#crushblogging

[cuddlytogas]

I miss the days when being in love felt good. when there was hope, and anticipation, and possibility, or when there was reciprocation, even when it was hard and distant or complicated. now I'm just... stuck, in this hopeless, painful, useless place, in love and knowing it's pointless, just hurting. hurting a lot, all the time, stuck in self isolation so I don't even have much of platonic love to distract me from the misery. when will love start feeling good again?

[moved2anotherplace12345]

alright I got my sweatshirt on, I got a cup of water, I got tissues, I'm playing Running Up That Hill in my headphones, I'm eating a PB sandwich, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

[elric-chan]

Me, constantly: oh God I went too far I done fucked up

Literally everyone: bitch calm down ur fine

[dratinimartini]

I was planning to tell crushboy my feelings today but. I am too scared. I don’t want to forfeit a friendship and destroy my romantic self esteem for all eternity. I’m a coward fhdgxkdfhk

My feelings will go away if I just accept that I’ll be rejected, vividly imagine it over and over, and move on yes? I’ve made myself physically ill with anxiety over this and I have to just suck it up. I’m covered in zits, can’t sleep, can’t work on art or fic or candy, I’m crying every 20 minutes, and I almost passed out during my usual workout from the added stress. I’ve just gotta throw in the towel and move on TT-TT)9

[hanasaku-shijin]

God I can’t wait to have a s/o who can come to my family holiday gatherings with me so I can show them off to everyone and brag about them and give them presents and when the older relatives start babbling and talking about random stuff I can just lean onto my s/o’s shoulder and happily snuggle up to them and close my eyes for a few seconds and feel them stroke their fingers through my hair god why do I torment myself with these thoughts

[shockyky]

hhaaaaaa I have? A crush??? On a boy???? Oh????

[moved2anotherplace12345]

[cuddlytogas]

hmmmmmm tonight I played solitaire (like, with an actual deck of cards) while two of my dearest friends discussed their tinder adventures and an upcoming date, and even though I love them both VERY dearly, and they're perhaps the least obnoxiously couple-y people I know, and they weren't by any means actively excluding me, and they both absolutely deserve love and partnership, I............ Did Not Like It. hm.