowe 🌸
